10th JCRC Rally Hall 12

Each Hall in NTU will go through a period of Junior Common Room Committee (JCRC) campaigning, rallying and polling to elect the next batch of students worthy of 'governing' each hall's social, sports and welfare matters, just to name a few.

I have just attended Hall 12's two days of rallying, and the response from its residents - based on both days' turnout - had my eyebrows raised. I don't know about the rest, but I felt that as a hall resident, it is important to know who are the candidates running for the JCRC, and who are the ones who would eventually make decisions on your behalf whenever hall matters are concerned. It was also my first time experiencing such a political event since, well, I'm under 21 and I can't vote for Singapore's next ruling party. I also felt it necessary to be there for 3 of my seniors who are running for JCRC, even though they had their rally yesterday. As an aesthetics performer, I know how it feels like to know that someone is there watching you and being with you (though physically far away) when you are involved in something important to you. So yeah, even though my OG was busying themselves with recreational sports elsewhere, I felt I had to stay at the rally... at least my conscience feels better :)

Having seen almost all the candidates speak, I must say that there is a lot that I can learn from them. I have almost zero public speaking skills, I cannot speak in front of a crowd under pressure, and my nervousness will just give me away. I don't even know if I even have half their certainty that this Hall is worth giving up all other commitments (like school CCAs) for. Not to mention the politics that are bound to arise within the committee, or the skepticism that hall residents may have towards the JCRC. As someone who is very concerned about how people perceive me to be, I simply don't have the guts to step forward like they do. I don't know if I ever will have too. Ha haa.



That aside... I really need to catch up on my studying. I have countless readings to do, and though it may look like I'm always studying, the fact remains that my courses and electives require me to READ and READ and READ and I do not really have a choice but to look like I am a hardcore mugger :( SIGH!

Jesus Take The Wheel

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh

Sometimes, it's not that I want to be anti-social and distance myself away from the lot of you. I just cannot find a common topic, cannot identify with your views and way of doing things. It's the little differences that snowball and pull me apart, and there's always this awkwardness that sets in when I'm with you. Well, almost always. More often than not, I find it really difficult to talk to you and be my natural self. I'm making an effort though. But if you want to be exclusive and unaccommodating, there's nothing I can do. Can't you see that I'm already trying? Why can't you do the same? I'm so tired of this.

Hall 3 Friend

Okay, this is really cool. I always knew that Alvin (ex-colleague at e2i, another temp staff) stays at Hall 3, blk 3C but didn't know which block was 3C. Until today. And that he could look into my room from his pantry :O

Start of University Life

So much has passed since I last posted... God has been showering me with blessing after blessing, helping me to adapt to my new school, new friends, new environment.

I attended NTU's Cultural Activities Club (CAC) Freshmen Orientation Camp (FOC) for 5 days 4 nights, where I had my first clubbing experience, first SP and initiation night, first glipse of how a uni FOC was like. It was then that I got a culture shock too. Suddenly everyone was speaking in Chinese and talking about Chinese singers I didn't know exist. Lol.

I went for the Psychology Society's FOC which lasted 2 days and a night, where I got to know some people from my course. It wasn't really a camp, more like a gathering and for you to mingle with course mates.

I got rejected from HSS FOC as there were too many people and I didn't send in my application early enough. hahaha.

I got rejected for Hall 12 FOC... initially. Until Amelia emailed Boyang and Glenn (the Chair and Vice-Chair) pleading for them to take us in. By God's grace, they did and we were integrated into the large Hall 12 family.. I am still thankful that we managed to go for this camp, for it is kind of like the only way we could really get to know the others from our hall. I have since made friends beyond that of my OG, had numerous activities with Kriffin, went for a Joint Hall Bash with them (aka clubbing) where about half of us went wild.....

These 3 weeks in hall actually went smoother than expected, though I've had some moments where I simply did not want to talk to anyone, especially recently during the hall bash. There were emotions and thoughts that were spilling out of my mind, I didn't know how to organise or express them properly. Lessons have started and already, I'm behind in my readings. I don't know how I'm going to continue with my sociology elective. The readings all make no sense to me, though I thought I could do culture and globalisation perfectly fine. I'm suddenly thankful that I'm majoring in psychology and not sociology.

I'm so sleepy I could drift off right here, right now in my dining room with my elbow resting on my psychology textbook. yawns.

NDP-induced Traffic Jams

See link here http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/this_urban_jungle/397980/traffic_jam_at_nicoll_highway_is_actually_ndp_2010_motorcade.html#commentSection

I second the majority of the STOMPers' comments. I believe the committee has made it clear enough that there would be road closures in view of the parade rehearsals. It has been widely broadcasted to make sure the public is aware of this. Still, people choose to be ignorant and end up complaining about this. Oh well. Their loss.

By the way, it's really fun to be part of the NDP. I'm an usher this year :D Get to watch free parade and ceremony (but 6 times over..), get 2 free tickets to NE1/CR4, and better still.... get to see lots of men in uniform!!!! Haha. Yes all these over 5 Saturdays and a Monday.

How can I keep from singing

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

How can I keep from singing your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is your love
How can I keep from shouting your name
I know i am loved by the king
And it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

LSBC Church Camp 2010

Photos in this post are (reproduced without permission) from Yeo Mei's camera. Many thanks, girl. Please don't remove the photos from Facebook or they'll be gone from here too! I didn't save the eeemages, just got the URLs off your album.


This year's church camp was held at The Legend Hotel, KL, with about 750 campers comprising of the elderly, adults, young adults, youth, children and BABIES!! Needless to say, this was another awesome camp with a different set of memories and experiences. The next step is how to maintain this spiritual high that was encountered during the camp.

There were 3 40-seater coaches and 7 or 8 26-seater coaches I think. Those in uncle James' cell and Nelson's cell were in the same coach, together with a couple of other adults and some 17-yr-olds. You could say that our coach was rather lively.

When we arrived at the Malaysia Customs, the group split to join different queues to get our passports stamped. I joined the queue with 4 17yo guys in my coach. And out of the 4, 2 of them couldn't get through because apparently they had been asked to change their passport photos earlier.. which they didn't do. They held up the queue and I had to shout for help (i.e. get the attention of Nelson/Rebecca) to settle this issue. Thank God they eventually got through.. wonder what Nelson said to get them through.

Image 1: Waiting for Nelson to settle the passport photo issue

Journey there was smooth and comfortable :)

Image 2: zzzzzzzzzzzzz

We were greeted like VIPs upon arrival at the hotel. First we were received by the hotel staff who made a path for us to walk through, and welcomed us as we walked through. This was followed by the church elders who stood by a red carpet and welcoming us with noisemakers of all sorts. Party poppers, rattles, you name it. All of us were like, O_O WOW what a reception! Hahaha. But I must say that the hotel staff lived up to their first impression which they left on us. They are really polite. They even say good morning/evening to you when you're walking at the corridor! No pics of the staff though. And there were a few cute waiters. heh heh.

Image 3: This was at the hotel's entrance :)

The food there was only so-so, not THAT bad but not fantastic either. Uncle James (cell ldr) was displeased with almost every dish. He brought us to Madam Kwan's at the Pavilion, near Berjaya Times Square... and boy, THE FOOD WAS SO GOOD I COULD EAT ENOUGH FOR 2 PEOPLE but of course I paiseh, though he said to order whatever and how much we liked, I just ate like a lady. Madam Kwan's makes the hotel food pale in comparison!! Such is the standard of our cell leader. haha. The lunch was on him, and I wonder how much he actually paid. . . .

Image 4: Digging in

Images 5 & 6: Before and after. Food tastes better than it looks.

