you should let nobody destroy your dreams just because they lack vision, and no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
It's something I try to remind myself too, whenever I can. 2013 was filled with much opportunities and happiness, but there were times where I felt like I was a mere tool, and I was never good enough, was not as liked by others as I would have wanted to be. Sometimes I end up disgusted by myself for envying my own friends, for this inevitably created slight feelings of resentment for something I perceived to have lacked.
I know what I need - greater self-esteem, confidence, perceived competency. This is something I struggle with, year after year, although sometimes it may not be obvious to the people around me. After all, I am a psychology major, and I am expected to be able to deal my own inner struggles. Correct? ..... Actually, it's not as easy as everyone thinks. There is a limit to how much I can do, on my own. :(
Learning is a lifelong process which extends to and applies to every possible domain in our lives. This includes that of my spiritual life - I am still learning to rely less on myself, more on God, while striking a balance such that I do not end up blaming God for negative events. This year, I will learn to seek Him more, in every possible way, for every little thing. I will seek God with that child-like faith I saw during my cell group's recent mission trip. Then, perhaps, all those insecurities can be dealt with more effectively.
One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek;
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
Psalm 27:4
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