Psychology is cool. I think.

Things I read from my intro psych textbook today:

1. People who abuse drugs, engage in violent and (teen) sexual activities do not have a problem with their self-esteem. They need positive achievements and prosocial behaviours.

2. (Albert Bandura) Part of personality is a collection of learned behaviour patterns. Through social/observational learning, responses are acquired after watching others' behaviour and the consequences of their behaviour. It is the ability to forsee the consequences of actions, particularly in what happens to others.

3. (Bandura) Reciprocal determinism is the process in which cognitions, behaviour, and the environment mutually influence each other. Each of the three elements reinforces the others. Say, I love music (cognition), so I join a musical ensemble and spend more time with my ensemble mates (social behaviour) in the music studio/room (environment). In a more spiritual sense, I may feel affirmed about my choice because the three elements work to reward me and make me feel good and feel like I've done the right thing. (yea sure, if only this were true)

4. Our behaviour is largely influenced by our sense of power, or locus of control (Julian Rotter). It is an individual's sense of whether control his or her life is maternal or external. I can say that I am master of my own life (internal locus of control), or fate determines what happens to me (external locus of control). Where religion is concerned, I think both are involved though. I know, for one, that my future is in God's hands, and He has plans for me (external). However, since God loves us and gives us the freedom of choice, I can decide what to do, whether I want to be a rebel and walk away from that path, or engage in activities that may lead me closer to His plans (internal).


Psychology over sociology any day, man. At least I can relate to them. Today's soci quiz totally murdered me. I really hope I pass it.

Hollyhoque Contour Bodycon Dress

I'm sad :( Woke up just to catch HH's launch, waited a few minutes, still no launch, decided to give in to my body's need to release waste, came back, and was too late.

My Contour Bodycon Dress - Black in Size S (UK6) was all pending. :'( Really like that dress a lot! :( :(

Downtown East Murder

Pride? Display of 'power' and capabilities? Were those what the teens/tweens wanted by engaging in such an impulsive act?

Alas, it's too late. The deed has been done. 

If convicted, they face the death penalty. No mercy there, they will never see, hear smell, taste, nor feel anything after that..

I wonder how their families are doing now. Their parents must be hardest hit, I mean the fact that their sons' lives are in the hands of the judicial system, not theirs. All those years they've spent trying to bring up their sons gone down the drain, all that blood, sweat and tears wasted just like that, should the boys/men be guilty of murder. Too late to do anything now, besides pray and engage the best lawyers (if they even have financial means to). The defense may not even win the case(s). But as parents, they'd naturally want to do anything within their means to help their beloved sons, even if it means they will lose everything (money to hire lawyer + son if state wins).

Oh dear. I really feel for their parents :( I hope they remain sane and not end up needing psychiatric tests themselves. My limbic system is very active at the moment.

Maybe that's why I do silly things

Kept trying, trying, trying, was so confident that I would get it, but no I NEVER do. It's this kind of frustration that makes me want to give up once and for all, intensifies my inferiority complex (yes I know I have it), and makes me want to do more stupid things like in my previous post to try and forget it all, push it all away, pretend this never had to happen. It's times like this that I feel I simply am not good enough, and will never be good enough.

And I yearn to go back to where I can be accepted and 'loved,' even if only for awhile. Though I know that after the whole episode I'll have to face this shit again.

Take this away from me. Please. It's agonising.

Reflections

Early this morning, I learned what it's like to 'live for the moment', and experienced its post-event symptoms. It's not worth it. Honestly.

A full account of this has been drafted but will remain unpublished.

NTU CF!

Okay, Amelia, Victoria and myself are finally joining NTU Christian Fellowship. After like, 2+ months. We are finally going to put our lives back in order. Not that it hasn't been, but it just is more complete to have a CG within school (in addition to UJC* in church :P), it keeps us sane and stops us from drifting from God. At least that's how I feel about this. Definitely helps to have a support group in school. :)

Gonna get back on track again, and I can't wait to restart on this journey!!


*Uncle James' Cell

Just a thought

Wonder why I keep breaking down.