Trying damn hard to live as normally as I possibly can, because it wouldn't be fair to let my shit affect my friends' lives. Because they haven't done anything to deserve my moodiness. Because it just wouldn't be fair to them.

I'm stronger than I think.

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It's stupid to cry when i'm on the train. I will not. My eyeliner will smudge.

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It's 9.30pm and I'm on the train back to hall after meeting some course mates to shop for our own stuff and birthday presents for others. I thought I was fine when I was with them. But as the sky grew darker, so did my emotions, and once again I found myself being bitter at all the songs that were being played. Maroon 5's Payphone did it and had me
close to tears once more..

I'm only blogging now to prevent the same thing from happening this afternoon, during the journey out of hall. I find it so hard to remain calm when alone, and yet I don't want to feel like I'm pretending to be normal in front of others, when I'm clearly not.

This isn't even the full blow. I cannot how imagine how I'd feel, had it gone deeper.

These scars, they burn.