sudden? again?

Andrew msged me...
he said Kevin told his sis that Joe's mum has passed away.in her sleep.
like omg, another death? and it's someone i know? again?
she accepted Christ last church camp, thankfully...
so we don't have to grief that much.
but a few of us actually planned something for Joe tmr after service,
and Smarties volunteered to help buy the cake. now it seems like the celebration has been replaced by a wake...

plan to meet Andrew tmr to buy Clarissa's late bd prezzie.
how long liao la now then buy.

handbell.
practices on monday, tuesday, wednesday...
2.30 to 5 or 6pm.
jamming how? will have to be at night or i'll just keep going late.
unless they wanna screw me. i'll cry la. literally.

teachers said the sec 4s have stepped down already. which leaves the sec 3s in charge.
thought mrs wong said something like "no more interview" and they were going to pick the new exco just like that. my ears must be playing tricks on me.
sec 3s stayed back today, to prepare for monday's performance.
counted all the things we're supposed to move.
seems like just yesterday, we were sec 1s and depended so much on the seniors.

should i blog about yesterday?
hmmmmmmm. lazy.
just blog it in my diayland blog i guess.
pw protected...

Hilary (Tan) keeps msging me abt the music marathon for o'level music ppl...
"how?"
like i know how... i'm busy like siao already lor, with cca and class things taking up so much of my time...
now have ANOTHER ONE...
want to say ''don't care'' also cannot. we are SO gonna die.
i really feel like telling her "i don't care about this already la"
but it's not nice. so i'm not repying her msg. is that worse?

woo hoo.

was late for CCA again cos of lack of sleep. haha...
we polished the bells, all five octaves. tiring man.. the sec 1s can do quite a good job. i checked all their polished bells and yeah they were okay. and then something freaking scary happened. the F#7 bell dropped. not i drop one lor! wah i tell you, got shocked like anything la... cos most bells already have alot of scratches. omg..

i thought the comm interview was today. scare me la!! so it wasn't.

geography project with Persie, Sarah and Joey. and Stacey was there too.
we were distracted by alot of other things. first we were feeling down cos of something.
then Sarah and all her 1*beep*2.. followed by "fag", "fish", "noob"...
Joey and Stacey went high with some music ( i forgot what) and they were dancing around. lol... after that we ALL went high with the guitar and some singing.
fine la i admit i didn't do much work today okay?

i suggested both Christian and secular songs but,
band wants to do all-secular.
i'll never (and ever will) forget that it was the Lord who gave me this special ability to pick up music stuff slightly faster than people (i didn't say much, it's slightly)
and so jamming Christian songs is only a small part to thank God and play for Him. but it seems like after the music marathon, no Christian songs...? there'll be no one else to jam these songs with, which is very very sad. not like the o'level music band will last la... i know it wont.
and hey i'm not against the idea of all-secular because majority of the band wants it this way, so... haha. yups.

when am i going to get my bass? music marathon- class and o'level music... that's two separate items. bassist for both, (and without a bass)
handbellers are gonna 'open' the whole thing...

7pm-8pm (handbells item)
millennia walk
29th june 2006

support us! support ME! haha jk. support US cause we really put in ALOT of effort..
it's hard to coordinate certain parts of the songs but we did it!
two of the pieces we're going to play are familiar ones... yet challenging
so,

SUPPORT THE HANDBELLERS PLEASE!

(not playing keyboard for For All You've Done already... don't want to be labelled "selfish" or anything =))

parents. jamming. bassing. put music into this poem, chords included.

i'm tired out again la. haha... but it's all worth it.. another long post.

Saturday
i was on duty again for backups. Rastus and Rasmus can play What The World Will Never Take like, WOAH. WAH WAH WAH. impressed by them man. You're Everything was kinda screwed, but we're playing and singing for God right, so :)

talked about what we learnt from church camp during cg (cell group) discussion. which was like, alot. slave and princely mentality, forgiveness, ....

parents screamed at me when i asked,
"can i go and jam tomorrow?"
because there's a mountain of uncompleted homework.

lets see. did homework with Joey until 5 am. yes, 5 AM not PM. but we were talking and laughing about the turkwa thing for more than an hour :D

Yesterday
my father scolded me for saying i was going out to jam.
and that the next time i could go for jamming was when ALL the homework's completed. siao... i knew the next day going to jam again la, so i just shut up.

did quite alot, very very good. with Adeline also... she sang. and then there was this girl who came in and asked, "are all of you from PL?" so we were like "yar" and she said "i was from PL too!". then she went on to ask us to play for her to listen and she gave comments and all. while all these went on, her band stood outside. she was so nice la, very supportive... and all of us went super high..

the ex-PL lite's band joined us for dinner. by the way, her name's Michelle and her band is from City Harvest church. haha... they want to help us too. our band's blessed with lots of helpful and nice people. haha... Michelle and her speed prayer! lol

after that the rest (Pris, Sarah, Stacey, Ade, Joey) went to macs and Joey's house to stay over while i went home to do hw until 3am. it's cos of the many restrictions i'm having. parents don't give me much freedom. ask the band ppl la, they will tell you i'm always the first one to leave and the rest will continue crapping and having fun. i even thought of quitting and let Stacey do all the bassing la...

today
was late for CCA... instructors said there's gonna be a performance this monday, 26 june. damn.. must practice alot harder. i think treblers are doing fine la, just the dynamics and tempo being constant and eveness of the ringing... and then i literally ran off.

can someone exprain to me
why some drummers can drum until their drumsticks fly off (Tim)
why some acoustic guitarists can strum until the pick drop into the hole (Jon)
why some electric guitarists can strum until the wire got problem (Ter)
"nonono, you exprain to me first"
"explain what?"
"exprain why, you say you tell me you dowan turkwa.. *repeats the above questions*"

lol had fun today la.. 3 hours of jamming. i swear Stacey's picking up fast man. good for you! you have a bright future. For All You've Done solos, *applauses*

i've noticed this, please allow me to say (uh it's my blog of course i'm allowed to say)
WE HAVE TO SMILE AND LOOK LIKE WE'RE HAVING FUN WHEN PLAYING AND SINGING. because all our faces look burnt, trust me. looks very serious and sometimes constipated. haha... so, you better smile ah! this is quite basic actually. lol. oh especially Joey leh, sometimes look so serious, dunno whether she's in a bad mood or she's concentrating. then when she's high the speed of whatever song we're playing would be super fast, sabo-ing us can.haha

walked ALOT la. blisters on my foot hurt..
talked alot but i didn't understand anything. still not clear abt the prince and princess thingy..
and Priscilla as usual, went about attempting to pluck out our dead hair -.- i'm scared of her, haha! aiyah Tim has alot la go pull out all his hair.

i went off early and missed alot of fun :( but........
it was sorta worth it because my parents were in a better mood and i brought up the subject of music marathon and bassing when i thought it was safe enough. then my father said that HE WOULD GET ME A BASS GUIT IF I GiVE MY BUNNY AWAY. AMPS INCLUDED! 1st time so nice. nah kidding. cos i've been reluctant to give up my rabbit, over a year already. i guess, bass over bunny?

so i'm sacrificing fun with the rest of the band, so that can have more time to complete the piling homework ASAP. then hopefully can get my bass ASAP too. i can already picture it lying in my room. haha! and maybe Sarah's getting an electric guit? Sarah your teacher's teacher is damn pro and your teacher is also pro which makes you pro. am i right? no la Sarah can learn faaaaasssssssst

BUT (again)...
bassing... for me, can i go far with it? i dont want to just practice at home and jam. and besides, i'm not very good with bass. not willing to waste parents' money leh... i've never seen my dad being so quick in making such a decision before. involving a few hundred bucks. that time already spend so much on my phone and now bass. since i have un-constant curfews and very little freedom, well... this might be something to 'make up' for it?

i've made up my mind.

who wants a 3-year-old male rabbit, grey, local breed? he's friendly. contact me please, i'd rather see it in the arms of someone i know than with the SPCA and risk having it put to sleep.

Lord, is this real? am i dreaming? i thought my parents would never allow me to pick up another instrument and have it IN the house...

more shocked than happy? haha..

a little more about the camp

played the angel and mortal game..
the whole church! as in the whole church playing it, so cool... my mortal was uncle Edwin Ho, camp commandant! hahas.. i gave him 2 cup noodles. and then my angel didn't give me anything. so sad la =((
it was nice to see everyone buying stuff for each other. some bought doughnuts and some weird food lor. haha hilarious pls...

all the meals were fantastic la... buffet, ate and ate and ate.. why still the same weight? my maid was like, "wah why you eat SOOOO much ah". hahaha... eating with Doreen, Wanhui and Kevin (See) and Beatrice was the best ! they were so crappy :D

the third day, thursday
went to the theme park with Charmaine (Seow), Timothy (Ho), Cliffton, Sophia, Jonathan (Soh), Benjamin (Neo), and Yu Min (i forgot how to spell his name! omg. haha)
they make me very high.
only went on three rides. out of the three, 2 went 360 degrees. haha... very fun! the girls screamed like mad.. and then....
IT STARTED RAINING
so we, God's princes and princesses with lots of faith, got together and prayed for the rain to stop. and it did after 5 minutes. so they went into the pool and i sat there to look after all the things. why? because i cant get into the water when i'm menustrating. watched them have fun.
THEN IT RAINED AGAIN, and this time it was 20 times heavier!
the thunder was so scary. lol. we could see alot of church members there... some of the church adults and kids were stuck under the same shelter as us. haha...
played with the sand for very very very long before going back to the hotel room. i hope the rest didn't catch a cold... they were all shivering like crazy..