Image 7: A happy UJC (Uncle James' Cell) outside the restaurant

Singaporeans need to take the trains in KL, experience a train ride for themselves before complaining about our MRT system. Like Emelyn posted on Facebook, I've really come to appreciate our trains a lot more. They're faster, higher in frequency, easier to purchase single-trip tickets, easier to change trains at interchanges, and passengers are considerably more thoughtful. I was disgusted to see how people shoved their way INto the monorail in KL while other passengers were trying to get OUT. And it was SO packed we had to forgo 3 monorails before we finally managed to squeeze ourselves into an emptier train. (no photo sorry) Oh gosh, the horror. That's why we pay higher fares in Singapore too I guess.

Image 8: Cell at Hang Tuah station

Image 9: Another cell at same station

We took the train to Mid Valley on the second day, more than 30 of us. Imagine such a large group walking to the station, purchasing tickets and boarding the train together. It was fun though :)

Images 10 & 11: Our 3osomething-strong group. See background

Image 12: Inside the Ladies' Coach

Image 13: Part of the group

Magnum in Malaysia is really CHEAP (relative to that of Singapore's). One Magnum costs RM3.50 in 7-eleven there, but is I think S$3.90 here. So a lot of us took the chance to indulge in a stick of Magnum ice-cream while we were there after a bak kut teh supper on the first night. (no photos)

My roommate was Jacelyn, again :D

Image 14: Mei nu Jacelyn who was coughing badly throughout the whole camp :(

We forgot to take our groceries after making payment for them at Cold Storage, and only went back 2 days later to retrieve them. Win already. hahahha.

We had a girls night on the second night where girls from the two cells (Nelson's and James') gathered to chill over snacks and some...gossip. hehe. Nothing like a good night with the girls!

On the last day, our coach was one of the last to arrive at the hotel.. so there was lots of camwhoring to pass time :)

Image 15: Very bored Bus B passengers

Images 16: Erm.. wow.

Image 17: One of the last photos taken before someone shouts "BUS B!!!!!!", which was followed by cheers from its passengers. Oh, and our coach number was 7878 :)

--

This year's theme revolved around the goodness of God, and breakthroughs in our personal life and in church.

During the discussion within our cell groups, the topic of serving in a ministry was brought up again. And that was when Michelle, the only other cell mate who is not currently serving, revealed that she has decided to join the Hospitality Team. I was still undecided, and that kinda put greater pressure on me to make up my mind and take action soon instead of sitting around and not doing anything.

For 2.5 years, I have been inactive in service to the church (or, serving God in the church) because I chose to join the AC Chinese Orchestra because I really wanted to be part of an orchestra/ensemble, and both practices clashed. I have been ministry-less ever since. Been thinking of what to join but I just could not come to a conclusion.

People who know me well know that I enjoy performing as part of an ensemble or orchestra, producing music in a group. It's something I have been doing since primary school, and something I intend to do for as long as I can. This has been planned out long ago.. I joined ACCO (where I picked up the erhu) so that I can continue to be part of a performing arts group in university. Because they don't have handbells (which I played in sec sch) or angklungs (pri sch). Music is so much a part of me that I don't ever want to give it up.

I don't think I have mentioned this before, but I communicate with God through songs whenever I can. I find that I can better express myself when I do this. Things which cannot be put into songs are put across through the normal mode of communication - prayer. You see, when words fail, music speaks... and that is something most of us musicians cannot deny.

During the Holy Spirit Night on the third night of the camp, people got ministered to, deliverance took place, God moved among us. It was also through this session that God spoke to me and suddenly everything seemed to fall into place. All the elders and their wives prayed for every camper who wanted to receive prayer and a word from God. The matching of camper to elder was entirely random, which makes it even more freaky when a prophecy is made which the receiver can 100% relate too.

Elder Melvin Gan prayed for me, and he started out with tongues, where my mind was just blank. I expected something to happen, but I just didn't know what. Then he said he felt that the word the Lord had for me was 'Music'.

As he said that, something stirred within me, and I couldn't stop crying after that. Why?

1. Music has always been something very dear to my heart
2. I've been doubting whether my gifting does lie in music cos I cant seem to play/sing as well as I could before
3. I've stopped serving for 2.5 years now, but am quite hesitant in going back to serving in a ministry, and which to serve in. Deep inside I know I want to go back to the worship team (just unsure of when) but
   part of me says I simply am not good enough
4. Melvin, who prayed for me, has no idea what or how much music actually means to me. Which made God seem even more real.
   

I didn't expect God to have been this specific. It could have been any word in the world, but it was Music that God chose to give to me. Like, wow. It was both reassuring as well as a sort of a confirmation at the same time with regards to which area I should serve in. (I spoke to Wendy about this... and she said to follow my heart, and go audition for it when the opportunity arises. That way I can really be sure)

It's like God is telling me not to doubt Him, or doubt what he has blessed me with. This can be really freaky sometimes, when a single word can be so direct and yet mean so many things, answer so many questions I can't seem to find an answer to. That night, God felt so real, I thought I could reach out a hand and touch Him.

The third night was definitely the highlight of the camp for me. It was so overwhelming I can't even explain how I truly felt then. Strangely, it wasn't the guest speaker's sermons that stuck with me. I gained most from SP's message that God is good, gracious and righteous. Never will he let harm come upon is if it does not make us stronger in character and as a person.

God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good :)

MYOB - When do we draw the line?

People say, it's best not to poke your noses into others' business. Read: Mind your own business, or MYOB. In Singapore terms, it simply means not to be a kaypoh because others may not like it.

It is only natural for human beings to want to know more about what is going on around them, especially when it involves the people they know or care about. Take the school or workplace, for example. It may be a piece of juicy news (scandal, perhaps) or even a bit of information on a devastating event in someone's life. News spread fast, as observation of others' speech and actions eventually lead observers to make their own analysis and inferences, assuming that the subject did not give them a full account of their behaviour and actions. Humans just need to know about what is going on, even if it doesn't concern them at all.

And why does it (people's own inferences) spread? Well... the stimulation of discussion between and among individuals help to bond them together, maybe? There's also the need to hear what others' opinions may be, and to contribute their own to the story.

Of course, humans' need to know is subjective. People may be purely ignorant on current affairs of the country or world, and not bother to find out, out of sheer laziness (or bochup-ness). One explanation for this may be that such events are always happening, always changing, and it does not affect people's life directly. i.e. they are taking place far from home, where people cannot imagine themselves in those situations, or they simply cannot be bothered.

News is always jucier if you have to or happen to find out about them and draw your own conclusions. As mentioned above, this is usually discussed with other beings. When do we draw the line, though? When does such knowledge become gossip, and eventually, betrayal of friendship? Something may be entrusted to someone but that someone just HAS to share it, to hear another person's opinion with regards to that matter. Is there such a thing as knowing to much?

SHeesh, I wanna do up an essay with lots and lots of rhetorical questions (the exact thing my GP teacher said to avoid) but I'm just typing whatever comes to my mind, which is not the least bit coherent! AND my laptop battery is running low, it's gonna blow soon.

Very unfortunately

It happens all the time.. It has happened way too many times...

I wish this would numb it or make me immune to it, but no, it's always the same piercing knowledge that a particular situation would never take place. It's always the same scenario, and yet I fall prey to it.

Why can't I learn my lesson??? Don't place too much hope, because when the disappointment comes, I will not be able to bear it. And this is happening all over again.

I have a weak heart. The disappointment that accompanies the hopes raised in vain does nothing to sooth the ache. Now I truly understand why people say "my heart is bleeding". I can't find another way to describe it.

I also know why people say, ignorance is bliss.

But is it better to be blinded and to go on hoping in vain, or to know about something and face it's implications? I really don't know which is better. I guess this also depends on the context of the situation. In my case, I would choose....neither. Just MOVE ON, MAN! Urgh.

