last day of term 3

My eyelids are terribly heavy...
a quick post now

Teachers' day gifts prepared at the eleventh hourtook me so long to select the photos to print for Mrs Ong, Mrs Wong and Mr Fong,
took me even longer to search for a bible verse to write. Gosh my handwriting sucks.

Before we bid farewell to term 3 and welcome the dreaded term 4,
I would like to thank the following:
Yesterday was the last time we (graduating bellers) got to wear them.
This handbell gown, old design, is very tight at the waist, it has been my friend for 3 years.
I had another one in sec 1 which was too loose.
She will be collecting dust in my dull cupboard in the years to come.
My choker, made by Cheryl's mum...
The old one broke days before the July performance at SCH, the SYF Presentation of Instrumental Ensembles.. and so I got a new one, costs me 12 freaking dollars.
But it's pretty, so it covers up for the cost.
My heels, oh yeah, they have definitely served me well.
One part of it broke during the July performance this year. I used rubber bands to try and secure the broken part, but to no avail.
While walking on stage, I slipped a bit, did my best to cover up the sudden 'going down' movement.

That's it. No more gown. The end.
After making handbells my life for 4 years, all I've got is an A2 for CCA grade. I am so utterly (insert word here)

ML/HL/Ethel... LY deleted our other NICER clique photos so we're only left with this. the not very nice one. wth.
Sec 3s - Sherry/LingCyen/LimXi/ZiQi/Diana/Charlene if you want your photo, get from me ;)
i'm too tired to put up more... upstairs, my bed awaits me....

find joy in something else then

it seems...
the more i try to avoid and shift away from it
the greater the effects
i can only wait

after all,
time heals all wounds, doesn't it?

english prelim

"eh, get up..."
i felt a tug by my side,
and awoke with a start
"06:20" flashed on my phone
i had missed the time to mug

Study plan was unsuccessful... So much for wanting to wake up at 3am, get prepared for school and then having an early breakfast at macs at 4am with horse.

Instead of sleeping at 11 plus last night, I pulled out my diary, the book which I had chucked aside at the top of my bookshelf a year ago.
I opened the black book and skimmed through the entries.
I sounded so immature. (Not that I reckon I'm mature now...)
My last entry was written in July last year..

I pulled out a pen, I intended to write about the cell group, I wanted to practice for the EL P1.
But the memories came flooding back...
A wave of nostalgia hit me so suddenly, I had the urge to write about our pre-SYF days, the SYF period, the Japan trip and the post-Japan madness that followed.
They marched into my tiny brain and invaded it, what else could I do?
And so I wrote and wrote until 12:30am and reluctantly dragged myself to bed.

I really miss those days...
My school life so far has been handbells, handbells, handbells, and more recently, prelims and 'o' levels.

Now there's news that there will be a photo-taking session this Wednesday at 2:30pm for handbellers, everyone's to be attired in their costumes.
I say "their" because I will not be in the photo, I have science practical. Prelims.
There's no way they're gonna postpone the phototaking just for me.
(why didn't they pass the message earlier? why only now?)
There's no way I can change shift either (I'm in the first shift, you see)
Why does a photo mean so much to me?

I wrote the 1st question for Section One of the English Paper 1 today...
Topic: Love at first sight.
My story was SO cliche, the entire scene was set in a SCHOOL CANTEEN, of all places..
What was I thinking?? 3 pages, the canteen...?
Oh well.


If there's one thing I can rejoice about, it'll be the mere fact that BFC is expanding and multiplying =)

time zooms by

There's a tight knot in my stomach now.
I dunno how to continue with my composition.. I think it kinda sucks.
It's very pentatonic, and Charmaine the pro (x10) is doing that style too, which makes me feel inferior cos' she's so many times better at music.
In all components. I dare not sit beside her during music lessons because then you'll see a very distressed joyce.
=(

Prelims are fast approaching... English and the 2nd last session of the music coursework are tomorrow, yet I have to suffer under the hands of my Chinese and math tutors later.. subjects which will not be tested next week.
Someone teach me how to love Chinese!! This is a desperate plea lol.