Yu Min (???) ar... so gentleman (was it an act? lol!) i was carrying everyone's stuff in this bag then he kept taking it away from me.
then Sophia left her watch at the shelter and he ran all the way back to get it for her. under the rain some more lor! wah. haha..

the shopping centre, Sunway Pyramid...
omg that was so big la! BIIIIIIIIGGGG
i only shopped one level lor, with Santi... not enough time to go beyond that.. and there's the long lost A&W! lunched there. root beer float! nice =) hahahahaha
there was a cinema there too... but didn't watch la..

we had games on the second day
i was in the yellow team and we came in fourth. k la not bad already...
i participated in most of them.. haha. good to see all the adults, youths, children and some older folk so enthu about it.
there was this game... three-legged, had to kick the ball under the chair, go to the end and DRINK WATER, then write using our toes. which turned out messy la, lol..

my 8th church camp.. just as fun as the other 7... camp committee did a great job =)

[ok i better run, just received the repetoire from Boon Yeow...]
[aaand... cca ends at 12pm on monday lor! how to rush la... end up cannot go...]

church camp was a blast. damn tired now

the theme's Supernatural Is Natural... and indeed lots of supernatural stuff happened..

i'll just jump straight to certain things

[oh btw, Raphael's dad just called my dad to go over to his house to watch soccer. cool. ]

on the first night, i felt Daddy God speaking to me, it was so real, like it's the first time i heard Him. but, not excatly direct. He spoke through an angel, through a song... the words were sang by that angel to the tune of Spirit Song. Cos you know i was still burdened with all that guilt and some things which could not get off my mind. so the angel sang something like,

"why are you feeling so guilty? I sent my Son to die for you, so that your sins could be forgiven. all that guilt I take away from you... you could have prayed and asked Me for help. yet you chose to approach your friends. I am always here, I'll never forsake you... ... ... my daughter, I love you..."

it was really alot more than that but i can't quite remember because i couldn't stop crying. the love of God was felt so strong and at that moment, i was so soaked in His presence, nothing else mattered. if only i could feel this way everyday la... He spoke to me... not through the bible or any speaker.. i could hear the voice of the angel so sweet and calm.

and then on the 2nd night, they called all those who were really sick (like, cancer) to go forward after the message. and then uncle David, who has been using a cane to support his walking for many years, started to walk! without the aid of the cane! that was so amazing la... the whole congregation was clapping, cheering and giving thanks to God. that was one major thing. there's alot more and i won't be typing it out.

check this out.
damn funny i tell you
can laugh until you lao sai in your pants

in the midst of preparing for sec 4 farewell

to Sunway Lagoon in KL for church camp.
looking forward to a wonderful time with God and the rest of the church...
not forgetting the theme park and shopping! whoo..
back on Friday afternoon/night ;)

(The Time Has Come
just need to 'evenise' the bridge and everything would be more than fine. haha. i found the tab!
All Day
almost there,just a bit more... )

felt a rush of guilt... omg i really hate it..
about things which have passed,things which had made me feel damn guilty,
i'm feeling it now again. argh...
can't be 'sorrier',from the bottom of my heart,really..
some people seem to want to make me remember it. seem.
gosh why this feeling just before church camp la...

saying "hello" to my band. oh and those who made it possible. =)
you guys are the best

what a day

HAPPY 15TH, CLARISSA!
so sorry i forgot until now! really sorry dear... will get you a present =)

right eye was irritating me slightly throughout the day.

that B&J's kingdom... rocks!!!!!!! alot. seriously, was my first time i tried B&J. cos' i'm so poor and i have no money. haha.. it's a great place to hang out and just crap and do nothing =) BUT. oh yeah there's always the BUT... three side effects.

1) your butt will be glued to the seat and you'll be unable to get up. more like reluctant la..
2) a big hole will be seen on your wallet.
3) you'll stop buying ice-cream from the uncle (for PL lites, the uncle outside our school) because it's nothing compared to B&J.


i think we should make it a point to drink milo BLING after we jam. after every session. hahaha.. this is like our trademark? ... what about band name? not some vampire shit please. lol..

remember 1a1, the sec 1 class, Nisa and I took 1/4 of the class for their PC lessons in term 1. now totally lost contact, only see them in school then they will wave. other than that, nothing. i think peer lites should do more than just teaching them for the 1st term. so it's time to find out how they are doing...

AAAAND. 3c2 ar, we should do something for Ms Ang. she's leaving us... she's not that bad actually.. plan some farewell party? i dunno. or make everyone write little notes and put them together and then ask Clare to pass to her.

sec 3 St. John girls...
don't be too affected by the scolding k.. there's bound to be comparisons made here and there, you all know it will come, sooner or later. and this is not the only camp right, just make sure you work harder to plan the next one? i know... y'all already put in alot of effort and what you got back was not praise but scolding. it's over la, move on and learn from mistakes made and make sure you don't repeat them. ok?

CCA at 8.30am later... crap.

[edited, 426pm]

[ Last ] letter of ur FULL name? = e
[ Last ] thing you ate? = wanton mee
[ Last ] thing u drank? = soup
[ Last ] song you listened? = All Day
[ Last ] thing you did? = played guitar
[ Last ] movie you watched? = king kong
[ Last ] TV show you watched? = some lame cartoon
[ Last ] person you have a crush on? = myself
[ Last ] person who sent you a sms? = joey
[ Last ] time you cleaned your room? = woah that's a damn Nong time ago
[ Last ] CD you bought? = Hillsong United's United We Stand
[ Last ] word you said? = yar
[ Last ] time you cried? = during aunty Jenni's funeral
[ Last ] person who you chatted with online? = andrew
[ Last ] person you bit? = uh, no one
[ Last ] website you went? = mxtabs.net . bass tabs :D
[ Last ] time you shopped? = last thursday. in Mahkota...
[ Last ] person you hated? = i love everyone =)
[ Last ] person u thought of? = the Wee Lee guy and his reaction when he sees, ... haha.
[ Last ] time u fell sick? = Nong Nong ago! lols.
[ Last ] person you would to see now? = 3rd floor neighbour
[ Last ] person you would want talk to? = last person. hmm.. 3rd floor neighbour too...
[ Last ] thing you would wanna see on ur result slip? = underlines
[ Last ] no. of ur hp? = 0
[ Last ] survey you did? = something on friendster
[ Last ] words? = God will never leave us nor forsake us.

SECTION 1
^Call me: joyce
^Age: 15 in August
^Height: 160cm
^Hair Color: black
^Eye Color: black too
^Where am i at?: near the window

SECTION 2: HAVE YOU EVER
*Peed in ur pants? : haha Nong time ago
*Fallen off e bed? : no =)
*Fallen for a relative? : omg no
*Plastic surgery? : i wont want to destroy God's creation you know.
*Failed a grade? : elaborate?
*Broke someone's heart? : i hope i haven't
*Had your heart broken? : uh huh. shattered
*Had a dream come true? : partially, not completely...
*Cheated on a test? : duh. haha

SECTION 3: CURRENTLY
+Wearing: handbell shirt
+Eating: gum
+Feeling: physically tired. after guitaring for so long
+Reading: bass tabs
+Located: kovan area
+Chatting with: i'm appearing offline
+Watching: the clock
+Craving: more Ben & Jerry's!
+Should really: put down the guitar and sleep

SECTION 4: DO YOU
-Brush ur teeth? who doesn't la pls...
-Like anyone? i like myself. and my friends..
-Love anyone? Jesus!
-Have any piercings? no
-how many? i said no
-Drive? underaged
-Love God? DUHH
-Ever get off the damn computer? of course la

SECTION 5: FRIENDS
+Who are your best? the regular taggers
+Who is the loudest? Yuhui! loudspeaker..
+who is the shyest? Ling Jia
+Who is the hottest? uhm.........
+Who laughs the most? Yuhui too
+Who have you known the longest? Sara Tang. since P1...
+Do you hang out with the opposite sex? yar
+Do you consider yourself hot? no, i'm friggin' cold
+Do you trust ur friends? depends on how close
+Are you a good friend? that's not for me to answer
+Can you keep a secret? yeah. still keeping that one. and a few others

SECTION 6: LAST PERSON YOU
+Hugged: Hillary
+Talked to on the phone: mother
+Yelled at: Ling Ying... she was running away with my phone again
+Checked out: err hello?
+Fell In love with: myself? haha. 'love' is not the right word
+Tripped: do i look like a mean person?
+Turned down: someone selling flags

SECTION 7: PERSONAL
+What do you want to be when you grow up? - something to do with music. any form of music. or church work...
+What was the worst day of ur life? - can't remember. involved alot of crying and shouting
+What has been the best day of ur life? - the day Jesus came into my life
+What comes first in ur life? - family and friends
+Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? - THAT kind? no.
+What do you usually think of before u go to bed? - reflect and pray..

