educational hub

I love my teachers so much, I spent so much time preparing stuff for them.
Lets see.
Ten teachers. And no, I didn't prepare one for Miss Tan.
because she didn't give me my 0.1 mark needed to get another grade!
x9.9 leh!!!!!
No la it's not because of that.
x is a number ranging from 5 to 9.

Can SOMEONE just submit the design fot the peer lite shirt?
Who wouldn't want a free shirt la?
Yes free, because the school's recognising our efforts. hahaha.
But nobody's coming up with any design templates.

I've been waiting forever for this,
THIS FRIDAY IS THE NIGHT DAY.

yu guo tian qing? i'm not that sure.

My results are devestating...
Dropped 10 marks for combined humanities, all thanks to social studies.
Dropped 2 marks for combined science, which means I'm no longer top 20%.
Dropped about 15 marks for music, like wth... it was my best subject.
Failed chinese oral presentation.
Failed emaths yet again.
Failed the damn social studies.
Failed 90% of my chinese formal letter-writing, or gong han.
Average for this term is simply, argh. Dropped about 3 marks.

At least that's what my parents want me to think.
When I tell them the better results, they tell me this class is lousy.
I'm quite surprised lor, I didn't even put my heart and soul into studies this term, still can pass the tests ah.
Overall... failed one subject. Duh it's maths.

English improved by 1 mark.
Geography improved by 12 marks.
Chinese improved by 9 marks.
E maths improved by 17 marks.
Accounts improved by 1 mark. I'm still 2nd, hope to move up or stay there.

Valerie thinks I can be a counsellor in the future.
Haha.
"You really very nice lor..."
Yeah I'm too nice already, didn't you know?

The good thing is...
Priscilla is feeling much better now.
Shan't elaborate on that here, it's going into the private blog.
Perhaps you have heard us mention the private blog numerous times...
and you are dying to find out the contents of it.
Hahaha, all I can say is this: Good try. I wish you luck.
That's IF you even wanna know.

I've had enough ok, enough.

WILL YOU ALL JUST STOP IT??
HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT?
WHEN ONE STOPS, THE OTHER PARTY WANTS TO CONTINUE,
THIS WILL NOT DO OK.
WHATEVER WILL MISS ANG SAY IF SHE KNOWS ABOUT THIS.

Can't y'all just shift your attention to studies?
You are going to retain if you continue to fight like this, mark my words.

And please stop questioning me.
I am very happy with Priscilla, fullstop.

I am sorry...
But I just don't feel very 'me' these days.

title

I'm too tired to continue the previous post.
Still have to update private blog
Still have to do music project, damn...
Still have to revise chinese for tomorrow's tuition
Still have to do maths tuition homework
Still have to do lit and bio!!!!! Kill me pls. lol

Went without food from 7am to 7.30pm.
that's twelve and a half hours.
No breakfast, no lunch. Only plain water.
And Joel, he couldn't sing today and never tell me earlier!
Then I could have helped him get a replacement...
Actually since he was the one who couldn't make it he should hunt for replacement.
BUT HE SAID HE FORGOT.
So there were only 2 backups la.

This morning's workshop was on conflict management...
How to handle conflicts as a leader.
The causes, effects and solutions.
I thought that helped alot.

And then for Youth, the topic: God's holiness
Because of Jesus who paid the price for us, we are made holy.
We stand out from the pre-believers.
But when faced with temptation, to the extreme...
How many of us actually choose to give in?
Sometimes it's easy to just say,
oh I won't give in to peer pressure.
But in reality that isn't as easy as we think.
"It is up to (us), (our) responsibility, to practise holiness.
and have a fear for God, not forgetting that he lives in us.
when you lie, you dun admit your wrong, you surf some "funny" websites, say some "flowery" languages, you shall be answerable to God.
He's always there, watching over you, search your minds and soul, every single day, whether you tried to remain pure, or would you fall into the temptations of the devil. and slowly guiding you to hell. it's up to you.
whether you want to take a stang on Jesus. up to you.
well it impacted me though, cuz no one is perfect, if u sin, it's alrigt. God wont blame you.
He is forgiving, but if you sin and refuses to repent, that's something wrong.
so guys. stay pure."
And that was taken from Smarties' blog...
Don't say I'm a copycat ok! I gave you credits lor. haha

Clarissa and I both sensed some uneasiness today...
Being girls, we can pick up this kind of things faster.
Cos' Smarties didn't find anything wrong.
It was mainly Joe and Andrew...
I think Joe was too harsh.
What's wrong with my cell...
I guess I'll just have to pray for them and for the cell, that all of us will remain united as before, and not let anything tear us apart.
*thinks of conflict management workshop*

okay I'm going to update the private blog.

harpsichords are antique but wayyy cool

The workshop was enjoyable...
Response was overwhelming, there were so many other music students from other schools...
Until they had to sit on the steps.
Some parts of the master class was boring, I was dozing off la...
Dunno if anyone saw. lols!
There was this girl who played the grade 8 exam piece. The one which every grade 8 candidate plays... I hear until sian already.
She was rushing through the whole piece, play so fast with inconsistent tempo and the man still say nice!

ACS(I) is like so big?!?!?
Can get lost lor! And we didn't know where the female toilet was so we used the staff one hahah.
The boarding facilities are so cool also la!!
ok i'll update this again.

i need a guitar pick

My teeth hurts.
Ouch ouch ouch, cannot eat hard food..
`@#$%^&*()_+
dentist tightened it and added this springy thing again.

