first CO practice

[edit] copied and pasted from multiply [/edit]

Excuse me while I rant. I'm serious. RANT.

Blogger's being an ass so I have to blog here at multiply... I doubt the post would even appear at the blogger side la. What's the use of having the cross-post function when it doesn't even work?!

I am feeling quite lost at the moment..
I feel empty, I need God to fill my cup, I need it to overflow once again.
The thought of not being able to go for Youth Ablaze for the next 2 years just irks me. I'll miss my cell group like nuts!! I can only see them after 7.30pm on Saturdays.. or on Sundays for main service.
CCA... not like my first practice was very enjoyable..
Yes I know it's only a matter of time before I get assimilated into this CCA.. cos' currently nothing seems to be going right. Fine, maybe the only thing right is that they willingly took me in because they are short of players -.-
But I have to learn from scratch. Duh. I chose to go there. Picking up a new instrument is fun, though I never expected myself to learn this instrument!!! I loaned one from the college, it sounds out of tune (and I have no idea how to tune it), the bow thing needs rosin and I dunno where I'm gonna get it. Unless I try the rosin for violin.. I think I still have it.

Today I made my way down to school...
I was early, so I sat near the bleachers and read my bio guide book to kill time.
Shujun told me to go to LT2, but it was empty. I think he meant LT3. Being lost (as always), I wandered around outside the LTs and lifts.. then approached this group of girls and found out they're from that CCA. I found out where the instrument store was. -.- Shujun's section leader then got hold of me and showed me around the different sections, asking them to play a tune on their various instruments as a demonstration. Suddenly barging into those classrooms wasn't the ideal thing. Ok I'm exaggerating. Still, it was highly embarrassing. For I dunno what reason. Maybe it's because there were so many familiar faces from the overseas trip last year... and now I'm joining them..? I wonder what's going through their minds.
Sj's SL then deposited me at the classroom full of, well, people. I dunno how red I was, but my cheeks were definitely burning with nervousness and paiseh-ness. It was a horrible feeling, to have everyone staring at me as I moved quickly to an empty chair. I sat down. They whispered among themselves. Nice start huh. I should stop being so paranoid.

There were 2 J3s who, after a while, brought me to the back of the classroom and patiently introduced me to this new instrument. They were being really kind, showing me the right way to hold it, position my fingers, etc. They were friendly =D
Someone took down my shirt size for their CCA shirt.

pause.

What am I doing in ACJC in the first place??!?!!

un-pause.

Of course there were other nice people as well, like Nigel... who was making the effort to help me feel more at home.

Let's just say that I must be out of my mind, to agree to stay in that cca, that particular section, to agree to practice on that out of tune instrument which now lies silently in its case at my living room. Perhaps it's just me and my sensitive ears, I know it's only slightly out of tune. Still...
Tastes and preferences change over time. What I aimed for in sec 4 wasn't exactly realistic although now it does seem to be going according to my plan which I laid out last year. I dunno why I choose to stick to those goals. I'm just doing it. [edit] A detour, perhaps? Pastor Daniel's sermon on 9 March spoke to me. To blog about that will take up another post. [/edit]

JC life is all about independent learning. Sigh. Gotta stop relying on others! Gotta read up on a lot of stuff on my own, and now find tutorials on youtube for that instrument. Oh my gosh. March holidays aren't really holidays after all. I'll have to draw out a plan and follow it.

Got to include God in all my decisions. Got to join CF too in school I guess.Got to keep praying and reading the bible to satisfy that hunger.

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'll be a fool
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all