SECTION 8: FAVORITE
+Movie: Harry Potter! omg cedric...
+Song: lol alot.
+Band: my band? haha. Hillsong United
+Brand: Ben & Jerry's!
+Relative: dunno leh. haha.
+Sport: floorball
+Ice cream flavor: anything chocolatey =)
+Fruit: strawberries
+Candy: anything but the ginseng type. yucks la.
+Car: dunno. haha..
+Magazine: i stopped reading them due to lack of money
+Day of the week: Saturdays
+Color: green, light blue

SECTION 9: DO YOU
+Like to give hugs? well. maybe...
+Like to walk in the rain? it's fun!
+Prefer black or blue pens? both can? haha blue
+Dress up for halloween? no, i sleep
+Have a job? student lor
+Like to travel? not really
+Sleep on your side, tummy or back? my side
+Want to marry? too early to decide la. lol.
+Have a goldfish? my father has them... in the balcony
+Ever had the falling dream? yeah
+Have stuffed animals? lol yes, esp my favourite green elephant
+Go on vacation? i just came back not long ago

shittified (nothing to do with the tags)

looks like history is repeating itself.
am i going to bottle up all my weariness again?

i thought
and oh, i was so wrong
i'm being kept in the dark

go to Him, all who are weary and burdened
and He will give us rest

rest? ha. ha.

how to rest with all these going on?
"everything's changed
everything is different"
and this time it's worse

more pimples. and it's all because of this.

omg...
i only went away for awhile. and will be going again next week.
now this.
is history going to repeat itself? please, i'm begging, don't. because i don't want to go through another round of this. can i at least enjoy myself in S'pore before going off? at least make my life pleasant?

sometimes i feel like backing out. but it's only that bit left... to stay or not to stay?

anyways. the rest of the group. how? looks like i gotta call all of them and tell them to sing the songs on their own. we cannot practice with the entire group yet, not when we haven't get our songs right. and the chinese songs... too bad i guess. time is running out. once it runs away, we can't catch it back. so use whatever time we have wisely to practice on our own before meeting up to jam, before we can call the whole group together for 'rehearsals'.

i'm a slow learner. better start practicing like mad. personal aim is to play All Day without hiccups. then move on to others.

geography project. how how how how how how???
homework . how how how how how how???
sec 4 farewell . how how how how how how???
revision . how how how how how how???
the one . omg omg omg omg omg omg. . .

short hello

ok i gotta make this fast cos it's my dad's lappie and he's down for breakfast...

firstly, i cut my forefinger last night while eating crab. stupid crab... oh and the seafood here's great. especially the prawns! wah rocks la.. cant wait to get back to S'pore...

secondly...
the jamming peeps.
sorry la! anyway we are abit beond that standard now wad... every band has their worst and that's just one of our worst. we've improved! that's like something we can look back and laugh about, how sucky we were mah. i get some stuff from Malacca for y'all la ok, happy?
TIM! WHY YOU GO AND ANNOUNCE THAT YOU HAVE THE RECORDING??!?!?!?! you were the one who asked me to send secretly somemore lor... see la already kena stoned.. this Sunday worse can. haha..
SARAH! stop spamming ok! lol. tag so many times... i shall go and flood your tagboard one of these days :D
HORSEY! have fun with your 'electronic drums'! too bad we can't do fake jamming together... haha! and you miss seeing my house lighted up and bright right! now it's dark.
PRIS! lol everyone's only more pro like now lor.. just 2 weeks ago we were some shit. haha... and Tim doesn't know Raphael so... yeah. haha. i'm also broke la!

okok.. i think my father's coming up soon. better stop here. shopping rocks!
(Lai Theng: hello!)

goodbye

no, i'm not closing the blog. i'll be off to Malacca tomorrow and back on Saturday. don't miss me hor ;p

about yesterday's jamming...
we were early. so we went into the room like 7 mins before the scheduled time. before the music director came. we were all like rushing through the song la! haha.. damn funny...
"quick quick, later he come then we screw!!!"
"omg i thought i saw 2 heads outside"
"hurry, drummer start! no time already!!"
and we were all scared like shit. in case something goes wrong. lol.. and he was late la. as usual.
honestly right, i think yesterday's was really the best so far. or is it because it sucks at wee lee's? haha. if you compare with all the previous recordings. should have recorded yesterday's one... [i will not betray the rest of the band by making sure the recordings are safe with me and not in the music director's phone]

oh yar... i did something to the memory card. BIG mistake... and then the very first recorded songs cannot open! in fact can't even open the files in the card la... urgh i'm so regretting it. 1GB leh!!! walau. *hits head* at least i still have the second set of songs.

piano teacher said today that i must have more confidence -.-

i think... i know alot of things. about what's happening around here. (thanks, my fellow 'investigator'.) the more i look at the 'evidence', the more obvious it is. like, right under our noses... more than obvious. oh wells...
another thing.. atmosphere is very tense. me, the silent observer has observed... lots of things online. kk i shall not elaborate.

this is something you definitely cannot miss. can laugh your ass off. super cute and yet super true... click on it now! go go!
http://www.syfc.org.sg/events/dvc/cinema.html

(today is 06062006. the omen!)

our words kill

the Tongue

James 3:5-10
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of teh body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and its itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise out Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.

So you see, the tongue is deadly. It can hurt people and pull them down... We say words that built and words that destroy. Positive and negative. Encouragement and discouragement. Yeah you get the idea.

See the line I underlined, it's so true... Out of this same mouth comes praise and cursing. Gossiping/bitching about people. That's like a normal thing, but it's wrong... Saying bad things about others... "who have been made in God's likeness". This just isn't right. It's disgusting, yet true. I mean, God taught us to love everyone... Love, say good things, it's all on the good and bright side. We praise and worship Him together in church, at home, etc. And then when we gather with some friends, the most common thing is to gossip. That person who's being bitched about might not know, but look at the underlined words again. Even a simple statement like "she's such a flirt" can be considered a curse. (Sounds like a Sunday Christian?)

I'm sure everyone remembers quite vividly how they've been discouraged by their friends, parents, .... we can't seem to forget it. It's like glued to us and it affects the way we think about doing something. Failure to do that something, perhaps? "Why are you alllllllllllways like that?", "can't you be faster? do you know you're very slow?"
Likewise we shouldn't say those to our friends or juniors or whoever. Instead, twist it and encourage, not discourage. "You're getting it, just need a little more practice and you'll be fine." See the difference? Who likes to be discouraged la... And of course we have to mean what we say. Don't be sarcastic (that hurts too) or lie.

Whatever goes in, comes out. Read the word of God. It goes in, but does it come out?

Okay, I confess, I've been like that. Sometimes it's really cannot help it. But at least I try. I try not to take part in gossips. I try to encourage people or correct them in a nice way. (note: i TRY) Maybe cos' those workshops on leadership always emphasise on encouraging.

If anyone finds this post insulting, (I pray not,) please tag or something. I will not hesitate to take it down. This post is not meant to point or pick on anyone, seriously. It's like some reflection on Saturday's Youth Service. (speaking of youth, Faith (Ong) said backups sang well! haha yay.. it's all by the grace of God)

here's something from Desmond's blog... haha, interesting...

Words Of Wisdom 4

for this week, i'm gonna talk about LOVE! =D and FRIENDSHIP! lol. both together.

let's talk abt those whom are attached. yes. u hav a gf/bf nw. but what abt ur frens, lets nt juz push them aside n forget their existence. they're the ones whom accompanied u while u're single. so nw when u're attached, u forget abt them? tats nt right! if u think u cant find them becoz u're nw attached. i think tis is juz an excuse, ever heard of time management? USE IT! even if u have to go on dates on weekends, use the friggin' weekdays with ur frens! basically, juz don't forget ur frens lah.

okok, abt those, whom frens r attached. yep. u gotta accept it. ur fren has to "donate" his/her time to other areas. as his/her fren. wad can u do? COMPROMISE! accept the fact that they're attached n can no longer spend more time with u guys. juz because they cant spent as much time with u all doesn't mean they CAN'T hang out with u guys anymore. c'mon lah. wad if the one who is attached is u? how would u feel if ur frens walk out of u when u found love? u song meh? as frens, u should be instead happy for them!

try to achieve a win-win situation. brin ur gf/bf out when u go out with ur pals? tat can be a gd idea too! =)

jammmmmmmmmmmm

bye bye if you think this wouldn't interest you.

Yesterday's jamming
it was fun. fun fun fun.. can't remember much la i only know it was FUN. haha. with drummer (Joey), keyboardist (Priscilla), electric guitarist (Sarah), bassist (me), vocalist (Stacey) and my 3rd floor neighbour (R). He's supposed to help Sarah with her guitar and play along with us.. We finally started on another song. but it's like very not coordinated... lol.. better than nothing la, right? we bargained with the Wee Lee man and extended for another hour, the more expensive room. heavy rain couldn't go anywhere. he gave us a $3 discount. haha.. that one was so much better i tell you. bass there was so different... but Fourtones is still the best. just that go must look pro and play pro-ly.