Not only my teeth, my left hand fingers hurt too!
It's so fragile now, my nails are going to drop out anytime.
I'm currently typing with my right hand and left thumb.
Ahhhh pain!!
Oh man.
I've been guitaring for the last 3 hours.
But it's all worth it!
I can play the guitar now! Like not just those basic chords like G, D, E, A, C...
I can play the sharps and the minors!! haha finally figured out which chord must bar what fret and why.
It's actually that easy, why didn't I notice and find out earlier??
Save me, I'm in love with the guitar now.
Ahahahahah...
Great so now I can play everything except drums.
Lol, which I have no intention to learn =/
Woohoooooooooo! Bass, keyboard, guitar! I prefer acoustic guitars though.
Cos' I strum without a pick. And it's not possible to strum elec guitars without picks.
Yeah man! I can finally play all the sharped and flattened major and minor chords!
See, I never called myself a guitar idiot. Even though I seemed to suck at it. And I'm glad I didn't anyhow label myself =D
There's still the dominant 7th chords, the sus-es and the inversions, which I only grasped 3/4 of it. If I do better, I'll go on to learn the augmented and dimished!
I apologise for the highness! It's just that I never thought I couldn play so much

Hahaha.. I can't wait to jam again.
Next week.
It's not like we can jam just anytime we want to.
It cannot be so impromptu.
And, the whole band must be able to make it.
"If one cannot then all cannot"
"Haha this is how a real band is supposed to be"
I was the only one who couldn't make it this Friday, so I told the rest to go ahead and jam.
Like in the old band, if anyone couldn't come, the others would just continue with the jam.
You wouldn't even know who is secretly rejoicing because you can't come.
This time it's different, those were the replies I got.
Wow... haha. This portrays 'One for all and all for one'
True team spirit. I'm so touched man. lols.
Of course, such is the character of God's children =)
I love you guys =D

perfect, imperfect, plagal, interrupted cadences??

Today's just wrong.
Everything's so pissable. I think most of it is caused by pms.
Damn Ms..

This morning we were all locked out of the class.
Original key missing.
Spare key was with Stacey and she didn't come to school.
So we went for a tour around the school compound for the rest of the morning.
Though the teacher made Stacey come to school to pass the key to the office.

I borrowed a book from _______ for silent reading...
So obviously after reading it I'll return to her.
BUT.
She barked into my face, saying I was irresponsible and ordered me to go return to ______a myself.
Harlow? You didn't tell me it's her book and when I return it to the person who loaned it to me, I am labelled "irresponsible"?
What kind of logic is this.

POA teacher does not want to connect with the class.
Just look at the way she speaks and teaches.
And she keeps saying, she's only a contract teacher, teach us for awhile only and dunno whether she will teach us next year.
Oh, she said it herself.
That she won't go and get to know each student individually...
So opposite of Mrs Eng.

Bio marks just sucks la.
Never got this low before.
My chem sucks too, so I can say goodbye to A2 and B3.

As if that wasn't enough...
_o____ and her attitude.
No wonder so many people didn't like her.
When she got into trouble, I was the one who helped and spoke up for her.
Apparently she didn't give it a damn.
Camp fever is over lor.
Doesn't she understand that it's AUGUST and not APRIL?
If it's April, then yeah I'll still be talking about the instructors and camp.
But now _______, _________ and I are very very very good friends lor, nothing more than that.
She still keep talking about what the whole class knows about it.
Yar I bet she'll go and spread some crap.
POST-CAMP SYNDROME IS GONE.
Yeah maybe she still can't get over her _______.
Tell her to be thankful I didn't bring that up ok.
Everyone knew how ridiculously dumb that was, what _______ _i___ her.
Please lar.
Don't believe lor, as long as I know I'm speaking the truth, they know the truth, they won't bother about your crap.

And _________, I've kinda had enough of her vulgarities.
Effing at every little thing you know.
If she thinks it's cool, well she's wrong.
It's not.

Thank God I passed my geography...
Surprising, since I failed the assignment which everyone aced.
AND the previous test.

Yar and I got scolded by my piano teacher for not thinking hard enough.
She stressed me up by throwing so many cadences at me and for the first time, I had to ans those aural questions.
Never teach me earlier, of course cannot answer properly la!
Wth.

Come back still gotta face my mother's nagging...
And do jian tie bao.. still have 7 articles.
And do music..
And BOTH have to be handed in by tomorrow.

Today sucks la.
1st day of Ms...
Hurry up and get over with it.

wish you were there

I didn't continue the previous post..
let this picture talk on my behalf















It was free of charge =D shared with my sis.

About the jam...
go to Priscilla's blog to read la.
haha..

I took over Grace (Quek) for backup duty today...
other singers were Stefanie and Sarah (Tan)
Most challenging part was to harmonise the new song.
Which I only heard this morning.
Same thing, they kept commenting about my harmonising...
whatever la. haha..
I taught Sarah the harmony/parts...
Sarah, say cannot do it, just because she struggled to remember the tune.
And I kept telling her can can can, replaced the 'cannot' in her with 'can'.
And she did it! W00t feel so happy for her.
(I teach one mah. lol)
We actually screwed abit during the actual worship..
Could see from the corner of my eye that she had the "oh no i made a mistake" face.
And I tried to tell her to just go on and continue to worship. Which was hard la, how to talk on stage.