Again, this is just one of the moments. Which will pass. I pray that it will pass quickly, and leave me in peace.

One step closer to NTU...

Goodbye, FASS!! Even though I felt a sudden urge to do Social Work on Saturday...

Prayer is really powerful.

I dreaded work so much this morning (because of some mistakes I made + inefficiency in my response to instructions that resulted in a not very happy boss as expressed in an email), I had no idea how I was going to pull through the day, let alone the week and the weeks to come (6 more). But then I prayed hard, and left it to God to set things right for me, just doing my best and with a little more focus in my work today. And all ended well, with me feeling really high after ASK workshop and so I rewarded myself with a cup of KOI bubble tea at Chinatown with Felicia :D Not to mention, my boss even bought my partner and I a cup of soya bean drink (which I spilled, by the way.. CLUMSY) and beancurd this morning.

Those mistakes and slightly harsh words did make a strong impact on me I guess. Now I put in triple the effort to avoid them. More tiring, but higher satisfaction level.

I am always and will always be awed by how God can help me make a 180deg turn within such a short time. In this case, it would be my mood today... which, strangely, spurs me on to perform better the next day, and the next, and the next. .........


In the end, just to hear You say, "Well done".

Glad to be appreciated :) Nothing can be more satisfying than hearing 'Thank You' after you've done your best.

-----

Today's my first day with my new team.

My Events heads told me the wrong thing -.- I'll be under another head, not the supposedly scarier one. hahaha. I'm more or less okay with my new team. So far. Still adapting.

Still digesting the fact that I won't be at events ever again.

Change of Setting

Tomorrow will be my last time running events with my Events Team.

Come Monday, I will be working under a different department, one which I have been perceiving as.....hell. Under the worst boss any temp could have in the company, or so I've gathered. I may be wrong.

When 2 of the heads in my team broke the news to me today, I was just too stunned for words. After that, I couldn't speak without stammering, couldn't see with tears blurring my vision.

(I think I broke down like 4-5 times this afternoon, it was that bad)

Now I think that maybe God arranged this for some divine reason unknown to me. Why else would He make them transfer me over? So that I can voice out for the rest? Opportunities for growth? Make me more confident over the many phone calls to come? I don't know. All I know is that I'm leaving my team of very sweet and welfarish (no such word, I know) and fun-loving people.

:(


Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart; as working for the Lord, not for men.
Colossians 3:23

THANK GOD!!

THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

Okay firstly, I would like to thank God for giving me a place in uni. I just got my letter from NTU (psychology).

Secondly, I would like to apologise to my friends and colleagues for all the nonsense and -uhm- negative energy I've been emitting, if there's such a thing.

Omg omg omg can't be happier now :D

Fell down? Pick yourself up again! It's not the end yet!

Repost: Complete by Parachute Band

Here I am, oh God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart
I offer up my life

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again


So i lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And I pray I will hold on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in you

Complete - Parachute Band

--

This song speaks so, so much. Many times I feel that singing/listening to worship songs can better express how I feel than having my thoughts penned down in words. There's always a song that can fit and represent what I want to tell God. This time, it's about surrendering my fears of not getting a letter from the local universities. It haunts me sometimes.


Just another thought...

In the bible, it says that Jesus will come again when we least expect it (something along that line). I don't think the second coming will be during the next hundred years or so because, well, everyone's just so aware and hyped up about it. So this is when everyone's gearing up for it, right? This just supports my opinion, that the world will come to an end anytime soon, even though the increased frequencies of tectonic activities are scaring the hell (pardon me) out of everyone.

Also, even if the end times thingy were to happen in the next millennium, we should still live like it's coming tomorrow, and continue to evangelise. Why? Because people die every day, every hour, every minute. Somewhere in the world right now, someone is dying. And what are the chances of that someone not knowing who Jesus is, or knowing of but had refused to accept Him as God? I'd say it's pretty high... So as long as there is someone out there who has yet to give his/her life to Jesus, we should preach like it's judgement day tomorrow. After all, it is a commandment, in the Great Commission. End times or not, it's not a choice we can make. It's a requirement.

I'm starting to get worried...

I have not received any letter of acceptance from the local universities.

When I mentioned SIM to my mum, she reacted by scolding me for not applying for SMU. But the thing is, given my character/personality, SMU is really NOT me. I am not vocal. I will not pass the assessments, let alone the interview. That's for sure.

Maybe I should just work till next year and save up for education at a private university. I don't know.

Hair

Wondering what I should do about my hair...

I just cut my fringe today for $3 :) It was getting too long.

Colour it? Soft rebond it? Perm it? Highlight it? My hair now is kinda dull.

I need a hair consultant! Haha.


Also need to do some research on the causes of menstrual cramps, and why some women get them while others don't. Better still, just ask any aspiring gynecology friend to explain these to me. As of now, I don't know of any of such friends. I could ask Jin Lin (who will be studying medicine in Australia) to read up on these for me though.

Oh, the benefits of having doctor-to-be friends when you're lazy to do your own reading.


Rev Raymond Sim's sermon was very clear and straightforward today :) For once, my mind did not drift elsewhere but remained focused on the Word. Oh my. I really need to stop letting my mind wander during sermons (and cell discussions too, sometimes). *guilty*

Deeply Troubled

Tell me, which idiot sheds tears when a colleague's contract ends?

I wanted to avoid all possible eye contact and conversation today, thinking that it would be easier for me to bear with it. It seems that I was oh-so-terribly wrong.

My desk is so messy right now and yet I don't have the slightest urge to tidy it up. I'm just not in the right state to face anyone right now :(

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

This sounds stupid, like totally dumb, but I feel like just locking myself up in an empty room.

I don't want to talk to anyone.

Shit. I feel like breaking down.

Troubled

When you know that all your efforts would be futile, and you have to go through all that frustration and disappointment which will just build up to nothing, do you still continue to give yourself the green light?

Would you regret even initiating it or console yourself by thinking that at least you tried and gave your best shot (but just couldn't change the outcome)? Even when the probability of it turning around is almost zero?

What would you have done if you were placed in a situation as such? Would it be wiser to have applied the cost-benefit analysis as with economic decisions?


Why am I even doing this?

But God sees the heart so His opinion should be the only one that REALLY counts right? Or am I simply using this approach to console myself again?

Edited 2:40AM, 10 April
All turned out well in the end, thank God :)

That aside, on a completely different note.........

I think I only realise how much someone means to me until that someone leaves.

Time stops for no man. The time has come and I'm not even prepared for that particular farewell ): What does this mean for me? Well the full impact of it is being felt now, tonight, like boomz. (no joke ok) It's kind of depressing. I'm so tempted to express this directly, physically, but urgh I can't. (don't know what i'm saying? no worries. no sex can already)

My friend, you will be dearly missed. What am I to do without you?

(no one died by the way)

(this wasn't supposed to sound like a joke)

Troytees Collection 32

Blog/Online shopping.

It's addictive, no joke about this! Friends who know me well will know that. hehe.

One must make careful decisions regarding which blogshop to buy from, what items to get (etc.) though. Like for me after buying from ohvola twice I realised I really didn't want to buy anymore stuff from there because of the material, and I think it's overpriced. It's just my opinion. The second top I bought from there was defected, in the sense that the proportions were wrong and the buttons were off-centre when worn.

Sweetz Eighteen is a no-no too. QC fail. Waste my money.