Common test results make me wanna tear up the test papers.
My gut reaction? One of stark disbelief. I studied.
My best subject? Deteriorated. I'm fine with accounting for clubs and societies (tht one full marks) but the analysis and interpretation of final accounts is just omg.
Careless mistakes are slipping in =( (i forgot to depreciate Premises = wrong capital owned = wrong capital employed etc.) they're unavoidable as long as one is panicking (got a prob with phrasing that)

Can you hear my scream of anguish?

Of course, thank God for friends =) who put colours into my life.
My clique (wq wy lt mel sara priya) makes me laugh every recess.. (think of the PL Goes Unhealthy movement)..
My handbell clique (hl ml ethel) celebrated mine and ly's birthday, pics can be found at ml's blog. I feel like grabbing all her photos and putting them here.
My cell group (way too many names!) had bonding on Friday at Clarke Quay (no clubbing, no) and I must say we had a really good time together. According to Joe, 40% were newcomers. Horse we're all anticipating your return! haha. (Wan Hui, where are the photos??)
And there are some (Joshua Cheng Wee Smarties George) who chip in money ($10) just to support me and my dumb mission (to sell off the funfair tickets), the 'best' thing is, they're not even coming.
Iris bought my 2nd ticket. I'm still thinking of how to sell the rest.
(attack of the brackets)

come what, come may
time and the hour runs through the roughest day

surprise!

what the....?
how on earth...............???

Anyway thanks Pastor Glenn if you ever see this...

another year, another birthday

You guys really brighten up my life...

Thanks for even remembering my birthday! hahah
and also for the following ---

birthday songs:
English tuition class in school this morning, and my dearest cell group (with cake some more!) this afternoon

your lovely SMSes (earliest to latest) :
Sophia (0000), Ken (0001), Melvin (0001), Iris (0051), Valerie (0145), Daddy from Bangkok (0212), Joe, Hillary, Janice, Mummy, Man Ling, Lai Theng, Elaine, Xi Ying, Jess, Priya, Persie, En Mei, Sara, Simon, Andrew, Shu En, Tania, Sheila, Jia Yan, Hui Ling, Priscilla

Friendster comments/other:
Genesis, Melody, Wen Yi, Jasmine Koh, Man Ling again, Xi Ying again, Dorita, Janice again, Cheryl, Denise, Grace Quek, Grace Yong, Ariel, Amelia
( i hope i didn't miss out anyone else)


Last year this time it was half my cell mates who celebrated with me at S11, I still remember everything vividly (even the part whereby our church members from other tables came over to wish me), and this year they did it again.
They were acting weirdly so I kinda guessed there was something behind their "random talk".
I was pleasantly surprised by the cake, the delicious chocolate cake which Joe has very kindly purchased.. it has some extra value there because he went through a lot of trouble to get it.
I am really touched by some of the things BFC did...
that a FEW of them had brought lighters with them to light my ONE candle (haha), and how more than one of them prepared a card for the cell to sign, and made sure I got one (card) today.
I was tongue-tied there and then, at a loss for words. I bet they couldn't read my face like a book. But inside I had only one thing to say:

omg.

Haha I've got to admit I've not been a very good birthday IC for the past 8 months, I'm really running out, in fact I've already run out of ideas as to how a cell member's birthday can be made special. It has been card, card, card, card everytime. And occasionally, the cake. An example would be the June babies' combined birthday cake. It's always combined because it's not possible to get a cake for every member's birthday. And now I've run out of ideas, I so need to ask God for more. I even had (still having lor) a problem... I didn't know how to let the July/Aug ppl have the chance to blow candle, cos' my bd falls in Aug..(I cant be getting a cake like this, then including myself in it right) and so Daryl and Kai Wei haven't blow candle yet. I wanted to include the 2 of them today, but I simply didn't know how to do it. Now I feel bad =/

Special thanks here for filling up the card with your "happy birthday"s, i dunno whether to smile or cry;
Wan Hui, Joe, Jacelyn, Andrew, Aaron, Sophia, Daryl, Clarissa, Joshua, Iris, Yong Liang, Kai Wei


Haha to conclude today's post...
I never plan anything for my birthdays all these years, no parties, no outings or special meals whatsoever.
Because it's like, just another day lor, especially this year when most of us are sitting for our O and N levels and busy studying our brains out..
Hehe but it's you guys, whose names are mentioned above in this post, who make my birthday a special one, who make it different from my view of it being "just another day".
Be honoured ok you're being appreciated. Lol.
And how could I forget to thank God our Father, for seeing me through another year and for putting you people into my life?