JACELYN APPEARED TODAY,IN CHURCH AFTER 2 YEARS!
She was one of my best church friends in P6...
Then she backslided and stopped coming.
We never gave up on her, we continued to pray...
Then she came. I hope she continues to come for Youth...
Cos' currently, the guys: girls ratio is 7:2 in my cell.
If she comes, we'll have one more girl! haha.

Topic was on BGR.
Boy-girl relationship.
They don't want us to date until we're above 16..
The rest, it's mainly guidelines for my church youths.

Cell wanted to burst out the birthday song after service...
but! I siam-ed for worship debrief so they didn't sing! hahaha.
Debrief...
"Singers sang well, the harmony was very nice."
Wahaha Sarah and I almost fainted.
Our mistakes (to us) were so obvious they still say nice! lol.

Went for dinner with my cell girls + Wan Hui + Joan + Joe..
The usual place.
Joe treat me to bak chor mee, mai hiam, mai turkwa..
Everyone went to get their food so I sat there to look after their stuff.
And they came back with a slice of cake, with a candle on top!
(brought the cake home)















Still not enough, they started singing!
Damn malu can...
I rather they sing it in church than in the coffee shop...
Another 2 tables, the church youths, joined in...
Eugene, Elizabeth, Vennie, Joanne, Joel, Larissa, Kah Wan, Alfred, can't remember the rest..
and everyone else was looking! ahhahah
Got the shock of the day, but they made me really happy!
THANKS GUYS =)
















We went back to church for the memorial service.
People come and go, just like the monsoon season.
Zachary's mother, Auntie Joyce, who's the wife of the church elder Uncle Peter,
passed away very recently.
Due to cancer.
Before going for kimo, she was the principal of Living Sanctuary Kindergarten, my church's kindergarten.
She was a very cheerful woman who trusted God with all her heart and the smile on her face was always glued to her.
She always put others before herself.
Her last words were,
"Thank you Jesus"
Even at her deathbed, her heart was with the Lord.
She was concerned for everyone but herself.
Now she's gone up to heaven...
God has taken yet another soul to His kingdom.
What's happening to our church...
First Auntie Jenni, then Joe's mum who accepted Christ before she left, now Auntie Joyce.
Who's next.
Her family is very affected by her departure, duh.
Ben, Lydia, Matthias, Cynthia, Zachary and Uncle Peter.
I pray that they will stay strong and continue to carry the torch like Auntie Joyce did.
I won't be able to go for the funeral on Monday, it's in the morning and there's school.

Next week is a busy one. And I thought I was very free.
Mon; modular workshop. Tues; Piano lesson. Wed; Dental appointment, 1/2 hr. Thurs; Representing handbells to go to NUS for something. Fri; going for some harpsichord workshop? with o'level music girls. Sat; on duty for backups, prac then cell then service. Sun; Chinese and maths tuition.

Will it ever happen.?
straits or times?

what goes up must come down? false. age goes up and never comes down.

I woke up this morning and dragged myself out of bed, like I always did.
Phone read "1 message received"
Of course, I had forgotten. Haha.
Thanks Timothy...
(in fact it was the only bd greeting thru sms)

This year, no presents but lots of birthday greetings!
Wahaha I feel loved =)
You people really make my day =D
Thank you, Jiahui, Priscilla (hey I specially put your name here leh haha), Fiona, Enmei, Xiying, Janice, Jasmine, Sharmaine and 3/5 of the class for your birthday greetings, + the 28 people in class who sang Mrs Tng and I a birthday song!
There were more but I can't remember. Lol..

God has seen me through these 15 years of ups and downs...
I wanna thank Him for everything He has provided, especially good health!
It's only when you look at the less fortunate and handicapped then you remember you are a normal person and learn to appreciate yourself.
God gave me a wonderful (but noisy) family;
granparents from both sides, mom, dad, bro, sis
He gave me friends;
many of them... again i wanna mention the closer ones, (they are considered close,) who have acess to the blog. (again la i know)
He gave me home;
Singapore. She turned 41 10 days ago.

Going to Swensen's now.. blog again later =)

bye common tests!

After school...
Yeah Priscilla treated me to this noodle ommelette thing.
DAMN NICE OKAY!
I'll go back there again, sometime.
The guy put alot of mayo... =D
Thanks girl!!

We walked into the Christian bookshop, looked through the CDs.
And songbooks. You know, those books with vocal, piano and guitar scores...
And then there was an earthquake.
The shelf was unstable so everything just dropped!
Triple whoops. haha everyone was staring a us.

Then we went into Carrefour.
You know us, when there's a keyboard around, we have to touch it.
Lol played around with the keyboards there...
I like the $699 one! So many different sounds, and it has good touch.
There was one $19.90 one, I was so tempted to buy that one and put it in class to play.
At least it has 2 octaves more than Grace's kb right! haha.