Yesterday's class gathering
[because "class chalet" sounds weird]
so we were late and we thought Ms Ang was gonna flare up and scream her lungs out at us. we were so wrong. she was in a good mood la... yep so most of the time was just watch TV, talk, eat, talk, eat, watch more TV, and yum seng! some of us went high after the Singapore Idol results. PAUL TWOHILL!! omg he rocks can! who says you can't sing with braces? haha..
Ms Ang told us a piece of sad news. damn saddening pls... and unexpected..
i went home at almost 12am. good choice, cos' those who stayed didn't get much sleep.

This morning, bus stop
i dunno how, but my water bottle cap came off IN the bag. and i didn't know until i felt the back of my skirt. wet. walau i think people thought i had menses la... the whole bottle of water was emptied lor.. tamagotchi spoilt. half the ink on the bass reference smudged, my chinese book got wet, ink on the receipt kena inked on my money... luckily it was a plastic note. oh and my gloves were soaked. like totally.. urgh. got up the bus holding a wet bag. the aunty who sat beside me on the bus kept staring at it lor...

This morning, cca, handbell practice
we completed Waltzing Matilda! the last part of that piece was a killer for the middle treble bells. semiquavers all the way. haha so i guess playing the melody has an advantage? =) so far, we finished 3 songs. still got about 7 more. *faints* for music marathon and some big performance next term. stayed back for the lower sec practice and filled in for the one of the sec 1s. damn easy can! those songs are like the easiest of the easiest. wahaha...

Afternoon, Jamming again
at Wee Lee's. i was late. went in and was pushed to the bass... haha. at first was really wasting time lor. see all their sian faces, like just fought with people and not happy with what kinda shit.. super waste money and time la. some were like unhappy over small things, we can do other songs besides those for the music marathon wad.. expetced, fail. then extended another hour and we did more. more productive.
we combined the 2 songs, as in play and sing it without breaks in between. BUT. the first song's quite CMI, canot make it. here's when we need the music director's help... speaking of him, i think it's time we let him hear and see what we've been doing so far.. can't go on like that la, it's just like, stuck there. and anyway i'm not the bassist for the music marathon so why am i working so hard with the band ah. hello, Clare where are you.

i hate being faced with the same situation, which unfortunately, happens all the time.
MONEYLESS! penniless. no money la... again i don't even have 5 cents in my wallet. it's just some cards and the bass ref and a receipt. all my money's in that drawer in Wee Lee lor.

i recorded some of yesterday's and today's songs. which is really the same thing with lots of mistakes.
Yesterday: 2.6MB, 7 files
Today: 2.5MB, 6 files

if anyone hears those, i bet they'll laugh until the floor shakes.

beach cleaning at ECP with fellow peer lites

God blessed us with good weather. took lotsa photos!



uh, the sky's supposed to be bright.


don't you just love the beach? so relaxing...


rome of the rubbish picked by my(minor)group. was in major group 2..


sand, footprints and my shadow.


peer lites working without supervision. we can be trusted okay!


one,two,three,four,five of us... group B,love y'all!


credits to Nerizza:) for the middle and right dustbins. haha Singapore has so many dustbins,yet people litter and make us poor girls clean up after them...


Dezarae and *Jillian.. WAKE UP SLEEPYHEADS! lol.


went for cca after that. those are 2/3 of my bells. haha.. handbells handbells!

shhh.

don't ask me anything.

not my usual self today.

the thought of aunty Jenni's funeral freaks me out.

another long day

total: 6
six projects this june.

rushed to church after peer lites' meeting for worship practice.

today's youth ablaze service was like cancelled. it was a memorial service for Aunty Jenni... omg we were all like crying so hard, i mean, it's hard to believe that she's really gone to be with the Lord... she did 3 years of work in Kalimantan for God.. then now we see her soul-less body lying there... we love you, aunty Jennifer!

my parents finally got me a line la.. like i've been bugging them since P6 end each time it's the same answer: show me the results. the phone is so different from the old one can...
some people are getting irritated with me,keep changing number... but it's really not me la...
first i was sharing the phone with my mother.. then she complain the bill always overshoot. like hello one month only got 100 sms of course overshoot la...
so she got me a prepaid card,which was like really cannot cos' the value use up very fast. uncontrollable la... one minute 22cents one msg 5cents....
FINALLY FINALLY got a proper line. can msg without worrying already..

Singapore is small. really super small. first when i found out about this, was already like woah woah... and then things progressed and time passed. and then Joey told me about something related to this. omg la! it's so shocking lor... i mean, your own ______mate? and she's _______'s h___? and i thought it was someone else, still okay... but she's from ___ _c__o_! wah.. i need to buy more chill pills....

whatever's going on is none of my business.

homework and projects, here i come!

the jamming. the snipping.

Mrs Wong said that i'm a very responsible girl! when it comes to handbells at least. haha looks like there's hope... i think i rock leh! alot of teachers like me! ok that's so bhb. sec 4 farewell better start planning soon...

results aren't that good. But, quite happy with my position in class =)
A1 - accounts, music
B3 - bio/chem
B4 - ss/lit
C5 - chinese, geography
C6 - english
F9 - e maths

L1R4: 15
L1R5:20

the jam was more of a practice session... Priscilla & Grace-(she left halfway) keyboard, Joey- drums, Sarah and Raphael(?)- electric guitar, Sacey and I- bass guitar. cool. we practiced for the first hour and jammed for the 2nd. yeah, i can proudly say that we did jam something after a looooooooong time. BUT there were screws here and there... so in a desperate attempt to complete a song, we made this rule, don't stop even if someone makes a mistake/just continue.. haha... i hope we can complete another song. now that One Way's taken out, which one should we start on? erm, director? we still need you. i suggest we start on all the songs even though screws will always be present. rather than get stuck at one song all the time and be unable to move on...

(wait a minute. joey isn't the fixed drummer. i ain't the original bassist. so does that mean our work today... all gone down the drain?)

Sarah, Joey and Stacey..
sorry guys! the woman really took damn long to cut my hair.. i've never sat in front of a mirror for more than an hour before (unless you count last year's dance rehearsals)

mixed emotions

just when i thought things were getting better...

read my mom's msg:
aunty Jennifer had passed away.

why, why does God take away great people like her, who does mission work for almost her whole life, touching lives and turning people to Christ, why? why, when she was such a good example for us to follow? the whole church is like grieving now... why does Dad allow this to happen??? it was only a mortocycle... she was knocked down and that left her in critical condition... and now we know she's up in heaven with Him...

that kinda affected my mood for the day. 'jamming' sucked, (my opinion), because of this very unexpected news. what if one day God took away my friend or family member? will i be able to put my all in Him like i've been doing all these years?

if there's one question i want to ask, it would be this...

"why?"

assume not, for it's not always right

i haven't even wake up from dreamland and the visitors from the other side are already knocking vigorously at my door. haha. it's ok if it's not understood. not meant for anyone to understand anyway.

who said anything about hating anyone?

who said anything about trusting people i got to know for even less than a year? am i that naive? to tell every single detail? i know where to draw my line. my brain cells are still working.
who said anything about pride?

who said anything about crushes? i used to have a crush on 'dad'. no one at the moment. focusing on God, studies, piano and bass now...

who said anything about me being unable to accept differences?

who said that i'm totally shut off from comments?

who said that i hate the people who made comments if they're meant for me to improve and be alerted about things which i'm unaware of?

who said that after not very nice comments, friends become enemies?

who said that, if i don't respond to something, i have not thought about it? i'm just lost... and i'm not sure how to reply, how to gather my thoughts... i needed time to react and put them down in words.. you can't expect me to give you an instant reply right.

who said that i don't reflect? in fact i reflect too much... which comes to this conclusion:
i know you care. i appreciate that, really.. but it sounded really harsh this morning. i wasn't mentally prepared...

assumptions. assume not, for what you assume is not 100% right all the time.


i choose the people i trust, yes. now i'm announcing to the world, PUBLIC (another point: don't assume things before i open my mouth) this is the first time i'm putting this type of thing up for the world to see.
-God, my Daddy never lets me down. He's always there for me. i cry out to Him and he never fails to answer. sometimes i don't even need to express feelings out cause He already knows. He is the first One i turn to, He is the One and Only... nobody can replace Him.
-my trusted mentor is older and wiser, she knows alot and can give good advice. her shoulder has been available for me to cry on since 2003. i know i can trust her. (lunching with her soon, i can't wait)
-parents? well i'm not too sure about that. my life is still quite restricted,they only allow me to make friends from school and church.
-(my 'dad' has been gone for good. he's kinda out of my list)
-friends. a very wide range indeed, so exactly who? it's really quite simple. requirements: i completely trust those who are close, whom i know for at least a year, who are not mixing around with the wrong crowd and are not bad influences. i trust those who are ok-close, whom i know for at least 1/2 a year. note the word 'completely' is absent here. (Hillary and Joanne are different, though.) want to gain my trust, not that easy you know...

