angry or sad?

i am FOURTEEN this year.
FOURTEEN, 14
yet i'm getting whacked, caned, beaten up, scolded. i swear the entire block could actually hear all the commotion. people who got higher marks than me and still complain about being lousy, how are those who flunked supposed to feel? what about me? a total idiot who cannot do well for english, math, science, history..? going to take music next year, and i've no idea how on earth can that help me. i hate it when parents scold and instead of giving encouragement, end up getting beaten up. why are they always comparing me with the A class students? for some subjects, i have done a little more than expected. i'm getting the idea of myself being an idiot. it's hard to avoid the cane or beating. again, i'm 14. not 4. they want me to go to a university which is like, impossible, and get some degree when i can't even get a B3 for english maths and science.
if i'm wasting their money on tuition fees, then why are they still letting me have tuition?
right now, i'm left in a state of confusion. this, or that, or what.

the one who scolded me the F word isn't making my life easier either.
please, be more sensitive towards other people's feelings.
just because your results are good, that does not give you the
right to shoot vulgarities at your targets. you have absolutely no
idea how much you've hurt them

it's best not to hate someone. the feeling that the world hates you is, horrible. it'll be good if we all treated FL with a little more patience and be warmer, not colder. she can be quite nice.

life is unfair, but we still have live on. no one can change it except God. no matter how much effort i put in, those demanding parents of mine will never be satisfied. i'll continue to be caned till the age of 21. how's that.