PS. What's at the 2nd-last floor?
Yamaha!
Needless to say, we went there and touched all the instruments.
There's this bass which I like... It's super nice.
Now I think my bass looks freaking noobish.
Oh wells, I was the one who chose it anyway, plus it's nice to play on.
So it doesn't really matter.
Pris likes the red electric guitar.. she wants to get it.
Haha wait for the next sale la, so expensive...
That was the more rock part.
We went over to the more classical area...
Where the books, scores, percussion, woodwind instruments, brass instruments, string instruments and pianos are.
The piano, it's like, OMG la.
ALMOST ALL HAVE EXCELLENT TOUCH!
I've always liked Yamaha pianos.
Especially the silent and exam models, pure elegance...
My current piano is like some 2nd hand Hyundai brand.
Which has been with me since I started learning in P1.
It's nothing compared to Yamaha.
(i want i want i want! haha)
And another thing I want,
The Phantom Of The Opera original scores!!!!!!!
But they cost like $47.
Nevermind, slowly save.
(I wanted to get the Canon in D sheet music, the more advanced one.
$8 plus, forget it.)
I can be stuck in that place for hours if not for Priscilla who wanted to move on.. =X

"Aye I feel like eating Ben & Jerry's leh..."
You know were we went to la.
The B&J's in Cathay! Mix and Match again, upsized.
You pay extra just to have a bit more ice cream, not very worth it leh.
So don't upsize when you go there ok. Lols...
We shared Phish food, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Oatmeal Cookie Chunk.
Haha yeah it's the usual flavours, we never seem to get sick of them...
See la Pris! Say feel like eating only then end up really eating it... Spend so much money!
But it was worth it cos' we were full and enjoyed ourselves =)
I found 10 cents on the floor! My lucky day? haha.

no piano lesson today!

LOL this is so funny...
the 4 million smiles thing.
Got smile meh?

Today's jam wasn't that bad...
Just lack of 'life'.
At first I felt very uncomfortable...
because apparently it wasn't much of a cell thing,
more like Yuying's la..
When I stepped into the room,
WOAH. All the ppl in white uniform.
Clarissa's from North Vista so she also felt the same and she ended up 'seeking refuge' by 'studying' with the other non-Yuying church youths.
I 'hid' at the office to do maths.

Ok new discovery.
Smarties is actually very thoughtful..
He made me feel less odd being one of the 2 non-Yuying people around.
Somehow he knew I was 'hiding' in the church office.
Haha thanks man =)

So like I said, not much of a cell thing.
The extra people left and then we were left to jam more peacefully.
Kevin, Clarissa, George, Jiajun, Smarties, me.
Another discovery,
Some older songs have alot of meaning in them.
Those are the songs which have not been sung in a long time,
until today... it was as if we were jamming hymns =/

Kevin = PRESSURE.
haha don't ask why...

waaa aaaack!

I PASSED MY CHINESE, A B3 !!!!!!!!

First time in 1.5 yrs okay!!
Can you believe I got above 65% for the test?!?!?!?!
AAAAHHHH HAHAHAHA
I GOT A B3 I GOT A B3 YAYNESS!!!!!!
Sorry I can help it, Chinese has been one of my weakest subjects, plus I'm in the C band, a 3 is like such a big thing to me la! W0000000Ts!
This calls for a celebration! Lets go and have a good meal!
my treat Pay yourself though, I have no money.. haha!
Congratulate me man!!

Okok, clamed down.
I can play the guitar after all!
Played Mighty To Save and it was quite easy.
Wahaha... How many instruments can I play now?
*counts*

Yay going to jam in church with some of my church friends tomorrow...
Our cell's first attempt to jam.
Can la can la, we are God's children, we can do it!
Cannot have ''inauspicious'' thinking wad right, =D

This Friday's the 18th...
It's when ALL the common tests will be over (all but one)
(for now, there's bio, e maths and formal letter writing, music. 4 more to go)
And then we'll jam!
But then right, there's only Pris, Sharmaine and me.
This other girl can't make it, I dunno who.
So,

Any guitarist/bassist (then I'll do kb)/keyboardist out there???
Electric or acoustic, anything...
We just need someone to play this Friday!
Anyone la, as long as you're a Christian...
maybe I can try out the eguit. haha..

Excuse my 'highness' while I go and post something over at the other blog...

some quiz.

1. Known as?
- Joyce, the super slim person. haha.

2. You are a...?
- look there <------ profile says it all =D

3. Are you still studying?
- no. i'm working as a student. haha

4. Which school?
- working in PL and they never fail to overwork you..

5. Where do you live?
- in a house with a dining room, 3 bedrooms, 1 living room, 1 kitchen, 2 storerooms, 1 staircase, 2 toilets, 1 balcony, 1 piano, 1 violin, 1 classical guit, 1 bass guit, some angklungs, ......... (the list goes on)

6. What is your favourite food?
- loads. haha.. western, chinese, jap (sushi!), indian (prata!)

7. Song you're listening to at the moment?
- mrbrown show.. the one on ERP IU ringtones
"ha ha! 1 dollar go to the government! ha ha!"

8. Your favourite number?
- that'll be seven, 7.

9. How was your day?
- just like any normal day

10. Are you happy at the moment and why?
- nothing to be happy about leh. haha.

11. Are you sad or angry at anyone and why?
- read previous posts. and other blog. whoops i forgot you don't have the url.

12. What are the things that will make you happy and smile?
- friends, jamming, ... having fun?

13. What would you do when someone looks at you and you don't really know that person?
- stare back. lol.. or walk away.

14. Something that you're craving or wanting to have?
- i want a stand for 2 guitars! and go watch a movie soon!

15. What are you going to do next?
- memorize bio stuff..

16. Any plans for the coming week?
- no plans, it's just another passing week...

17. Do you like make-up?
- anything but chinese opera-like makeup. and nothing near that kind with super heavy eyeliner...