Bought the most items from Hollyhoque :) They have really pretty stuff and their clothes are of good quality! Mainly because, I would think, that their items are self-manufactured. They have their own label. Very satisfied with all my tops and dresses I've bought so far, and I'm still awaiting the arrival of my Lace Insert Satin Dress in Blue and my Swiss Cottage Sweetheart Dress (Violet) backorders! Hollyhoque is by far my favourite place to online shop :)

Bonitochico is good too, in terms of quality of materials used and pricing. I would say it's worth the money. BC receives a thumbs up from me for the same reason I gave a thumbs up to Hollyhoque! Horray for blogshops with their own labels! However, due to it's popularity with local ladies and its need to limit the number of pieces for each design to ensure exclusivity, some clothes may become sold out within minutes into the launch. You really have to be fast and make up your mind within a minute of the launch to secure your piece.

Actually, I wanted to post pictures of some pieces I'm eyeing from Troytees, but then I just ended up ranting about the other blogshops -.- Ok so here goes.


Modest Ribbon Capsleeve Dress - $27
I LIKE I LIKE I LIKE

Elegant Sheen Dress - $27

Sweet Delicate Knit Hoodie - $27

I wanttttttttttttt!

But I wont buy because I need more tops than dresses actually. Due to the nature of my work. I only wear dresses when there are no events to run for the day. I wear my corporate tee for the entire day if I'm down for events both in the morning and afternoon. And I wear some other top if I have an event either in the morning or afternoon, so that I can change in/out of my corporate t-shirt.

Okay I will buy one item from above if any of them are still available by the time I get my salary next week! (highly doubt there'll still be stocks by then though)

As of now, my policy when buying stuff online is that the items MUST be self-manufactured by the shop and NOT sourced from overseas (like a particular country that's flooded with red people now) because of the drastic difference in material. There may be exceptions though... but I've not decided on how they should be made yet. Oh and I'm not sure if Troytees designs their own clothes or gets them from somewhere else. But I'll never know how good they are until I try buying from them right :-)

Fun-O-Rama XX

Went back to AC yesterday for Fun-O-Rama!! And armed with $50 worth of coupons -_-

Before that, Victoria, Pei Yan, Amelia and myself had dim sum lunch at Chinatown :D Which I'd say was pretty worth the money since the food was good and our tummies were really stretched after the meal...

There were A LOT of JC students at Buona Vista MRT for who-knows-what reason. I don't think they were all going/had gone for Fun-O-Rama, though. But there was a LONG trail of people walking towards the school, along the stretch of (currently in construction) condos. Or at least it seemed like the whole world was heading to ACJC. hahaha.

Once there, we met up with Jenisse Sheena and Tong. But then split up again cos' PY and I happened to see Jin Lin there, who ended up tagging along with us for the rest of the afternoon. We didn't play any games (PY & I refused to). Spent all our coupons on AC merchandise and food! Sat at LT3 - SCONE's cafe for the day - for a long time too, watching the performances :) But mainly to catch PY's classmates Chee and Lester's item.

What I bought:
1. 2 cups of Swensen's ice-cream (choc and strawberry, omg right)
2. Wanton
3. some mixed fruit drink
4. AC UMBRELLA!!! (really needed a new umbrella! after mine got overturned...)
5. cool mouse which lights up
6. 3 loaves of Gardenia bread for $2 (Jin Lin kept laughing at me and he told Brian abt this who joined in to laugh at me too. Why cannot buy cheap bread?!!)
7. (donated $5)

Hahah okay didn't really buy a lot of food cos' of the full dim sum lunch. It was, well, just like any other carnival. Hot, noisy, crowded, squeeze like mad at the void deck and outside the hall and near the walkway to the canteen. And lots of familiar faces of course :) Ms Too (CCA teacher) said the staff room is open for open house every 2 years HAHA. Cos' of all the Old Boys and Girls walking in and out with/looking for their teachers. I didn't manage to talk to Mdm Tham (my bio teacher who gave weekly consultations) cos' she was being swarmed with ex-students.

I'm a happy girl cos' I got a new umbrella and mouse and said hi to numerous friends today and (together with PY) managed to drag Jin Lin into playing for Encore this year!

How can Jerviel not be at 18/3 Hotel IP??? He's Event OIC! I will die under the other OIC who's gonna stand-in for him!!!!!! Omg ttm.

): ): ): ): ): ): ):

Watch yourself.

You're getting on my nerves. Don't test me.

A level results - the aftermath

Dear Lord,
Please show me the way.

--
I'm thankful for my colleagues - mainly the perm staff - who were there to offer their support just before I left the office yesterday, and after the collection of the slip.

I'm really thankful for my current cell group; they're all very nice and encouraging about the results. I felt so crushed I thought I'd need deliverance or something. I'd still be mega depressed now if not for their prayers and encouragements and advice from their own life stories. It does help that they've been through this and can offer their own experiences and learning points to help the fresh A levelers and would-be undergraduates. Of course I"m thankful for my ex-leaders who, I believe, were praying for us too.
...

--

It just makes me wonder...

In times like this, do students turn to religion to deceive themselves in the hope of thinking that everything would be fine (somewhat like running away from reality) or because they truly believe in what their god can or would do for them? In short, is it faith that pulls them through...or are they merely psychoing themselves?

Some pray harder, make more offerings, do more good deeds, etc. I think doing these will ease their minds, make them feel better about themselves.

I can't really think coherently now, and am thus unable to generate a decent blog post/essay.

I'm not ruling out psychology as a major, though. Yay, arts/humanities/social sciences.

This feels like a test of my faith.
When I don't get my desired results, will I still continue to trust God wholeheartedly, and seek His counsel, follow the path He has laid out for me? (default answer: yes)
As of now, I can't see the future at all. It's a blur and I don't see no path. Yet.

Please be more understanding if I do not reply tags/messages/answer calls, as stated on my current MSN PM. :)

---

You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name

Doomz day soon

I've said this before, but can never emphasise this enough.

Time flies.

My heart is racing, my forehead is wrinkled. I can't stop frowning. I want time to stop so that I will never have to receive my A level results.

*rolls eyes*. How childish, to think that way.

But sometimes that's what I really just want to do. Yeah, I know, life goes on, but, !@#$%^&*( oh man I just wanna sleep and never wake up. Dream dream dream and never stop dreaming. Don't wake up so that I can keep swimming in my little perfect world.

I'm not making any sense. I need to sleep.

The battle has been won, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Whatever I see before me tomorrow will be the product of my (non-existing) hard work in 2008-2009.

I want to blog, but I don't know WHAT to blog about.

This year's CNY was like any other year, nothing special ...

I like working at e2i. :) I like working under Events, to be more specific. Cos' I get to do OT (read: more money) and I'm not desk-bound unless I have nothing to do (like now, which is why I'm blogging). There's a retreat tomorrow and we temps are going for it too. The Events Team is really nice, they absorbed a large portion of the cost so that we don't have to pay so much. (cos well, we earn a lot lesser than they do).

The guys (temps) are leaving next Friday. All 4 of them. Why do their contracts end on the same day?? ): ): It's nice to have some males around sometimes. I'm being frank here.

Working at e2i has made me more determined to brush up on my Mandarin. Haha is that good or what.

My bed is calling out to me. Roar.

Dear Aunty Daphne

Dear Auntie Daphne,

You're free from all pain now. Your body looks so peaceful, you look just like Snow White waiting for her prince to come. But I know that your Prince (of peace) has already come for you, and never again will you worry, never again will your forehead be creased to show signs of distress. I wonder how it feels like to be in heaven...? Where all is peaceful and joyful?

I wish I could tell you how sorry I am for not visiting you when your soul was still around. I wish I could tell you how much I regret not being there to hold your hand and tell you that I love you. It's too late now, you won't see this. I thought there would be time, that when God brought you out of ICU He'd let you live with Uncle Chee Keong for decades to come.Who knew what plans He'd have? I didn't even get to say goodbye!

