I should probably stop feeling bitter and angst that you expect to borrow my resources, while treating me like some freak and acting all awkward and cold when you see me. I am human, excuse me, and I am well able to detect such gestures which you make no attempt to conceal. It's kinda like too obvious. Not wanting to sit near me in lectures, noticing my presence and then laughing at some exclusive inside joke. Et cetera. I know full well that I am not deluded. Your actions speak volumes.

But God says I should provide you with what you want, love you, and speak kind words to you. So I should not be feeling bitter.

Yet I am.

Ongoing reminder to myself to be nice, for every little deed goes a long way. And it's what God wants us to do.

Maybe it'll be easier if I keep telling myself to be calm and stop overreacting and pretend everything is normal.