18. Have you ever dyed your hair?
- nope.

19. Favourite subjects?
- accounts!!! (it's the only subject which i can get above 90 marks) and music and bio.

20. What subjects are you good at?
- read previous answer

21. Weakest subject?
- HOHO. maths =/

22. What are your interests?
- refer to profile =D

23. What do you want to achieve?
- get below 16 points for o's. my standard now is like, 20.

24. Magazine or books?
- both. haha... mags are more entertaining.

25. Handphone or Mp3?
- handphone. with mp3 functions =P

26. R&B or Trance?
- contemporary christian

27. Rainy or Sunny?
- rainy when in school and at home, sunny when i'm out. lol

28. Flowers or Presents?
- hmm, presents?

29. Hot or Cold?
- neither hot nor cold can.. haha

30. Dark or Bright?
- bright, duh..

31. Short or tall?
- depends on what you're talking abt. short guys look funny. haha.. other than that i guess both are fine.

32. Wine or Beer?
- wine. beer = urgh

33. Shorts or Long Jeans?
- shorts are more cooling =)

34. GUYS ANSWER THIS , Love or Virgin?

35. GIRLS ANSWER THIS , Love or Money?
- both can? haha. ok, love is mort important. love in all definitions.

let every breath, all that I am, never cease to worship You...

*Sighs*
Priscilla doesn't want to go to New Creation tomorrow...
Later in the afternoon, I mean.
I really want to listent to their sermon and see how their service is like leh =(
So I guess I'm not going too.

James 1:2-3
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
*sighs again*

Ok so for today's youth service, Uncle Dong was the speaker.
Who knew la...
The topic was: Friends. How ironic.

Some points which I feel are important...
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for adversity.
Yeah, why else are they called 'friends'?
Don't give away your friendship cheaply, be wise.
It's painful when you get betrayed and break friendship.
They are like the priest and the Levite in the parable of the good Samaritan.

I think, my best friends...
are the ones who have acess to that blog.

unmasked?

I'm going to be superrrrrr busy next week.
THE WHOLE OF NEXT WEEK SO DON'T ASK ME OUT!
hahahaha... jkjk. lols.
But yea I'm a busy girl, 3 more tests and maybe there's a test on the history of music..
Jamming. WHEN?
Pris and Shar, ?????????
Soon I hope. And it better be good =x
My cell's talking about a cell band too.
Yeah it's my idea, how you know?
Smart yet not as smart as me! Ty!

Priscilla, are we still visiting New Creation this Sunday?
I wanna drop by leh...
As long as I can make it in time for the maths tuition.

I miss Jalan Bahtera. =(

yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery

Actually...
I don't need to blog already la just look at Priscilla's for details =D
But I'm still doing it.
And today I'm not blogging at the usual weeeeee hours of the morning..
There's a reason why I'm doing that..
What's the reason? Happy guessing =)

Was supposed to do intense studying at Kovan Macs with Priscilla.
You know what next la...
We didn't really study, only absorbed a bit. hahah..
Saw Joel again! I always see the same few people at the same places. Why, cause I'm always at these same places too. Lols..
Rivers, plate tectonics, vulcanicity, earthquakes, qualitative analysis.
You think we really studied that much meh, no lor...
Only a bit of everything. haha..

At first we were talking about stuff la...
Couldn't really study, plus Macs was quiet so I guess people around us knew what was going on. Lol mans...
Stuffed the fries into my oh-very-small mouth and hopped on to Sengkang MRT.
The same place, McDonalds.
The management should really thank people like us, who keep going to their restaurants...
And then Timothy la...
Late as usual.. The words are in bold okay. haha.

He suggested we put away our books and just talk.
Because according to past experiences, one can never study and talk about a particular topic at the same time.
He was right la haha... we dumped the books.
And talked...

Again he spoke from experience...
Even S'pore's Electrico can't go that far.
If you get what I mean.
What more, .... ?
Cannot wan lor... What we can do now is, sit, stand around, watch and laugh.

Turn back, will they ever do that?
I don't think they would be like those youths in the church.
We know the melting and boiling points of their hearts.
Forget them, it's a waste of our time.
They can be used for other things.
(Then you ask, forget them, why bother to still blog about them?
Cos', I'm saying what needs to be said.
Read my disclaimer.)

People show you different sides of themselves, the exact opposite.
I mean it.
One night they come telling you they wanna die, trying to get words of comfort and sympathy from others...
And the next day, they give you a phonecall, sounding super arrogant.
And they can laugh and go out and enjoy themselves like nothing happened.
Isn't it contradicting...
I take back what I said in the previous.
I don't frigging care about you anymore,
(can already hear it somewhere,
"who needs her care la, who does she think she is")
You, you and you.

I'm going to continue with this blog for as long as possible.
Cos' I think closing a blog just because of one or two people ain't worth it.
They're either running away or wasting their time spent blogging for the past who-knows-how-many months. Both la.

As the saying goes, Yesterday is History, Tomorrow's a Mystery.
Yea that's true...
But I'm still blogging about this simply because I wasn't part of the blogging war when it took place.
Now's my turn to blast.

And so, Tim, Pris and I went on to talk about other stuff...
Noob music shop owners, people crushing him, etc...
The funniest being, someone's book.
Wahahah... laughed our ass off.
Laughter is indeed the best medicine..
Had a darn greeeaaaaat time laughing, crapping and eating today.
Priscilla and Timothy made my day...
Not just today, it's gonna be 2 or 3 days. haha...