Aunty Daphne, you're a strong woman. You didn't blame God or letting the cancer get to you. You were ever grateful to God for giving you the extra time to be here with the ones you love after you left the care of nurses at Mt. Alvernia hospital. And of course for uncle CK who always stayed by your side. We all love you very much, you know? This separation's gonna take awhile to sink in, but we all know you won't want to see us like this. My sis is like an empty shell too, getting restless and everything...

I'm not gonna cry, I'm not. I know God has better plans for you up there... It was out of mercy that He stopped you from suffering, I know that too. And because of these, I know there should be no reason to cry...

Thanksgiving - Job

(Something I should have completed and published long ago, but posted only now because of. Well. My mood :) )

This will be my 666th post. Gosh what a number. Not that I'm superstitious or anything, but 666 is so inappropriate for a thanksgiving post!

God has showered me with blessings these 2 weeks (hasn't He always?). Great way to start the year!

I don't feel like typing in prose form, not really. But I think I'll end up doing so, somehow.


1. I got my current job through Recruit Express, a recruitment agency.

The thing about that is, I've read a forum thread online with PAGES and PAGES of complaints from unhappy candidates who applied with RE. Things like the agent made them go down to the office for nothing, agent and applicant quarreled over the phone, agent and interviewer gave different job scopes and salary, agent didn't bother to call applicant back after unsuccessful interview etc. It's endless. I tried to read all of them but I got bored and gave up eventually.

I'm just REALLY thankful that my consultant wasn't anything like these unfortunate people (who posted on that thread) described. He was patient with me (I asked lame qns and kept asking him to repeat what he just said - "har? sorry can repeat again? can slow down?"), he called me several times a day for about a week (didn't abandon my case that fast), only asked me to go down to the office to fill up the application form and to sign the contract (i.e. only when necessary) etc.


2. Jenisse was supposed to get this job, not me.

But by God's grace, this job went to me because Jen rejected this job because she preferred the job at the Ministry of Law. Geddit?? They interviewed 8 people for this 2 temp positions under the events department at e2i, and one of them actually went to Jenisse. The other went to May, whom I'm working closely with now. If not because she opted not to work here, I would not be here! But I still think it's by God's grace that I'm at e2i. I mean, can you think of another reason why this can work out so well?

My agent actually called me up on the day of the interview to say it was not a success (major disappointment then but i thought, don't give up lah keep searching), called again to recommend my CV over to a Canadian MNC insurance company (which I approved - duh, desperate!), and called the third time that day to say "e2i want to employ you leh!!!". My voice did not betray my emotions at that time. I bet I sounded bored, haha. The next day, when I went down to sign the contract, he confirmed my suspicions that the job went to me (only) because Jen rejected it


3. Sheena also went for the same interview.

Though she did not get THIS job, again it is by God's grace that she's here and we are working under the same company. Thing is, the interviewer (who is now my supervisor/in-charge) KIV-ed her for other positions under other departments. So when she was called down for another interview, it wasn't really an interview but more of to show her around and tell her what she'll be doing. That day when she SMSed to say she was at e2i for another interview I was totally OVER THE MOON! When one door closed for her, another opened, and both doors lead to the same place, just a different room.

So here she is, working under the same company, sitting in the same temp staff room as me :) How cool is that, to have your own (ex-)classmate working under the same roof as you??



God is really amazing. Look at the way He worked things out for me when I put my trust in Him. Though I admit I did get whiny over being unemployed during my 2 weeks of doing nothing. But isn't that human nature? Still.. the colleagues... the other temps here... the events team... I thank God that He has blessed me with these wonderful people whom I will be working with for the next 5 months and 2 weeks. I can't imagine working with any other people. And my job is meaningful because of what my company does, that is, to provide aid to the unemployed. That means providing training and opportunities :)

During my second week into the job, I was involved in 3 offsite events. Toa Payoh, Yishun, and Bras Basah. O_O Again, I thank God that I'm in the events team and not like, call centre or other departments. I look at what the other temps here are doing and well, it makes me even more grateful that I'm not placed in other departments... though initially I wanted to do their very ADMIN kind of job(s). Cos' being on your feet at events really beats sitting at your desk for 8.5 hours a day. Trust me, it does.

And, how often do you get a job after just one interview???

God is good. God is good. I can't emphasise that enough. God is good.

HIRE ME! HIRE ME!

WHY DOESN'T ANY COMPANY WANNA HIRE ME!

Job-searching is tiring. And I'm only looking for a temp job!

New environment, new friends/colleagues, it's gonna be pretty scary for a newbie like me. I've never worked before! But still...

THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Hello, e2i! 6 months at Redhill. Oh my.

help

One thing I want to do this year is to be of more help to the people around me. Not be a pain in the ass.

It feels great to know how a simple act may go a long way to help someone else :)

For example.

Joel Lim's MSN nick had been stagnant as "anyone noes of a good math or chem tutor?" for more than a month. I wanted to introduce my old math tutor to him, but always felt 'lazy' to do so. I finally told Joel about Ryan, blah blah blah and 2-3 days later Joel sent me a message saying he just had tuition. Then of course he changed his nick. "YAY!!! Got Maths Tuition!!!".. I should have done this earlier though, didn't know he has a paper on the first day of school next week. Still, I'm glad I didn't leave him to hunt for his own private tutors.

It's very tempting to take the credit and say something like, "If I didn't tell Joel about Ryan, he probably would fail his supp paper." Uh uh. I know deep inside that it's more than that. If God hadn't prompted me to do something about this, he would still be struggling at this time! So the glory still goes to Him (:


Thank God also that my phone did not break down when the representatives from different job agencies called me! Sometimes when I'm on the phone with people, the other party would not be able to hear my voice whereas I still hear them. So it's like they're going "hello? hellooooo??" but what they hear is silence. hmmm. I really must take better care of my phone and stop being clumsy with it.

Conformity, or deviation?

Quick updates

Quick updates before the year ends. Which will be very soon.

ACJC Seniors' Night 2009.

I really pity my bank account. (the money actually comes from my mom...) The total amout spent on hair, makeup, dress, heels, bra, prom ticket etc is SCARY. I dare not calculate the final and exact amount. But my mom says it's okay since it's once-in-a-lifetime. So that means I shouldn't feel so bad about spending so much right?

No photos (they're all on Facebook). I didn't bring my camera, don't ask why. Many thanks to Amelia for letting me use hers, thanks also to Dixin for opening up her house for prom prep! (:

Food was good, but I didn't really get to enjoy it cos' my tummy protested after a few courses and I had to skip some of them. My table 20 was mostly empty except when the yam ring was served -.- What else do you expect from prom? People don't really care about the food, what they want is to take photos. More photos. And yet more photos. I couldn't eat in peace because

1. I didn't want to look like the only glutton eating at the table when everyone else was dispersed around the ballroom and posing for photos
2. When I actually got to eat without feeling paiseh, meaning at least 2 of my table mates were present, other friends would come and either ask me to help them take photos, or take one with them.

Hahah sounds bad right. Actually no, it was a velly grand way to end off our 2 years in ACJC. I'm glad I went for it because it's kind of like the last gathering for the class of 2009.... before the release of the A level results. A significant event I wouldn't want to miss, so that means I had to put aside my timidity, stop feeling inferior, SMILE and act normal. That really made things a lot easier.

Still trying to get over the fact that never again will I study on campus, in the void deck with all the other void deck muggers - the noise polluters and the quiet ones. Been so used to studying there and seeing them around, such that I'm not ready to end off my pre-university life cos' it's hard to believe I'll never see them again. Ahhh. We're like one big family that's being pulled apart.


