Scrunched up

I keep frowning these days.

Why can't I meet such simple demands and expectations?

May the creases at my forehead smooth out, and my facial muscles work to invoke positive emotions.

The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Random

Eh...

I don't usually get blog views. But I got a sudden surge of blog hits today O_O Wonder who discovered this space, haha.

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Been feeling very encouraged by the words and music from this song recently :) A timely reminder of how big, loving, and ABLE our God is.

Meetings and their effects

This article - Attending meetings lowers IQ, scientists say - published by TODAYonline, sparked some interest on Facebook some time back. People who disliked meetings were quick to use this to their weapon, without actually analysing the article or the original research done, the primary source. I just find it ridiculous that there are actually people who propose to abolish meetings because of this -.- Come on. How else are groups and teams going to engage in interpersonal communication???

This blog entry - Stuck on your ideas: fixation in group brainstorms - caught my eye too, while doing some online search for my Cognitive Psychology presentation. Unfortunately, I haven't exactly had the time to read through this. It's an interesting topic. I WILL READ THIS. After I have cleared all my outstanding to-dos.

New Cardigan from Hollyhoque!

Prior to my purchase at last week's launch, I already had 3 Hollyhoque knit cardigans, and I had told myself that 3 was enough. However, the preview for the criss cross knit long cardigan in red won me over, and after much deliberation, I decided I MUST camp for this item - which I did successfully - and made it my fourth knit cardigan from HH! I helped Candice cart out one as well cos' she, too, thought that this cardi was nice! :P My heart was racing 3 minutes before launch time, and I made one wrong click when carting out (clicked paypal instead of iB/ATM transfer payment method) so can you imagine how anxious I was?!! But I was overjoyed when I managed to cart out TWO cardis :D Duh.

I was super excited to receive my parcel, and when did, tried it on immediately.

Outerwear: Criss Cross Knit Long Cardigan - Hollyhoque
Top: Mandarin Collar Lace Top - Hollyhoque
Bottom: Flap Ruches Bandage Skirt - Hollyhoque
(this photo is also on instagram)

Though a little overwhelming on a UK6, the comfort, design, patterns and colour totally had me won over :) It's perfect for girls who want to keep warm in air-conditioned places (like, really perfect. Warmer than my other cardis) and look good at the same time. It's in a reeeeeeeeally lovely shade of red, and a unique addition to my wardrobe :) No regrets for this purchase - so far. And I hope it wont stretch too much, because the main body of the cardi is kinda big :( Doesn't hug my body like other cardigans when I button it up! I'd give this a 5/5 rating if the body part was more fitting! My rating currently stands at 4/5 for this.

Right after I removed the plastic :)

I think many girls would agree that it's the entire online shopping experience (including the camping and anticipation)  that makes us happy; it's not just the purchased item. I HAVE to add this as a psych major - satisfaction with an online purchase increases when you know that you managed to get a popular item that was sold out within 2 minutes of the launch :P The extent of increase depends on knowledge of the quantity demanded and sold. Based on personal experience lol. I may just conduct a survey to test this out.

Have I mentioned? THE RED IS JUST SO PRETTY <3

And I shortened and edited the above review before submitting it for AFC - A Fashionista's Confession. Made myself sound less excited and fanatic. AFC is the store's way of encouraging customers to write reviews which will be posted on their blog, and then give discounts for their next purchase. I would have given a longer review if not for the fact that the reward is fixed at $1.50 hahah.

I just HAPPENED to be wearing HH apparels for school that day. I got the top a loooong time ago, and I still love it because of the chiffon silk material and the pretty crotchet details :)

Credits to Hollyhoque. 

This is how it looked on the model, Nicole. Of course it looks much better on her haha. I hope HH manufactures more of such tops with chiffon silk material and crochety/lacey stuff! Really like those <3

Posting about clothes makes me happy yay :) There are certain parts of my physical self that I'm not exactly satisfied with, like my teeth, my chin (sighhhh my chin :( ), and my lips. But what I'm really thankful for is my size! I mean, I can fit into all these awesome clothing and I don't have to keep being conscious of how much or what I'm eating. Though of course I control my diet so that my tummy will not keep showing. Each time I look at my body in the mirror, I thank God that He didn't make me any bigger or smaller :)

I'm losing my drive, and I need it back badly. Fast. It's critical; all that's been done thus far would otherwise come to naught.

Need motivation. Loads of it.

Fuzziness

It's been awhile since I got butterflies in my stomach from meeting familiar people. Or a familiar person.

Kinda forgotten how it feels like. This feels somewhat different. It's neither in this zone, nor that. I'm hoping that it will not turn out the way I think it will. Don't want to feel disappointed again and experience that whole cycle all over.

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I deliberately avoided you - for the first time. Gives you more time to reflect I guess. Hope you had a pleasant day nevertheless.

Cold.

It's nice to have someone (usually the same person) who asks you why you're not sleeping, and to go to sleep all the time. I feel so ^_^. Though the feeling doesn't usually last. It's just one of the many small things that warms me now. Take them away, and... I cannot imagine how my perceived life will be.

Wanted to type that I feel a lack of.. the sense of affiliation and belonging to what used to be this group of coursemates I was close to, and in hall, I just don't truly fit in anywhere. I'm everywhere but nowhere in hall. In church... the closeness just isn't there, but that's mostly my fault for investing so much in hall/school (where I don't get much returns anyway). I always seem to be looking at the people and groups I (was) close to, from a third person's perspective. And I cannot picture myself in there anymore. It makes me retreat further. I always ask myself... am I trying too hard? Then I withdraw. Everyone seems better off without me anyway. What am I? Nothing. I'm worthless to them.

(then somewhere at the back of my mind, the memory of Pastor Derek's closing to his sermon not long ago nudges me, urges me to stop these thoughts... )

Year 2 has been emotionally-challenging so far. I find myself being a lot more defensive (towards friends), suspicious, pessimistic, and cynical than usual. Before this year, I had never blown my top at anyone (family aside). I've done so a few times already, and it makes me wonder...what is it that made me do this? Is this normal at all? My self-esteem feels like it's taken a dip.

My perception of the environment just got a lot worse. It's colder, bluer than ever before. The warmth that I crave seems so far away now.. and I'm starting to lose hope in myself, in my social environment.

I should just sleep.