You know what...
I kind of know how Tim and Ter are feeling about this.
They passed on their talent to their understudies, or students.
They spent loads of time with them in the studio, and outside.
They taught what they knew, hoping and thinking that it will be used for the right purpose, the right way.
But no...
Their understudies absorbed and learnt from them.
Their understudies knew they were Christians and they weren't teaching for the sake of teaching.
Their understudies went ahead... to do what they think is cool.
Which actually isn't as cool as they think.
Or maybe, so cool that it turns into the dark side.
Not just the genre, the chatacters changed... for the worse.

Hey Tim..
I wish you all the best with your next one...
You will be able to learn without much hiccups,
I just know it la. haha.
And may your next one use the skills (given by God to you, which you will be passing on to,) in the right way.
I think you're careful enough not to make the same mistake yea?

Priscilla...
I look forward to whatever's gonna happen in the near future, don't need to think until so far yet. Lols...
We WILL continue to walk the path of the Lord, doing things right in His eyes.
We will continue to study together... without distractions I hope! Haha!
I've changed my mind about you...
And this time it's for the better, don't worry.
Whatever negative stuff I thought about you last time, whatever people bitched about you...
they're erased =D
Haha dunno mans, I just felt like letting you know..

=)

underestimated... and over.

I wanted to blog about today's fun spent praying and celebrating the nation's 41 years of independence..
But the mood was spoilt by, blogs.
Smarties was right about my relationship with x.
I should have told him more about it la...

My cell group, they're so sweet.
I overheard them talking about getting me a card cos' my bd's approaching and that after all, I'm the cell's birthday i/c.
In other words my job's supposed to be, do something for those whose birthdays are coming...
and it brings joy to see them beaming at what i get the cell to prepare for them.
Them being the birthday guy or girl.

I reflected on how God has blessed the community my church is serving..
Through all the CP work. How many have been saved through this...
The prophecy was just, wowness.
As 800 of us, from the congregation went around praying and having fun in our cells, I'm sure everyone felt the same way.
And then there's also the prayer for the nation.
S'pore's government... for wisdom to continue ruling our country in a good way.
For the multi-racialness among us.
Unfortunately for a very minor percentage, this isn't so.

I need to be like last time, when my relationship with the Lord was much closer,
I had a much closer walk with Him.
But, I also ask myself...
Do I only go to Him when I need help, only when there's trouble?
Plus I blogged about this before.
Somewhere in my archives.

I admit now ok..
Yes, it was planned that we did secular.
I didn't want Christian songs to be totally cut off and so I was a little upset.
But then we did some of it so that was fine. (actually, a bit less than fine)
And then... y'all wanted to go into jrock.
You know my answer, no.
I was stunned that day when four of you were at Joey's house watching the vids,
and all getting high over it.
Stunned that 2 of you went along with it.
I already had plans to leave the band because I could forsee that you were going to go into it.
Then 1 said she only went high together because, ......
So that was ok.

What about the other 1?
You know you're a Christian...

you know very clearly, what was pleasing in the Lord's sight and what wasn't.
And yet you went on with it.
Is it because you are afraid to lose your friendship with them if you don't agree to their plans?
I've blogged about peer pressure too, and I'm sure you've read it.
Stand for what you believe in.

If that's the case, contact me, I have loads to tell you.
But if you're saying that you're into that too,
I have nothing to say.
It's sheer disappointment.

Don't make it sound so like that can.
You, you and you are not "quitting the band".
You're throwing her and me out.
I'll gladly let you throw us out though, jrock and vk are and absolute NO.
You know it's linked to satanism...
As children of God, we'd never ever go against Him.
As I read that particular post on ______'s blog that day...
I was shocked beyond shocked.
I wanted to scream out but no, I controlled and was patient.
Now it's come up to here.

Perhaps Tim's right about regretting...
I know that I picked up bass through him.
But it's becuase you know how to play these instruments, so you're going into it.
I'd rather bass be a stranger than to see you do vk.

I'm gonna be more open.
I cared about all of you...
Till now, I still do.
Even though I'm having mixed emotions, even though I sound like I'm super pissed.
(I am anyway)
(It's never too late to turn back.
I know you too well, by the time you turn back, it'll be the end of the earth already. Still, ...)
We're in a Christian school, you've been brought up in a Christian environment.
With this kind of attitude... it seems like the school's efforts of teaching you to grow up to be women of fine character with a passion for life and learning, has gone down the sewage.
How could you 2 even think of dropping out of shcool...
We dreamed of going far... but with so much backstabbing,
how to?
I pray that God will open your eyes, wider.

Michelle and Christabel's efforts have gone down too.
They really wanted to help, they were concerned about what we were doing.
But it seemed like you really wanted to avoid them and you hated what they were doing.
If you don't mind, I'll fill them in about what's happening within our ex-band.
And let them judge for themselves,

What kind of people you are.

I'll even let them know about that day...
When lies were shooting out from all over.

Why man... why must this even happen.
Now I regret asking Tim to help in the first place.
None of this would have happened.
He would have been just another camp instructor.
No blind mice or some subbing shit.
When you said J______ and her ___e__s were sort of changing his mindset of things, about hanging with us, yes I agreed.
Now that I think of it...
Maybe it was good.
Because none of this would have taken place.
Because, if you hadn't learned from him, you wouldn't have gone into it.