does that answer questions?? everything is summarised in this post and mainly the lines in red.

oh yeah, have i mentioned? i don't hate anyone currently. i'm not that selfish and i'm happy for those who are sure of what they want to do in the future so please don't assume.

be blessed, peeps... =)
meanwhile, i'll continue to listen carefully to morning devotions. those this week are having an impact on me.

just when i thought.........
i can always leave if you want me to do so that badly,
i can let you do everything you want
you just can't make me stop that
it's more than just little hints, you know
i'm not some dumb ass who'd let you talk behind my back
and pretend that i don't know a shit about it

trust can be so deceiving...
i can never trust anyone again
not even them...

omg....
so shattered on the inside

where're you when i need you most?
i need to talk to you
missing you badly... it's been a freaking long time

wth! should start smiling with my mouth closed

can't wait to sit in front of the hairdresser... and shove those spectacles away. but the thing is my eyelashes are too long so the lenses cannot go in. what a lame reason, really.

worship team... they re-grouped the vocalists! now there's 3 teams. Grace (Quek) and i are in team 1. and the other 2 teams have 3 singers, so not fair...

should i go for the sonic fest boot camp? christel encouraged everyone in the team to go. but.. there's a musician's elective and nothing for vocalists. i'm not playing any instrument for the team, so quite hesitant about going for the session. they have evening worship which is open to everyone, FOC. to go or not to go?

Adeline kept 'molesting' me this morning during assembly. was poking my back from the top to the waist la... lesson learnt: never sit in front of her.

according to Ade, 50% of the marathon group feels left out, cos' of the jamming discussions... they feel they're not involved enough? hey, that's only for those playing to perfect their instruments, which we have failed so miserably.. (2 hours and not even a complete song...) if we include the entire group for the 'jamms', they'll just complain that the studio is too small and that they're wasting their money. so to solve the problem, all of us are going to practice by singing in between lessons. get the whole group involved. well at least that's my suggestion...

energy all drained

i woke up at 6.05 this morning. only to find that i had 10min to prepare. lols

at the beginning of the walk, it was like, silence. no one spoke. haha.. none among the three of us at least (Jasmine, Joey, & i) then after a long break at suntec, we got high and crapped throughout the remaining 5km. never walked for so long before but hey, we completed the whole 10km! not bad right...

i hate fighting with for buses. typical Singaporean reaction, kiasu until like that. push and push... and we missed like 5 buses? haha... to suntec again, this time for lunch. and waited for someone to come. wah i tell you ah, even the procrastinator cows came home for dinner. (get it? when someone says (something) until the cows come home means they are very slow/take very long) okay. out of point.

super tiring pls.. came home and wanted to do a little of bio. the result, slept on the table. haha...

i've been practicing bass since 8 something. and uh, i'm acoustic guitar to practice because i have no bass guit. lols... my whole arm is like cramped!! now i can only type... Joey's here practicing as well. we tried to do One Way and Tell The World. haha it's a little successful if we do it without the music. urgh, the bad thing about bass is that your hand will just stop halfway and stop plucking the strings.

wahah... my arm is aching.

wherethelovelastsforever

this morning's workshop was on time management, not making right decisions. i admit it's quite useful. learnt things like saying "no" to requests if you are reluctant, don't force yourself or do it and add on to your already tight schedule. then i thought, look at the people i know. how many times have they turned me down? almost never. and now we're taught to say "no" which is somewhat difficult...

rush, rush, wait, rush, wait. the result? 10mins late for the so-called jamm. that wee lee guy was so errrrr... annoying? hah. probs with so many things. ok now i believe the music director. Fourtones is ten times better! will be glad to go back there, though it's further.

Sarah, learn your guitar chords. C#m, G#m, whatever... Priscilla, learn your keyboard chords. it's a MUST. cannot play without knowing at least the tonic triads because we're not singing hymns. Tania, you better come for the next jamm and drum properly. Clare also better come. i know our class 'band' standard is low, just come and contribute. as for me, ...... i'll be an extra again? other than teaching keyboard. note: i'm not a good teacher and i cannot teach so asking me is like asking the wall.

right. after 2 hours, we still couldn't finish up a song. only like 3/4 of it.

i was super late for youth service la... should have left earlier.

so we had cell bonding after dinner. and gosh, i feel that we really bonded, i mean, all of us sitting/lying down in a circle for so long engaged in the activities Joe and Smarties had prepared for us. though i'm one of the two girls in the cell (yes, just TWO) i think.. i like my cell members and they're very thoughtful and encouraging =) overall, had a great time la. Wan Hui drove me home at 12am.

yayness, back from the hospital

tomorrow's gonna be an extreeeeeemly long day.

starts off with the workshop on making right decisions from 0750-1100. then i'll be home to get changed and if there's time, lunch. meeting at 1230 for jamming until 1500. youth ablaze service cum cell discussions, 1600-1830. after that it's cell bonding all the way till the cows come home. as long as it's before the 2300. i won't wanna be questioned by the men/women in blue. can't stay over in church cause, Big Walk the next day.

speaking of cell bonding, i've not done what i'm supposed to do for the cell. prepare stuff. some show-and-tell thing, another of Joe's crazy ideas... and hth (how t h) am i gonna get it... one night? see, that's another example of last-minute work which should be avoided.

to the one i spoke to about it:
i went through alot recently la k.. almost excatly the same case. you're 16 but i'm not even 15 leh... look at my previous post. give your all to God. Philippians 4:6-7, Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requeststo God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. don't waste your time thinking about this kind of people. remember what i told you alrights =)

urgh

a thousand times i've failed
still Your mercy remains
and should i stumble again
i'm caught in Your grace
everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
my purpose remains
the art of losing myself
in bringing You praise
everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

in my heart and my soul
Lord i give You control
consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
become my embrace
to love You from the inside out

everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
and the cry of my heart
is to bring you praise
from the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

that's excatly what i want to tell God... "a thousand times i've failed. still your mercy remains" this whole song just appeals to me la k. He picked me up each time i fell, filled my cup whenever i was dry. His love is everlasting, he will not let _____ undergo that much suffering, His light shines when all else fades. i just need to pray and trust..

i don't care about it already la, why let it affect me so much right. it's "no longer i but Christ in me" so why should i be fretting over it. let her go and say all she wants. go tell the whole church la, "i don't care what people will say, (i'm running after you)". what's most important now is the one in hospital... pray so _____ wont have to go through so much pain and the insides will work well...

i'll try to push that away from my mind. think about the positive things. i might wanna learn the bass guitar more in-depth this time. add on to my list of instruments. haha.. it's easier to learn more instruments when you have almost 9 years of piano background. besides, i already know this many, it'd be easier anyway so why not learn more..

usually pianists have a metronome when they play. it just goes on ticking and they follow the beat and play. but i don't have one... and in order not to let myself go off-beat, i use my left leg to set the tempo and yeah, the left foot 'taps' the beat. speed must be constant and cannot be confused with whatever's the hands are playing on the keyboard. that's just one advantage of doing without a metronome. hand-feet coordination. wait a minute, that sounds familiar...

a little encouragement for today's 'jammers', the ones learning drums:
you're doing great. keep improving! listening to more music helps :)

when i listen to music, i dunno what to pick up. the vocal harmony parts, the keyboarding or for now, bass and drums (because i've been surrounded by drummers and drummers-to-be) wahaha... so it ends up as dividing the song into a few parts and pick our the different instruments and voice. lol.

music is my passion. i'd rather think of this God-given talent than be bothered by negative stuff.

fieldtrip & prep lesson

[edited,1145pm]

lit test sure die.

some world-class speaker was invited by the principal to speak today. almost everyone expected a dull speech. lol we were so wrong... talking about (literally) bad hair day when he was bald, his daughter, being able to play the bass guitar and drums. oh yea, he even demo-ed for us. he has a good sense of humour.

the fieldtrip to labrador park was so-so... threw away my shoes and socks. yucks la, we went there and, high tide. so the waves just wet the entire foot and a lot of sand went inside. so there were 2 parts of the 'lesson': one on weathering and erosion, the other about vegetation. nothing much. the weathering one was super boring. drawing rocks, observing stuff... i wanted to just sit on the sand la.. vegetation was slightly more interesting.

today the class displayed good class spirit and unity. this could be seen during the journey back to school... camp cheers and campfiresongs. haha... we were all so high. remember last year, it was so cliquish, everything was done among their own cliques. this year's different. it's the whole class being involved in activities.

ms Ting said, of all the classes she took for the trip, ours was one of the best. lets see... ms Sen likes us because the whole class passed bio and dear wen qin broke the record for highest marks in dunno how long, ms Ang had said that our class was unlike the previous years' 3c2s. something different about us, haha.. mrs Eng likes us because we did alot better than 3c1 for accounts and we're never late for lessons, mrs Chong likes us because i can see that she enjoys teaching this class.

Stacey, Joey and i were crapping at the void deck opposite the school. sang songs and really crapppped.. then we walked the looooooong way to the bus stop and went to Heartland.

