Troubled

When you know that all your efforts would be futile, and you have to go through all that frustration and disappointment which will just build up to nothing, do you still continue to give yourself the green light?

Would you regret even initiating it or console yourself by thinking that at least you tried and gave your best shot (but just couldn't change the outcome)? Even when the probability of it turning around is almost zero?

What would you have done if you were placed in a situation as such? Would it be wiser to have applied the cost-benefit analysis as with economic decisions?


Why am I even doing this?

But God sees the heart so His opinion should be the only one that REALLY counts right? Or am I simply using this approach to console myself again?

Edited 2:40AM, 10 April
All turned out well in the end, thank God :)

That aside, on a completely different note.........

I think I only realise how much someone means to me until that someone leaves.

Time stops for no man. The time has come and I'm not even prepared for that particular farewell ): What does this mean for me? Well the full impact of it is being felt now, tonight, like boomz. (no joke ok) It's kind of depressing. I'm so tempted to express this directly, physically, but urgh I can't. (don't know what i'm saying? no worries. no sex can already)

My friend, you will be dearly missed. What am I to do without you?

(no one died by the way)

(this wasn't supposed to sound like a joke)