At 10pm earlier I walked out not with Esther or Rayner(??) or by myself or just Amelia or any of the regulars who remain in school to study till we get chased out. I walked out with 5 other classmates and Ammar. Like, wow, the most unlikely group of people! It was my first time seeing Jenisse, Andrew and Matthew stay till 10pm. Anyway, it's been a long time since I last walked out of school smiling and laughing so much. So that felt good (: Just wonder if they're all going to start adopting my daily mug-in-school routine.

Amelia and I went for the MEP recital by the J2 students. I kinda dragged her there =/
I think the performers could have done wayyyyyyy better. Still, good job! Especially to Chowder and Clairebear! (: Andrew pointed out that I go for almost every MEP concert/recital. hahaha at least this time it was free.

What's stuck in my head - You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)

You're on the phone with your girlfriend,she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
Cos' she doesn't get your humour like I do

I'm in my room it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never get your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favourite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

Things don't always turn out the way you want to

It was my first time stepping into an ICU ward. I didn't really like the feel of it, but I don't regret being there. Too many chances for me to visit Aunty Daphne at home have slipped by, and each time my family went without me, my mum said she'd ask for me. It was always the same answer, 'Joyce is out studying'. Once, my mum lied that I was studying when I was with my friends at some concert or cell bonding or some other gathering, I can't remember. It was the least I could do less than 6 hours ago, appear by the side of her bed as she lay sedated...

I love you, Aunty Daphne, we all do. I'm so sorry for not doing what I wanted to do when you were still able to walk around at home, play with your dogs, forward inspiring emails and make status comments on Facebook. Hang in there, please, I know you're strong. For Uncle CK, for your loved ones. Don't go. Please.


Note to self: always carry a packet of tissues.

young? in what sense?

I just remembered a remark you made last Sunday which really pissed me off. I was merely concerned about her, and you just had to say, "you're still young lah".

Excuse me, I believe I am of the same age as she is. One and a half months difference isn't very significant, is it? And if you're talking about level of maturity, I'm not going to comment on how mature I think I am, but please know that my stand on the issue of __________ity shares a zero correlation with my concern of how she is coping. Just because I have strong convictions and beliefs that make me different from the typical youth of today, this does not mean that I am made less mature as compared to the others. That is, other youths my age.

Come to think of it, I still feel mad about this. I promise you that you will have no knowledge of the details of my life from now on, besides my grades, maybe. Cos' you don't have a right to know, and why would you want to, since my life is so mundane and so much less exciting than others', right? And neither will I ask you how she's doing, I may as well go ask her myself. Or, I could put it another way - since she already has backup, all sharing the same views, I think I can take my leave and dissolve from her life or risk being viewed as nothing but a busybody. Not that I actually care about what others may think... Well maybe I do. Call me sensitive.

Urgh.


(just in case anyone's planning to comment on this post... don't do it. time heals all wounds anyway. it won't be long before mine gets healed. just feeling a bit angsty of late.)

Things don't always turn out the way you want to

I don't know what's wrong with me. Don't tell me there's nothing, cos' there is something. I want to be a hermit and hide myself from the world, although one may say it's ironic that I say this while blogging on the World Wide Web. This phase will pass. If not soon, then later.


Take me now, way beyond the veil...
Where I can see You
Where I can see You, Jesus
Hold me now within Your arms of love
I wanna be with You
I wanna be with You

lao peng you

I saw Kenneth Gan at Bishan library today!! hehe, so happy to see an old face :) Man I really miss my very first OG from SRJC, Cetus 4!!!