KFC for dinner. music director aka mysterious teacher taught them some basics of drumming. i was there as an extra actually. haha.. Joey made me go. didn't waste time la, learnt something about drums. AND bass guitar! didn't know it was that simple la... (the super out-of-tuned guitar at home was finally tuned and used. lols.. ) music director taught the bass thing. at any one time just press one string can already, haha don't need to worry about which finger press where. interesting. i'm learning more instruments =)

we were talking about very random stuff. like THE salt. and the pronounciation of some words..

two of them then came over to my house. it became damn noisy. the sound of chopsticks hit on the cabinet and table.. haha... i was supposed to be an extra today and not learn anything from the director leh. ended up 'practicing' with them. haha... 12341234.. created a fake and cymbaless drumset using small and big chairs. so creative right, my idea mah... haha.. then i played around with the guitar and found that it bass part was much easier than the others.

i was super high la. then my whole mood changed dramatically.

as if things in my family aren't bad enough, my mother went to add on to it. hello, who says i don't care? i may seem like i don't give a damn about things, but do you know that i'm praying super hard, 'behind the scenes'? i'm not that heartless you know. i don't just heck care and be so self-centred. still.. what's the use of telling you i'm praying hard, you won't listen anyway. you'll just say that i simply don't care. it hurts... i might just go down to the hospital alone tmr.

as if i'm not afraid of the whole situation now... pls, i'm normal on the outside and trembling on the inside. what you see is not what you get. being a biology student, i know that what the doctors did was abit too extreme. such a big thing, how could i not care la? God knows ok. i don't bother about what you think already. Daddy in heaven knows me from the inside out. He knows my character. He knows that i'm not a self-centred person, that i care for this family member... why can't my mother be more understanding? why can't she trust me more? why??? my own mother...

i cannot stop the tears from flowing. Lord, i love You.. thank You for watching over me... please also continue to watch over my family and let all misunderstandings be cleared...

today's full of ups and downs

[edited, 1.30am]

the title says it all.

this morning.. my dad couldn't send us to school, he wasn't feeling well. damn hard to get a cab between 6.30-6.45am.

i wanted to discuss things about the music marathon. we tried to. and we could not come to an agreement, about who would be the musicians. i thought things were more or less settled. no, they only made me more stressed. suddenly i was like, the I/C.

i'm not the leader, how come it was me getting all stressed up? i had to answer to the mysterious teacher and confirm things fast. didn't go for recess... too stressful.. i had gastric...

then i thought, i'll just was my hands off the whole thing la. why did i even bother to try to coordinate things when the rest were not satisfied with this and that, why, when they could not see that time was running out? i wanted very much to give up. dunno if anyone noticed, but i was crying a bit. and then finally they came to a conclusion. but... it could not be finalised until the mysterious teacher said yes...

so during lunch. after the phone call which got things settled, and Yu Hui, Hillary, Priscilla and Madeline attempted to lift my spirits... i felt better.. i mean, lunch was perfect with them and the load slightly lifted up.

english teacher did not come today. so i was in the library doing work and msging... then one message appeared from my mother which totally brought me down again.

something happened and a family member something... i felt like breaking down right there, where everyone in the library could see... it was just too sudden, too sudden... i couldn't take it.

i really need prayers. not me, but someone in my family. pleassssssssse pray hard that all will go well... you might say it's not a major thing. but it's really too sudden...

Lord, i commit everything to You and trust that Dad, You will let it go well... i pray with faith that You will not let anything else happen to make things worse...


it's both school and family stuff... how to cope? i'm only this young... it's too much for me to handle.. my previous further describes the pressure i'm going through...

just wanna sincerely thank these people, they know why..
Madeline, Yu Hui, Priscilla, Hillary

...and for more than just being there..
Joey, Timothy


my juniors say i play the piano well. it's all by the grace of God... i hope to do a good job for the music marathon.. keyboarding for Him... He gave me this talent anyway, it's only right that i give Him my all in this major project... because Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men

[edited to add]

this song made me realise how much i need God in my life, especially during this time. the tears just flowed like a tap... like so automatic... this is when i'm really desperate for Him...

Draw me close to You/Never let me go/I lay it all down again/To hear You say that I'm your friend
You are my desire/No one else will do/Cause nothing else could take Your place/To feel the warmth of Your embrace
Help me find the way/bring me back to You
You're all I want/You're all I've ever needed/You're all I want/Help me know You are near

I'M DAMN STRESSED NOW CAN.

PROJECT WORK! AND WE'RE NOT EVEN IN JC.
SOME FOOD BUSINESS PROPOSAL...
STILL HAVE MUSIC MARATHON: CLASS AND HANDBELL ITEM/PERFORMANCE
AND CIP PROJECT FOR THE AUTISTIC KIDS
AND LIT TEST TO WORRY ABOUT.

wth... how do they cope with PW in JC??
we're only in sec 3 and going through soooooo much pressure..

I'm going to finish burning the midnight oil and burn down the block.
This is the result of last-minute work.



to think that i had sympathized with you... wrong choice, sadly..

i forgot abt peer lites' meeting! shit la.. ms ___ going to sit and aquash me...

Wooots!
Finally got Hillsong United's 'United We Stand'.. The album rocks! (Haha hey Joey, Tr--ks over Dr----) The time has come To stand for all we believe in So I for one Am gonna give my praise to You

Bought 2 skirts. A feathered rose for my mum.

God helped me give my all during today's worship. I didn't feel pain when singing. As long as I focused on Him, all the pain was taken away. God is good =) But when it came to talking and laughing, I was like ouch-ing throughout... I swear the ulcer's getting bigger! Sucks okay, totally hate ulcers... Haha but I'll still eat chocolates and ice-cream.

Global Day of Prayer
4th June 2006
National Stadium
7.30pm

Who's going? Dunno whether I should go...

3c2 girls in my group for music marathon!!

PEOPLE!

WE HAVE TO DO OUR PART FOR THE GROUP, CLASS AND SCHOOL.

ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PLAY DRUMS OR BASS FOR THE GROUP'S 1/2 HR PERFORMANCE PLS TELL ME.

OR YOU JUST WANNA LEARN.

LIMITED PLACES, 5 ONLY!!

AND YOU'VE SEEN THE TEACHER BEFORE.

COMMENT ASAP OK. EMAIL, MSN, TAG, ETC..

THANKS!

Will further dicuss this on Monday..


i can't smile (literally) with you
being on my lip..
get off me!
you're hurting like crazy

stupid ulcer

gosh i do feel like shit

now it's geography as well?

i certainly don't want to retain or drop
(sorry if i'm offending anyone)

feeling useless again

like the dumbest sec 3 express student

sadly,no excitement this week

Main thing yesterday was that we had our discussion for the 90 hours music marathon. Led the group together with Tania, Stacey and Priscilla. We only did Christian songs and a Chinese one. (Wah Yuhui can sing Chinese songs really well.) I taught some of them the alto part for this particular song. Cos' none of them knew and the chorus was quite high.. We actually wanted to play song of the songs 'live', but then no one can play the bass. If Clare does electric, then no drummer. Stick to sing-a-long? ..... & it's not like we can get external help...

My whole banded class failed Chinese I think. 1st time failing in 1.5yrs. 20/56 leh isn't that fantastic. Wth. Gong han also fail, 7/20. Just when I thought my Chinese was fine...

The class did damn well for biology, making me look so stupid. No failures and Ms Sem was pleased with us. Could have gotten more marks.. I did badly.

E maths is confirm die lor.. stared at the paper and found that I didn't know 90% of the sums. So in the end, just wrote some rubbish equations and submitted. Maths used to be my best subject... now it's my worst...

According to Mrs Batiah, the whole level did badly for English. Only a few from my class passed. Having failed the previous term, I was somewhat surprised that I passed this time. BUT. It's only just passed. On the dot. 25/50 so what difference does it make right.. still lousy..

What's happening to the most important subjects?? English, maths and science... Now it's up to chemistry to pull up the science marks which I think, cannot make it... Please don't kill me ok..

I find myself struggling to refrain from eating ice-cream like everyday. Save money mah.. Yes I know, money again... If I go by the front gate, the ice-cream uncle is there. If go back gate, will end up walking past KFC, Macs and 7-eleven. All that ice-cream!!!!!!! gosh man. It's so hard to control.. so I end up buying =D McFlurry rocks. I love ice-cream!!

Pity my friends leh, haha.. cos' I always ask them to eat with me and then they'll be like, so reluctant.. Can't find an ice-cream partner. Lol.. I have science lab partner, chapel partner, dance partner, class partner.... but no ice-cream partner =(

Starting to lose interest in friendster..

Oh and Happy 18th to Simon :)

I'm on backup duty this week.
AND for church camp! I really dun want lor... if youth camp still can la, but.. church camp?! that's both youths and adults! yes i know i've sang for evangelistic events which includes members of the public. but i just don't want to sing for the camp!! worship is a lot easier on the floor than the stage la... they always make the 'older team' sing lor... sounds so old but it means more experienced. not showing off or boasting hor. can they ask the 'younger team' for once?