I'm sorry if this shocked you...
But really cannot tahan already, I had to blog this out.
Why? Because I want you to know how I feel, honestly.
I still care. I still treat y'all as friends, but this time, less than normal friends.
And still... it doesn't pay to be caring because you say,
"I don't need your sympathy."
Fine, that's one gone case.

To you;
Don't let silly thoughts run through your mind.
Why why why, thoughts of suicide?
Like I said, it's never too late to turn back.
I've thought of death myself, but am reminded of God's love.
By His grace, I'm still alive and kicking.
[edited]
And now you come and tell me I wouldn't understand?
Forget it. Why do I keep on pressing on, and you keep on running away?
I'm not going to persue the matter.
But unless you tell me what's up with you
I'm not giving a damn to what you want to do with your life.

Why did I even want you two to make it up...
Because I hated the sight of people having rows at each other.
Now your 3 smses have frigging changed my entire perception of you.
I won't bother to go down to your level and have an sms war with you.
Wasting my msges only...

Oh yeah, you also...
You loved jamming without me, so you could have the instrument all to yourself.
Selfish thoughts never fail to exist.
You didn't give a shit about what others think, that's ok.
BUT.. to that extent...
It was too much.
Now you CAN have the instrument to yourself, all the time.
You aren't going to compete with me.
Go ahead.
I ain't wishing you luck with vk.
Why should I wish people all the best when they're turning against God.

Some people say...
I'm too soft-hearted.
I think this time it hardened a little.
[edited/]

will they ever?

I wanna push that off my mind for awhile...
Got other stuff to think of. Like,
what i need/want

1. A bass guit case. My bass is still in the box cause, I can't put it anywhere else
2. Another cable! The one which comes with the bass + amp is too short.
3. A haircut? haha.
4. I want a guitar stand! -.-
5. I want everything to go back to normal
6. Good grades. How? Study lor. *nudges Pris*
7. I wanna jam. But how to? How how how?

[edit]
striked those off cos' my dad got them for me =D
[/edited]

my pimples multiply like the problems i experience.

I had a great time with Pris, Ling Jia, Denise and a lil' of Joel in Macs today...
Saw Smarties AGAIN.
Rahrrr. We tried to study but ended up talking about SOP and guitars.

And then I spent some time with Joey and Stacey...
Stacey tried out my bass and she went mad.
Had a great time with them too...

Super conflicted la...
I'm praying about it..
And I tried sorting out my thoughts about this.
I cannot do it alone.
Neither can I talk to anyone in Prata Bling about it.
I feel for both sides. Naturally it'll be unwise to tell any of them..
Especially when things are still very heated and unsettled...
Some classmates are very caring and understanding,
they just know that something's not right and they try to help us.
Thank God for them, they try to cool things down too but sometimes say the wrong things..
Still, they show that they care and that's really moving..

I have different views on both sides...
I wanna tell someone who knows what's going on and can be trusted.
Last night before I slept, I thought I could try and cool things down just by praying and believing... and not getting too many people involved in this.
Looks like I'm wrong.
Just as I am helping and trying my best to settle things,
I need help myself.
Argh I just feel like breaking down this very minute.

SOP and band... expect a long post ok.

I'll blog about yesterday, very briefly..
Was in school at 7.45AM and we transported all the bells and tables and scores and stands to SCH.
Technical rehearsals.. One after another.
Just when I thought I could jump into my geog book and appreciate the wonders of God's creation,
"HEY EVERYONE GET READY FOR FINALE"
or else it's,
"HANDBELL GIRLS GET YOUR BELLS AND GO BACKSTAGE NOW. STANDBY"
... ...
While my juniors and friends were high and happy,
I just couldn't feel like them.
There was something which pulled me down.
Nevertheless I gave my best at both concerts..
Reached home at almost 12AM.

Saw Persie, Priscilla, Kah Wan, Jia Yan, Yi Jia, Elizabeth Eng, Wanyi, Melissa Png, Lee Xuan, Desmond, ....
But I didn't see Joey!
Cool at least there were people.

Today I called Sarah up to accompany me to Bukit Timah Plaza.
And I got it.
Bass la, what else =)
Quite happy with this one, the sound's good and all...
But now, I'm starting to regret getting it.
For one reason:
Prata Bling. What's the use of getting a bass when my own band is talking about disbanding? In a short 2.5 months.
And I talked to Sarah...
SEEMS like she's stuck in between too.

Okay.
Remember how we started out together?
Music marathon.
At that time we were just normal friends, just a bunch of girls with big dreams. That we would not sing a capella for that half an hour.
We were not going to make do with singing along to the CD either, that's as good as just playing the tracks and standing there to fill up our slot.
So I kinda came up with, the idea of a band.
I looked for people who were promising, who looked like they would commit to this project.
And of course we couldn't just play instruments without coaching.
Timothy came into the picture, by helping us.
Oh by that time it was not decided who excatly would play for the marathon.
I still remember, Tania, Stacey and Joey trying out drums.
Tania couldn't commit herself.
Stacey dropped drums and went to bass instead.
So Joey was left with the drums and she persued her interest.
Guitarist, only Sarah could do it. Clare refused even though she had the ability.
And then bass... There was Clare, Stacey and I.
Then Clare also couldn't commit herself and it was really hard to tell her that we didn't think she should play.
Cos' at that time, Sarah, Priscilla, Joey, Stacey and I were jamming VERY regularly. Practicing hard for music marathon.
This brought us close together.