Vietnam trip with family

My dad drove to Shangri-La to pick me up so that I could go home and (continue to) pack my luggage. No post-prom ): Daddy got free air tickets to Vietnam, including return tickets, so that explains why my family went there. SIA rocks. Service, comfort, entertainment, everything! It makes the budget airlines look like nothing in comparison O_O but that's why it's called BUDGET right.

Shopping at the market (both day and night) was the main highlight of this trip. The shirts and jeans were so cheap it was unbelievable. I mean, we bought 4 pairs of jeans from this shop and it cost only about S$28 in total? You will never see this in Singapore! Most of their products sold - apart from the souvenirs - were imitation goods that looked real enough to pass off as originals. What gave maximum consumer surplus was the price and quality of the goods :D

This trip was an eye-opener.

There were many on the streets who tried to sell tissue packets, portable fans and stuff, as well as those who carried sleeping babies or toddlers and asked for money.. when we bought tissue from one woman, more would come, and we just had to shake our heads politlely whenever they came up to us tourists to ask for money. It makes me wonder how many of the children were actually borrowd... I read about cases of people loaning their kids to others to be used as 'tools' to gain sympathy... Made me wonder if the kids were actually drugged cos they always appeared to be sleeping... sometimes these thoughts hinder me from feeling for these people, and compassion becomes replaced with disgust. I prayed instead that God will help me to love them and be thankful for the many blessings I have such that I do not have to go through life the way they do..

Their roads. It came as a shock to me, when I first saw how their roads were like. There were so few traffic lights it amazed me that there were no traffic accidents (none that my family witnessed, at least) and that motorists and pedestrians could actually live in harmony with each other. Just that they sounded their horns a lot. Pedestrians crossed roads (at the 'zebra' crossings) when they needed to, and the motorists would slow down and/or drive to their right or left to avoid them. This is usually accompanied by the sounding of horns. duh. Crossing their roads made me think of the mission trip to Bandah Aceh in 2007.. only more hair-raising and thrilling. I actually could cross their roads with ease at the end of 3 days.

Oh, and their motorists actually wear masks. Most of them. I mean, those who ride bikes. Cuz the air is so polluted it becomes unbearable.

The Vietnamese, from what I observed, are happy-go-lucky people. They don't have much to worry about, they don't curse their government, they really love their country. When their soccer team won at the SEA games, people went wild on the roads, bikers zoomed past with their pillion riders waving their flags cheering at the top of their lungs. I would have thought it was their national day or something, if not for the night market stall owners who told us about their victory over Cambodia ( i think).

Sights like these, you will never see in Singapore.

--

When a Catholic tells you he wants to change church, and he prefers Christianity because "the Christian concept sounds way better than the Catholics ... as in their way of doing stuff," and you don't know much about the way their religion works, you still invite him to church right? Cos' I know God doesn't reject anyone, "He will take them all."

This Catholic is a friend whom I'm not very close to. He sounds like he has backslided. He is someone I'd never expected or thought of inviting to church, cos' he's just an ex-classmate from Chinese class. But this also seems like God is placing here, leading him to talk to me about this aspect of his own life (that I never thought I'd hear about), he can be led back to Christ. I wonder. It's like I don't even have to search my entourage and target a few, cos' right now there's one who appeared before me on his own accord.

Dear God, please grant me the wisdom to say the right things to him, and give me the words to use that may impact him so that he may say 'yes' to You...

it's been long since I last felt a tug or a burden to truly 'impact one.' this comes a little late bue well, better late than never.

RAMBLINGS

WASSUP WITH TPJC'S BIO PAPER 1 MAN!! So tough! ): I give up.

Next!

Passi(t)on - LSBC Youth Camp 2009

What made Passiton different from past youth camps was

1. We had an entire day dedicated to games.

2. The Prophetic Act after the Holy Spirit Night on the second day, which felt very much like we were going for a battle against the unseen forces, to break the barriers that may hinder us from carrying out the work for God.

3. YA_18 was REALLY bonded together. Those 3 days were far more effective in bringing out a more united batch of 18yos, as compared to any other zonal bonding we've had so far.
The comm made the right choice by putting Keng Ling and Arathi into group Q, and shifting Joshua, Xi Ying, Clarissa and Cheryl into group R. We would otherwise (still) have been just Joe&WanHui's cell, and Kara's cell instead of YA_18 by the end of the camp.

4. YA_18 got all the 'sai kang' jobs (in Xi Ying's words :P) such as cleaning the toilets after lights out on the first night and cleaning up the MPH, dining hall and atrium on the second night, etc. But I guess what was commendable was that no one complained or argued about it :)

5. There was no fixed camp speaker for this camp. (we usually have a pastor from another church to speak at our camps, am I not right?)
When it comes to Community Penetration (CP) work, I think LSBC's own pastors can do the job equally well. Evidently, given the level of enthusiasm observed during CP on the seconday.

6. The timing of this camp. I still have one more A level paper which I have yet to tackle. I faced slight resistance from my parents (esp. my mum) when I made the decision to sign up for camp. She even 'reminded' me quite harshly that the A levels have not ended and that I was being "very daring" to go for the camp. I replied simply, "My paper is on Thursday. If others have a paper on Monday, right after the camp, and they can still honour God by going for it, I don't see why I can't do the same." Well I guess she had nothing to say about that.


That's a very brief summary of what happened, and what made Passiton stand out from other camps. I NEED TO GET BACK TO BIOLOGY so, byebye!

Wants

I want!!

it's here

Okay, this is it.

IT'S HERE, MAN!!!!!!!

Breathe. Or that panic attack will come again and I can say bye bye to NTU or NUS in 2010 and hi to ACJC and funorama. Omg no way not another year of econs geog bio math gp. Thankkewvellymuch.

Today I sat at macs for more than 12 hours. horray.

Thanks friends for all your encouraging smses, tags and wall posts:) I'm only replying smses, sorry! and will only use my laptop for charging my mp3 player or to check the LMS for additional revision resources.

Goodbye, world. See you on December 3rd. or.... in heaven. HAHA ok i'm kidding. bye. Anyone interested in sitting at macs next Sunday from 9am to 11pm please let me know via SMS, thanks!

haha, like anyone would want to be as retarded as me.

ok bye.

this is bad. i sound like i'm talking to myself. it's the exams, i promise!!

Okay. The bomb is going off any moment now. And there's still SO much that has not been done, so much that needs to be done.

I really am not prepared. I don't know how I'm going to do this. Yes, I'm casting my cares on Him, but the mere thought of the A levels just gives me the creeps.

Andrew's mum dropped me off at Serangoon MRT just now. I was supposed to take the train towards Punggol, but I blindly boarded the train towards Harbour Front, and had to alight at Potong Pasir to take the other train back to Kovan. What was I thinking...

No time, no time ):

At 10pm earlier I walked out not with Esther or Rayner(??) or by myself or just Amelia or any of the regulars who remain in school to study till we get chased out. I walked out with 5 other classmates and Ammar. Like, wow, the most unlikely group of people! It was my first time seeing Jenisse, Andrew and Matthew stay till 10pm. Anyway, it's been a long time since I last walked out of school smiling and laughing so much. So that felt good (: Just wonder if they're all going to start adopting my daily mug-in-school routine.

Amelia and I went for the MEP recital by the J2 students. I kinda dragged her there =/
I think the performers could have done wayyyyyyy better. Still, good job! Especially to Chowder and Clairebear! (: Andrew pointed out that I go for almost every MEP concert/recital. hahaha at least this time it was free.