[edited, 1.10am]

kindly leave if you don't like long posts

Perhaps I should have agreed on the jaw surgery.

why are you even thinking of it? God created you in His own image, why that thought?

Sigh... I really dunno....


//
I've always admired the way they play the guitars and drums with such passion. They must be truly blessed.
//

We rode into town the other day,
just me and my daddy.
he said I'd finally reached that age,
and I could ride next to him on a horse
that of course, was not quite as wild.

We heard a crowd of people shouting,
and so we stopped to find out why.
There was that man that my dad said he loved,
but today there was fear in his eyes.

So I said, "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows.

Daddy please, can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry.
You said He was stronger than all of those guys;
Daddy, please tell me why.
Why does everyone want Him to die?"

Later that day, the sky grew cloudy,
and Daddy said I should go inside.
Somehow he knew things would get stormy.
Boy was he right,
but I could not keep from wondering
if there was something he had to hide.

So after he left, I had to find out.
I was not afraid of getting lost.
So I followed the crowds to a hill
where I knew men had been killed,
and I heard a voice come from the cross.

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robe?
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows.

Father please, can't you do something?
I know that You must hear my cry.
I thought I could handle a cross of this size.
Father, remind me why.
Why does everyone want me to die?
Oh, when will I understand why?"

My precious son, I hear them screaming.
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming.
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus, this hurts me much more than you know,
but this dark hour, I must do nothing,
though I've heard your unbearable cry.

The power in your blood destroys all of the lies;
soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look, there below, see the child
trembling by her father's side.
Now I can tell you why...
she is why you must die.

POLLING DAY

Results! My dad got the TV wire fixed just for the news. It's gonna be TVless again after this. So much for 4 whole months of no TV.

SMCs

Bukit Panjang PAP
Chua Chu Kang PAP
Hougang WP
Joo Chiat PAP
MacPherson PAP
Nee Soon Central PAP
Nee Soon East PAP
Potong Pasir SDC
Yio Chu Kang PAP

GRCs

Aljunied PAP
Ang Mo Kio PAP
East Coast PAP
Jalan Besar PAP
Pasir Ris-Punggol PAP
Sembawang PAP
Tampines PAP


TAG REPLIES.
jasmine; then shouldn't be that xing ku right. haha.. cos' those not in the table actually quite little :)
persie; lol your blog is like infested with spiders and their webs la! update more.
liying; excuse me, of course i'm happy, PAP won for aljunied grc! and it was damn close. PAP, all the wayyy!
enmei; HEY! i know you've done your english, group leader. haha..

:)

i'm saying this again. fridays are hated because of single periods throughout the morning. unless you count chinese, thats double. so many single periods make the day long, especially when you have something on in the afternoon.

no comments on bio test.

npcc day, adeline looked like a girl for once. haha.. it's cos' of her hair la... & she had to salute to the subject teachers.

had expected the huge crowd of pl girls at bus stops after school. we were required to leave the school by 2pm, so you can imagine the 1400++ of us squeezing around... say, 8 bus stops? haha.. cabbed to serangoon mrt with drusilla. she paid, i had no money.

anyone who's with me at the end of the week will have to suffer because i have no money on fridays. after one huge part of my weekly allowance went to concert tickets. no, not the pl band one. but for O level music. managed to not touch the 50 cents i had since yesterday. no lunch for me, but a super filling recess at 9.40am. how did i pay for food, you ask. well there's ezlink ;) sorry drus and timothy, really no money left.

yeah so was like rushing after school. drus and i were the only pl lites at the station. the earliest, haha. then she left for ps and i went on. i only know how to go to funan from cq stn cos' of the violin lessons last year. others, totally alien. unfamiliar. and no one else was in school uniform.

realise that at this point, i have not mentioned what i was doing alone there. haha.

crossing the road with with a non-stop traffic flow was like, freaky. i know it's a one direction thing. but you know me, i'm a guai person who crosses at traffic lights :) no la not all the time.

was stunned when i saw the place. THE place. like omg, speechless. maybe because my expectation's very high church is a much nicer place to do it. never did it outside the church before, so... yea.

so many of them and i only knew one person. but, they are a friendly bunch =) i felt awkward in a room with total strangers, excluding tim. kept quiet. so unlike my usual self. haha... was damn impressed with the music produced. like, WOW, so pro. almost good enough for the production of an album. (my vocabulary's pathetically limited, by the way.)

the original compositions were also very nice. Bring Me Higher 's my favourite. my keyboarding sucked today, didn't know most of the songs anyway. then for the more familiar songs like One Way and For All You've Done... didn't know which key they were singing/playing in. my perfect pictching was dead that afternoon, how unfortunate. and the keyboard.. is weird. like middle c is always in the middle, that one was more at the right side. no wonder sounded strange la. and for the effects of filling in... well i couldn't figure out which button to press, later press wrongly then.. haha. so it was chords all the way, how sad.

you might have guessed what it was already. if you're 'huh'-ing then too bad. lol.

as you can see, my posts are all very detailed. haha bored then don't read lor! why are you still looking here? close the window or navigate away from the page la!

since you chose to continue reading, i shall go on.

i'm constantly being remined that i am fearfully and wonderfully made. i am God's creation. yet i'm not satisfied with myself. my weight, the freak pimples, etc. what should i do? like there are so many things which i'm not really happy about. little things here and there. if only this, if only that... it's hard to remember that God thought this is the best and stuck with it, only to get negative comments and unhappy with what he thought was good. and then i look at my friends, they don't look at the cover of the book, but the contents, i am thankful for that. still there are others who prefer the cover and stick with the contents, however horrible it is. whatever. God loves me just the way I am, He created me, that's all that matters.

sec 3s, jia you! tests coming to an end...

It's late. I should be sleeping, not blogging. After this, I'm going to spend some time with my God, the One and Only... it's been quite a long time since I last touched my bible and really pray in the spirit. Realised... that I seem to be able to speak in tongues only when I'm with a strong group. Can't do it alone..

Music lesson ended late, as usual... yet another history lesson on Classical music. Who says we don't take history as a subject? Lols. I wanna say some things which are bothering me.

I may look cheerful and light-hearted on the outside, I can take jokes, yes. But today, you've reached your limits. It's too much. Couldn't you tell? When I insisted non of that was true, you knew it too. You knew it, yet you continued to do it. My tone of voice had warned you to stop, why did you go on? The others were not pressuring me. I could tell, however, from the two of you.. your attitudes... so unpleasant. Please, know when to draw the line. It may be fun to poke at others, spare a thought for the 'victim'. And think of yourself in her shoes before you continue shooting embarrasing words out of your filthy mouth. Watch out, cus' you could be next. Go reflect and shut up before more people get pissed with you.

.

O Lord, I need your grace and mercy. I want to pray like never before. I need the power of Your holy spirit...

stressed again!

JOYCE IS MAKING HERSELF DOUBLY BUSY BY BLOGGING AND SAYING YES TO THEM. i didn't actually agree, it's just... try lor. if cant then too bad.

JUST HEARD FROM JOANNE, NO MUSIC TEST TMR!!! YAY that's one thing less haha... yayness omg.

Geog test this morning rushing again.. Didn't really answer the last question on features of the tropical rainforest.. sth like that. 5 marks leh! Think only can get like 2 marks. The qn on Amazon Rainforest was the best... 1 whole page of crap.

Ms Ang was in an unsually good mood. Gave us some pop quiz about the elections and Clare's siblings and what Valerie's recess was. Lol... About the Milo advertisement thingy.. whatever... there was no other way to hide the articles! And I told the truth okay. Was trying to cheat. Haha... And we thought she had PMS everyday. Looks like it's gone. Only for awhile.

Joey - be thankful I'm not blogging about the papaya and self-service incident :)

Chem tuition? Somewhat. I learnt something at least... PL chem teachers should allow periodic tables during tests. Makes it a hell lot easier actually. This nice 'tutor' was more than 1 hr late lor. Haha. How can anyone sleep at 6am and wake up at lunchtime? I wake up at 6 lor. xP No money, still go and tempt me with the oreo thing and cheesecake... all my favourites can. Grrrr. Yea then Horse went for dinner with her mum and I went back alone. The train was damn crowded... Tried to stabalize myself, nothing to hold on to. Luckily never fall on other people, haha..

















hole in the ceiling in class


















In the corridoor.. and a part of the roof fell off.

















Our falling-apart admin and geography board. World map drawn by us! Newspaper there is extra la. haha.
















And the tidiest class goes to................. 3c2! *applauses* (Clare so extra, haha)
















before 7am.

Haha 3c2! Hilarious bunch of girls. Love you guys =) .. Super run-down school. It's a holding school after all.

no scolding from piano teacher today! surprise, surprise!

Updated profile, on your left.

SS test was okay. Just ok.

"Girls, last two minutes, finish up your last sentence."
wth, i still have 1 paragraph la!
*scribbles frantically*
"ok, stop writing."
shit shit shit.
"I said STOP WRITING."