And so we remained close, we even named ourselves Prata Bling.
Oh, those times... Now it seems like such a long time ago when it happened.
And everyone was happy and we were always hanging out together.
Doing things like jamming, eating, crapping and gossiping.
(However, I tried hard not to gossip. Because.. it breaks friendships, and it wasn't pleasant in God's sight. And I wasn't that happy actually, not like it seemed when you read the above. I just felt, distanced. (or was it me distancing myself?) Whatever. I went along with the band even though I was a BIT left out. I even had thoughts of leaving the band cos' I wasn't really needed)

We got to know Syahir.
Though he only talked to us once, what he said actually impacted me alot.
He talked about how good we were as a young and all-girls band..
How unity is very important and we have to be there for one another...
Support and co-operation was important too. (isn't it the same -.-)
He proceeded to talk about how bands disband when they cannot agree and quarrel over things.
And praised us again for our positive attitude.
I was already thinking,
we won't stay like this forever. It's more than perfect, this kind of band.
Conflicts... are bound to happen, just wait.
And I hoped that day never came.
I was so wrong, it did.
One of my greatest fears came true.

And look at us now.
This is the last thing I want to see happening to you all...
LAST, really...
what a fantastic birthday present man.
How did all these start in the first place?
Different beliefs, different opinions, different interests, different choice of genres, and perhaps, backstabbing and gossiping.
This is what happens.
You start thinking of how someone should change and you have good intentions. But the problem was, you didn't know how to tell her. So you told others instead, about how to help her improve.
And then everyone starts thinking that everyone is like this and like that and they end up backstabbing each other and relationships turn awfully sour.
Okay I'm exaggerating la.

But anyway, the thing is...
words are damn powerful. They kill a person, they build a person.
Forget it I dun even know what I'm talking about.
Blogposts start to show more feelings, more opinions..
And the bloggers retaliate, each becoming more frank.
Soon, they decide that they can't take it anymore.
The sourness turns into tasteless, where one could not even taste anything.
They try to turn for help, who would want to bottle up their feelings when this kind of thing happens man..
They simply had to tell someone, they needed a listening ear.
They are Joey and Priscilla.
I'm only blogging about this now because things are getting worse.

I've heard both of them.
In other words, both spilled out lots of stuff to me.
(this is when the forgotten is remembered. out of point.)
So much, that I forget some parts of what they said.
Basically I'm in the middle and I cannot move at all.
Glued there, stuck, nailed, fastened.
I feel so lost, even though I know I'm in Singapore and safe in God's arms, and also in the centre of the conflict.
I really dunno what to do about it.
Stacey's on Joey's side, Sarah's kind of like me, just that she's slightly to one side. I wouldn't say which one.
My closest friends... ending up like this.
My closest friends saying not very nice things about each other.
My closest friends wanting to disband and go separate ways.
What about me? I'm happy with them. Disband, it's like so cannot go far at all la. I don't want to disband. Joey and Stacey want to go VK now. Which I'm not comfortable with
Other times, little arguements, can patch up very fast. Like just in a day.
Now it's totally different la. I don't even think things will improve.
UNLESS both agree to talk things out?
No, that's worse. Will just end up like those drama serials.

Sighs.
Lord, help me again!
Both are telling me stuff...
I feel for them both. But now how?
How am I supposed to handle this???
Lit lessons are gonna be so awkward, cos' our band's grouped together.
I wanna say more, but I'm reminded that this is public.
Not every single thought can be expressed here.

If you read until here, I can only say this...
you're very free.

goodbye, serene

Yesterday Ms Loh told the upper sec girls about Tuesday's rehearsal,
how she was "glowing with pride" as she saw each group rehearse their item.
There was so much talent in PL.
And then she asked,
how many of us have bought tickets to go and watch this performance by the music groups?
How many have got tickets to go and support the performers who have put in a damn lot of effort into this concert?
I thought of my friends.
None of them.
None.
Not my friends outside school, not even my classmates.
While every other class had ticket orders, 3c2 had zero.
I tried asking quite a number of people.
All of them gave me a 'no', not a single yes.
How sad... Hah, this is called 'supportive'.
The concert's on Saturday, and today is Thursday.
Friday morning, to be exact.
I've been asking around for dunno how long...
So much for being proud of PL's talents.
So much for practicing so friggin' hard.

My dear science lab partner, Serene, will be flying off soon...
I'm so gonna miss her.
There'll be nobody else to do practical with, I'll be alone la.
And I'll definitely miss her mrbrown crap...
Oh man, Serene!!!
So sorry I couldn't get you anything...
SOP and mugging tests have taken away all my time.
Just wanna tell you that,
I'll miss you heaps! And you will not be forgotten..
See how much our class loves you, the cake and all...
Love you lots Serene!! Take care yeah.

Miss Ang, if you ever come here...
You are the best form teacher. And SS teacher.
(To think that she was the one who actually scared the shit outta me 2 months ago)
Because our current form teacher can't teach CME,
she isn't as nice as you..
And our SS teacher is like clicking powerpoint slides all the time,
she teaches with a lot of pauses. Like,
"OK, *pause* so there was conflict between *pause* Iceland and *pause* Britain."
The NIE trainee under her is no better.
She just read off the slides.
If the school continues letting not experienced teachers teach us,
we will just fail la.
Miss Ang come back!!

I miss Mrs Eng too.
(omg there's a lizard on the floor.)