What's stuck in my head - You Belong With Me (Taylor Swift)

You're on the phone with your girlfriend,she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
Cos' she doesn't get your humour like I do

I'm in my room it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never get your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favourite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

Things don't always turn out the way you want to

It was my first time stepping into an ICU ward. I didn't really like the feel of it, but I don't regret being there. Too many chances for me to visit Aunty Daphne at home have slipped by, and each time my family went without me, my mum said she'd ask for me. It was always the same answer, 'Joyce is out studying'. Once, my mum lied that I was studying when I was with my friends at some concert or cell bonding or some other gathering, I can't remember. It was the least I could do less than 6 hours ago, appear by the side of her bed as she lay sedated...

I love you, Aunty Daphne, we all do. I'm so sorry for not doing what I wanted to do when you were still able to walk around at home, play with your dogs, forward inspiring emails and make status comments on Facebook. Hang in there, please, I know you're strong. For Uncle CK, for your loved ones. Don't go. Please.


Note to self: always carry a packet of tissues.

young? in what sense?

I just remembered a remark you made last Sunday which really pissed me off. I was merely concerned about her, and you just had to say, "you're still young lah".

Excuse me, I believe I am of the same age as she is. One and a half months difference isn't very significant, is it? And if you're talking about level of maturity, I'm not going to comment on how mature I think I am, but please know that my stand on the issue of __________ity shares a zero correlation with my concern of how she is coping. Just because I have strong convictions and beliefs that make me different from the typical youth of today, this does not mean that I am made less mature as compared to the others. That is, other youths my age.

Come to think of it, I still feel mad about this. I promise you that you will have no knowledge of the details of my life from now on, besides my grades, maybe. Cos' you don't have a right to know, and why would you want to, since my life is so mundane and so much less exciting than others', right? And neither will I ask you how she's doing, I may as well go ask her myself. Or, I could put it another way - since she already has backup, all sharing the same views, I think I can take my leave and dissolve from her life or risk being viewed as nothing but a busybody. Not that I actually care about what others may think... Well maybe I do. Call me sensitive.

Urgh.


(just in case anyone's planning to comment on this post... don't do it. time heals all wounds anyway. it won't be long before mine gets healed. just feeling a bit angsty of late.)

Things don't always turn out the way you want to

I don't know what's wrong with me. Don't tell me there's nothing, cos' there is something. I want to be a hermit and hide myself from the world, although one may say it's ironic that I say this while blogging on the World Wide Web. This phase will pass. If not soon, then later.


Take me now, way beyond the veil...
Where I can see You
Where I can see You, Jesus
Hold me now within Your arms of love
I wanna be with You
I wanna be with You

lao peng you

I saw Kenneth Gan at Bishan library today!! hehe, so happy to see an old face :) Man I really miss my very first OG from SRJC, Cetus 4!!!

Turned 18 on 18 August (:

Yes, the prelims have started... and we're right in the middle of it.



My birthday happened to fall on the second day of prelims, when everyone had math and econs papers. Instead of waking up full of dread for what was to come that day, I woke up reading "happy birthdays" on my phone. Good start, I figured.

Then I got to school, and classmates were saying HB to me. I thought, hey, how did they know? but thanked them nontheless. There were gifts and cards from Claire Sheena and Janet Lydia LiLin Santi, thanks a lot girls ((: Pei Yan handed me this large red vanguard with lots of signatures and little notes written about how I'm 'lucky' to have my 18th birthday during the prelims. She actually took pains to mass SMS CO members and some other friends to gather and pen these down the day before. Amelia and Sheena and Claire deserve credit too for trying to get more ppl to fill up the 'card' (knowing that my network isn't very wide...). I had to lug all the stuff around the sports complex and void deck the whole day. After the 2 papers for the day, there was THE cake *speechless, Amelia's idea* and then KFC dinner with the usual void deck muggers which I didn't pay for....

My dad picked me up at 10pm, I couldn't take the train cos' I'll look like an idiot with too many things to carry and probably have ended up dropping stuff everywhere I walked. And so this was waiting for me at home...
No, no, the cake wasn't on fire, it's just some camera effects. haha. My family actually waited for me to come home.. and that was the second cake of the day.

I feel bad for all the precious mugging time lost by my dear schoolmates as they took time off to DO something for me, especially a certain few who went great lengths to make this special, for injecting some life and joy on a gloomy day where I believe the whole cohort had to sit for a paper or two. and for my family for waiting for me till what, nearly 11pm..? All these efforts are very very much appreciated, I don't know how else to thank the people who made that day a day to remember.


Meet the Rabbit and the Rat. People who have seen Pei Yan and I studying together would have seen these two too. Impossible to miss! Just for self-amusement, eighteen-year-olds need such toys too. It's our way of de-stressing, not playing with frisbees like what many choose to do..


Yes, I've been staying in school till ten daily...
With me at the void deck are the councilors (33rds), some other familiar faces (one of them being James Low's brother, yeah staying at 231 but we dont talk), some sconers, Amelia, and my bio classmates from 2SC3. I really thank God for the friends whom I mug with (Amelia Jane Dixin Ammar Tims Esther and sometimes JiaEn Rebecca Daryl(who doesnt stay late)) cos' having them around is like having a third family where we offer moral support to one another as we (TRY to) study through the night till the security guard chases the whole crowd away at 10pm. Definitely beats studying alone as I had planned to do, even if it meant I had to face other J2s I didn't know and watch them so comfortable and at ease with the company they have, only to realise I'm on my own. Well, that didn't happen cos' God provided my bio classmates (: What more can I say?


It's a blessing to be here in this college. It's a blessing to know that God supplies all our needs, even wants. But to be greedy? Clearly, that's not an option. (must. stop. slacking. and. FOCUS. and. read. my. bible. and. pray.)

General Issues

Culture

Globalisation has made our world more compact, more integrated and inter-dependent. It is now easier to transport people, as well as their goods and services without incurring large costs of travel (unless, of course, one is trying to be Christopher Columbus). This ultimately brings about a homogenous culture, where other cultures unique to the many societies will be lost. That which has been passed down by past generations, shriveled and forgotten, while English becomes the universal language. This is already happening, what with America exporting its culture in so many areas. Its influence is not only seen in the area of politics and economics, but also in societies as American products and media content becomes inceasingly available. The fate of each society's own culture is very much dependent on the people's attitude towards their roots. We can't stop foreigners from integrating into our society and introducing their cultures. It's just not feasible, especially when economies are in need of foreign talent and like Singapore, open its doors to the world.

Soon, many will have serious identity crises, being part of an inceasingly homogenised world, yet unable to find a sense of belonging, to a culture they can call their own.
ok i dont know what to say because i'm not thinking hard enough. and i'm sleepy.


Should torture be legalised in your country for the same purpose in the war against terrorism?

I cannot provide a balanced argument for this one.

For one, the war against terrorism has been a long-lasting one, dating back to 2001 after the 911 attack on the World Trade Centre in the US. Terrorism itself has claimed thousands of lives (no doubt easing the pressure on Earth's natural resources, at the same time bringing about massive damage to the affected country's economy, even in more extreme cases altering their demographic structure). Can terrorism ever be justified?

To have a war against terrorism means that more lives would be taken, including that of innocent Afghans which had no part to play in the murderous schemes of terrorists. The Bush Administration received its fair share of criticism. What I find ironic is this - a war against terrorism is one that is intended to eradicate terrorism (correct?), yet being a war, as the name suggests, widespread terror is placed on the citizens whose countries are targets of the war. Trying to live normally with foreign troops strutting around neither eases the tension nor introduces peace to the society in question.

Torturing does instill fear in would-be terrorists, many of whom are youths being trained by the Al Qaeda and other sadists who see no value in the human life. Does it really help, now, or we discussing about a cycle of violence which leads to yet more destruction?