Lol I managed to finish up my lousy paragraph 5 of the SEQ. So that was the test, one period of accounts eaten up =D Haha. Mrs Eng likes 3c2 more than 3c1. I did extremely well for the cashbook test. Overall this term is A1 :)

POA lesson:
"Madeline, why are you talking to yourself?
Scary."
-Mrs Eng

Miss Tey didn't come in for class. 2 periods of slacking. I was sleeping la. Those around me were talking about GB stuff. Miss Kok's maths classes are the pitiful ones. lol.. promoted to outside seat if you fail her maths quizzes. They have been sitting there since dunno when lor.

PW, English, Geog. 3 projects. One is due next Tuesday.

Geog test tmr, sure die. Give up hope already... only studied natural vegetation. Weathering is like, gone case. Chem and music test on Thursday, bio on Friday, E maths next Tuesday. Damn stressed can..

There's hope for chem and maths :D
thanks

Weathering is the disintegration and decomposition of rocks in situ, meaning they remain where they disintegrate or decompose and are not carried away from their original site; in other words, NO TRANSPORT IS REQUIRED IN WEATHERING.

Eroision is the wearing away of rocks by moving agents (winds, waves, rivers, glaciers) which then carry the rock material away from the original site. Unlike weathering, transport is involved in erosion.

Physical Weathering
-Disintegration/breaking down of rocks into smaller pieces
-size and shape of the rocks (physical appearance?) of the rocks are altered but not their chemical composition.
-Products of physical weathering usually coarse and angular.
-more effective in areas with:
-little vegetation
-large diurnal range of temperature or
-temperatures fluctuating around 0°C

Chemical Weathering
-Decomposition of rocks when minerals in the rocks react chemically with rainwater, seawater, carbon dioxide and oxygen to form one or more new chemical coumpounds.
-Chemical changes weaken the rocks which break down over time.
-Alters the ohysical structure and chemical composition of the rocks.
-One or more new chemical compounds that are formed are fine-textured.
-Most effective in hot, wet areas.

Types of Physical Weathering
Frost shattering/freeze-thaw action
Conditions conducive to frost shattering are
-an aduquate wupply of moisture
-the presence of joints, fractures, bedding planes or pore spaces in rocks
-temperatures flactuating around 0°C

When water that has entered the joints freezes, the ice formed strains the walls of the joints and causes the joints to deepen and widen. This is because the volume of water expands by 9% when it freezes.

When the ice thaws, water can flow further into the rock. When the temperature drops below freezing pointand the water freezes again, the ice enlarges the joints further.

Repeated freeze-thaw action weakens the rocks which, over time, break up along the joints into angular pieces. The angular rock fragments gather at the fort of the slope to form a talus slope (or scree clope). The splitting of rocks along the joints into blocks is called block disintegration. The blocks of rocks that are detached of various shapes depending on their rock structure.

Ice crystals can also form in the pore spaces of rocks. They grow larger as they attract water that has not frozen from the surrounding pores. The ice crystal weakens the rocks which, in time, break up. An exapmple of rocks suscetible to frost action is chalk, which has many pore spaces for the growth of ice crystals.

Laboratory tests show that frequent daily freeze-that cycles are more conducive than seasonal freeze-thaw cycles to frost shattering.

Insolation weathering/thermal expansion
Supporters of insolation weathering believe it is a major physicalprocess in deserts. Deserts have a large diurnal range of temperature. Day temperatures can rise up to 35°C or higher because of the lack of cloud cover to reduce incoming solar radiation/insolation. Night temperatures can go down to 10°C or lower because of the lack of cloud cover to prevent outgoing terrestrial heat from escaping back into space.

Rocks expand when heated in the day and contract when they cool down at night. However, the rocks are not heated up right through. It is the outer parts that heat up and expand, and cool down and contract. The repeated expansion and contraction of the outer parts form cracks. Evantually, the outer parts of the rocks peel off in layers. This type of weathering is called onion peeling or exfoliation.

Different coloured mineral grains in a rock expand at different rates when heated. The darker minerals absorb more heat and expand more than the lighter minerals. The differential expansion causes stresses between adjacent grains and the rock will disintegrate grain by grain. This is called granular disintegration.

Salt crystal growth
Salt crystal growth in rocks can be found especially in arid regions where the ground water containingdissolved salts such as sodium sulphate is drawn up to the surface by capillary action.

When water evaporates, the salts are left behind as crystals in the pore spaces, cavities and joints the rocks.


sick of typing. shall go back to writing. lol.

tired.

Everyone seems to be doing intense last-minute revision. Or so it seems. Cos' Horse and I expected Heartland Mall to be flooded with PL lites, hoho. We only saw one.

It's a productive day. Though at first we were distracted with other things. *dramatic cough* Haha.. took more than 4 hours to just remember the causes of conflict in Sri Lanka. I just finished my revision. SEQ!!!!!!! Oh gosh... So many points... Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland.. Divided loyalties, education, employment, housing.... Consequences..

ARGHHHHHHH!!

Hope I won't blank out tmr..

And I have not done the draft for the newspaper project thing!! En Mei, don't kill me pls... Super busy la.. I'll stay back for recess to do it.

Yours truly has found a one/two day tutor to help with emaths and chemistry. Lol. Yay! At least now there's hope.. Esp chem, omg that's the worst. dig out everything from your bin okay! and transfer them into mine! haha..

Well I guess that's it for now. Nites =)

icanmakemyowndecisions,thankyouverymuch

1) smoked -no
2) consumed alcohol -does a little of it in food count?
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex -no
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex -yea
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex -omg no!
6) made out with someone of the same sex -double no!
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex -yes
8) watched porn -no
9) bought porn -no
10) done drugs -no
TOTAL: 2

11) taken pain killers -yes
12) taken someone else’s prescription medicine -yar
13) lied to your parents -duh
14) lied to a friend -well, yes..
15) snuck out of the house -yep
16) done something illegal -like bringing chewing gums into Sg? yeahhhh
17) cut yourself -nope
18) hurt someone -uh, yes i think
19) wished someone to die -no
20) seen someone die -not yet
TOTAL: 7

21) missed curfew -11pm curfew.. haha
22) stayed out all night -yess
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself -no $
24) been to a therapist -no
25) been to rehab -no
26) dyed your hair -nope
27) received a ticket -yeah
28) been in a wreck -no
29) been to a club -nah
30) been to a bar -no
TOTAL: 3

31) been to a wild party -not that wild
32) seen the Mardi Gras -whats that
34) had a spring break in Florida -never been outside Asia...
35) sniffed anything -yes, but not to that extent
36) wore black nail polish -*shakes head*
37) wore arm bands -yes
38) wore t-shirts with band names -no
39) listened to rap -yes and it's complicating
40) own a 50 cent CD -nope
TOTAL: 3

41) dressed gothic -yes
42) dressed prep -no
43) dressed punk -no
44) dressed grunge -no
45) stole something -yes
46) been too drunk to remember anything -haha no
47) blacked out -yea
48) fainted -no
49) had a crush on your neighbor -nah
50) had someone sneak into your room -YES and it's annoying
TOTAL: 4

51) snuck into someone else’s room -yes though i know it's irritating
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex -errrrr, no
53) been to a concert -lots of them
54) dry humped someone -?
55) been called a slut -no, thankfully...
56) called someone a slut -nope
57) installed speakers in your car -i have no car
58) broke a mirror -no
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex’s house -no
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush -nopes
TOTAL: 2

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper -no..
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters -at home, yes.. theaters no
63) cruised the mall -yeah
64) skipped school -i'm a good girl :)
65) had an eating disorder -never, ever.
66) had an injury -duhhhhhhhh
67) gone to court -no
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying -lol no
69) caught something on fire -yea and it's scary.. the ethanol in the bio lab...
70) lied about your age -i can't. haha
TOTAL:2

71) owned an apartment -no
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend -don't have one
73) cheated with someone -yar
74) got in trouble with the police -nono
75) talked to a stranger -"excuse me, can i take some of your time to do a quick survey..."
76) hugged a stranger -no
77) kissed a stranger -omg no.
78) rode in the car with a stranger -taxi driver? haha
79) been sexually harassed -no
80) been verbally harassed -yeah. all that suannings...
TOTAL: 4

81) met face to face with someone you met online -yes
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight -*shrugs*
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight -o_O no
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight -nope.
85) been to a fair -yes
86) been called a bad influence -yes.
87) cursed -it hurts alot, yea.
88) prank called someone -yup
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex -my brother? haha otherwise, no
90) cheated on a test -yes
TOTAL: 5

91) cheated on homework -duh
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex -yes
93) been pushed into a pool -yes
94) played pool -no
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight -less than that
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you -no!
97) had a crush on someone younger than you -no
98) wear eyeliner -no
99) skinny dipped -no
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt -yours truly is not that mean!
TOTAL: 2

Total Score: 32


Lol that really doesn't make sense! the scoring thing... i mean some of the 'yes' ans are not intentional.

The PAP and Worker's Party trucks are hilarious. And noisy at the same time. PAP must win! Recently there's been quite alot between the 2 parties... Look at The Sunday Times, 1st page. Aljunied GRC. Who will win? Haha I'm like so IN to the elections.