Torture is an extreme, violating human rights as it gets carried out. Well, there really is no war in Singapore. No war on terrorism, war against rape, against the dominance of one political party throughout Singapore's 44 years of independence. Singapore already has a decent legal system which administers justice to those who walk down that path. It would be unnecessary to introduce torture. Unless there is another Mas Selamat or Bin Laden in our midst, torture should not be legalised in this country. once again i aint making sense but i'm just trying to get into the hang of writing essays, yes, few hours before the exam, you hear me

Celebrity Activism

Some articles on celebrity activism...

Celebrity Activism: Publicity Stunt or Sincere Care?
The Limits of Celebrity Activism

(more to come)

Why so many celebrities are tagged with a cause, or few causes. Are they for real, or are they simply trying to act all goody and saint for personal glory?

Hartono

This is so disturbing. I was checking my email when I spotted one with the title with Nathan's name in it. Random blog post here. Totally random okay.

This person is someone we J2s frequently see in school, and he's my classmates' lit classmate (it's ok if you can't catch the ball). No, I don't know him personally but arts students see their fellow arts people all the time so you get the picture. I saw him carrying a this fashion bag around in school O_O wtheck right. Then there was this very unforgettable day whereby he made a joke out of himself over the PA system. He was leading the school in the national anthem and pledge that day.

"We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people. So as to achieve happiness, prosperity, and --"
*silence*
"We, the citizens of Singapore, pledge ourselves as one united people. So as to achieve --"

??????

Don't we all take the pledge every day? Since we were little kids? Everyone was amused by his blunder. Tsk, how could he be so blur as to forget the words to the pledge! But he's really your average JC student (at least that's what I think), it's hard to imagine him as a big shot out there.

Hello once again

We all know the H1N1 virus is spreading like fire (I wouldn't say wildfire). Here in Singapore, students hope(d) that the Government would extend the June vacation in view of the rising number of infected individuals, supposedly concerned about the well-being of fellow students who return to school after the long break and risk being exposed to the deadly virus. Hmmm.

A group was created on facebook, "A Petition to MOE to Extend the June Vacation due to the H1N1 Pandemic". Thousands have joined the group, and I am one of them, though I knew nothing would come out of this. I posted a question on the group's Wall.

Click to enlarge.
The creator of the group quoted from me, and her response is boxed in pink. Well... this whole thing is rendered useless because I don't think the Government actually does take something like this seriously. Anyway, too many lesson plans will be disrupted, and in the end it'll be the teachers who'd be panicking and thinking of how to make up for the one week of lost time. Much can be covered within that week.

I, however, have wasted 3 weeks and have not done much work this term break. Save me.

Significant events this month were CF camp, enCOre, and cell bonding. Yes, there's much to blog about. But I must return to my online lecture on Nervous Control......................

SYF CO JCs 2009

When the results were announced, most of us were just stoned. Only some cheered. Lukas jumped from his seat. Why? Even though we're AC's only performing arts group to sustain the award from 2007, there was no excitement among us. Was it because we knew that we could have done better? Regrets, perhaps? Or was it because we just did not like the fact that a quarter of the participating schools managed to attain the highest possible award, and we were given only the second best?

Okay, I have to admit. I was - as a certain someone in ACCO had said, everyone's hoping for a gold with honours in their hearts - one of them. I really thought luan yun fei could get us the honours. We could have, if not because we did not play the set piece well while on stage, we brought the tempo of the set piece down so it's different from other schools, xianyue's pitching was off.

Of course, there are other factors to consider. We had 6 to 7 inexperienced J1s in our midst, we brought scores up to stage - something very few or none of the schools did, we had the smallest orchestra out of the 16 schools that participated.

Of course, there's still much to cheer about. Gold for an orchestra this small does say something, doesn't it?


I know that I shouldn't be ranting so much.
Let AC Performing Artistes unite, stop all these elite CCA nonsense about this-cca-is-better-than-the-other and stuff. SYF 2009 has been a great challenge for all of us and no doubt the biggest heart attack in the history of AC's performing arts.

Oh, I've been wrong about that certain someone. . .
and now the lack of communication is annoying me.

So... it all boils down to TODAY.

We received the score for our choice piece last November or so. TODAY IS THE DAY. Will we bring Singapore Conference Hall down, or will we receive cheers and jeers from the way we carry ourselves on stage? I don't know. I have a feeling someone in the orchestra is gonna sneeze while playing or sneeze during the silent part. I'm thinking too much. This will be the J1s' and J2s' last SYF ever (unless the J1s retain in year 1) and well we definitely want to give our best.

Choir did the school proud by bringing the school a gold with honours yesterday.

Today, it's our turn.

Are we going to save the school's niche in performing arts? Cos' honestly, the other performing groups did not do too well this year...

God bless us as we present our pieces later on. Go AC Band! Go ACCO!

Updates - early/mid April

Project Work Results 2009: Well Done ACJC!

The release of the Project Work results for the present batch of JC2s on April 9, 2009 was a very happy event for the college. 100% of the cohort achieved A and B grades, with an astounding number of 84% of the candidates achieving distinctions. This well surpasses the national average. ACJC is very pleased with the performance of our students and we congratulate the students and their Supervising Tutors who have guided them through this journey.

In all we do, we want to thank God for His blessings and give Him all the glory for His continued faithfulness to the College. The Best is Yet To Be.

I quote that from my school's website :) Yup, it was a TERRIBLE journey.. 100% achieving As and Bs is really something, and the road towards this was a tough one, filled with obstacles of all sorts. J1s of 2009, give your best and BOND with your PW group. It'll make things a lot easier.


I got my term exam result slip not long ago. Passed everything - thank God - but no A grades either. Still far behind, still have a lot to catch up on :(

SYF is in less than 20 days now, and we've been practicing almost every day of the week. I have CCA from Monday to Sunday this week, CO every day except Friday (CF). Really hope this turns out well! Some re-imaging of the chinese orchestra needs to be done, and this competition will either reinforce our existence or send more 'boos' in our way. Perservere, people!

I've been rushing through my homework lately, that's baddddd. Today I spent my only break (1h20min long) with Andrew in the library, rushing through a geog essay. Early at 5.30am I managed to complete the last half of my GP essay. Yesterday I used up my break (again) to do another geog assignment. Seriously man. TIME MANAGEMENT!


Good Friday was a whole day out for me. Santi, Amelia, Andrew and myself spent five whole hours at Santi's house doing up a report on Germany's economy for an econs problem-based learning project (PBL). It felt like PW all over again, just that this time we were all furiously discussing and arguing over concepts learnt in school and their applications to Germany. That drained out a lot of brain juice. Five hours. Then Andrew's dad dropped Amelia and I at Serangoon Central cos' it was pouring.. Ame and I had lunch there (omg i'm hungry now), then we went separate ways.

Evoke Your Dreams was a really big event, I hadn't expected it to be that grand. I think the organisers did a good job (*pat pat*) and their efforts have definitely paid off! Judging from the crowd and their enthusiasm both during the finals and the post-party, I know that it was a success, and it's been a long time since the youth ministry has seen such a gigantic crowd for a church event, though that was non-evangelistic. I caught the first half of the competition finals, just the first half. Cos' I was helping out with the food and for the post-party and helping to sell them during the party itself. Again, it's been a long time since I got involved in church activities.

Those were the days... Where I had time on my sleeves, and I'd always make my appearance in church on weekdays either to study there or to help out with some minor tasks in the office. I enjoyed doing that. Now, however.... hoho. Look at how school has robbed me of my time. I don't even have enough time to sleep. I've cut down on time spent on blogging (it's evident from here). School hours are long, and breaks in between are short. Yawns.

Targets, expectations, deadlines, results, assessments

So near, yet so far....



I should stop letting my imagination run wild and head to bed.
Funny, how a single being can wipe you out like that.