P.S. everything mentioned here is accurate as at (look at the time below), I will not be adding anymore names (if any, that is), sorry!

one more day...

Hello.

I screwed my music practical like shit, and now I feel so demoralised.
=( I have close to zero confidence in my practical now..

It's really difficult for me to talk as I break out into coughing fits.
Ouch. It's so xing ku you know.
And I don't dare to take my cough syrup cos' it causes drowsiness, and there's no way I can afford to feel drowsy with all these tests and exams.

My dad is overseas.. will not be back until midnight this Saturday. So that means dinner with my family (plus grandparents) is postponed zzz...
Oh wells, never mind, I'm studying with Joey that night.
Studying with BFC in the afternoon.
Having English tuition in the morning.
There. Got my day packed already.
Nice right. Hah.

conquering the sickness

Health is a blessing, really...

So many commented on my 'sexy' voice today -.-
Well for one thing, it's not nice to have a sore throat which affects your voice.
I attempted to sing during chapel and it didn't turn out too good.
(ya and Grace Quek can still ask me to replace her for backup this sat...)
I hope to be better by the end of the week, because there's English oral next Wednesday and I need to practice.
Just like everyone else.
Thank God our class' oral is not THIS week or I'll just kill myself, I don't know how merciful the examiners are when it comes to genuine cases of sore throat.

Pastor Glenn Lim is wayyyy cool.
His stories are so entertaining, so engaging, and I think for the first time, the speaker at the front was able to capture the attention of every girl in the hall for chapel.
This rarely happens.
Hahah I remember laughing out loud a number of times today..
Boring topic, but he made it interesting.

The pressure is building up, up, and hitting the clouds soon...
There is practically NO TIME left, it's time for intensive revision now!
I'm only online to de-stress.

Ya right. Lame excuse.

I've been here for about an hour now and I will leave in, say, 5 minutes! I will!

But before I go... I feel like posting a picture of a cat the few of us (Fiona, Xi Ying, Pearlyn, me) see every morning while walking to school. This is the black and white cat, my favourite. haha
to climJust when I thought I would finally get serious and start studying,
just when I thought I am finally able to concentrate on the upcoming exams,
just when I thought I will not let anything pull me down or distract me....
The emotional blow just had to hit at this time, oh gosh, at this time...
How am I going to get back?

o level chinese results

I feel better after talking to my Chinese tutor, that's why I'm blogging.
Otherwise I wouldn't be here at all =/

Thanks the few people who showed concern for me... haha
I had a fever when I woke up last morning, 38.2 deg, and the temperature went down and up and down and up... you get the idea. I felt cold and hot and weak, I didn't study for the entire day. =(

Today, I didn't feel good, yet I went to school specially for the Chinese O level and POA class test results.
Both were heavy blows... raising my body temperature to 38.5 deg I think.
I did badly for both subjects la.

And you know what?
I've lost weight... sigh.
We took our height and weight today. (H:163.3cm, W:41.6kg)
But hey I skipped dinner last night and had a tiny sushi during the 1st period, just before PE.
Does that explain the weight?
On the other hand, while almost everyone else was in PE attire, I was in school uniform.
Should be heavier right?
No. Why why why... ... I'm not anorexic!

a week to my bday

I had a bad stomachache this morning after English tuition in school.
Can you imagine, I held on to my tummy from maplewood park all the way back home.. =(
After shitting, I felt totally weak. Drained. Fatigued. You name it.
And I thought I wouldn't be able to make it for the worship prac.
I did anyway.

Today's worship was good.. a rather refreshing one, to be able to hold the mic again. haha
After being idle from April to July.
I even felt nervous at first, thought I would go off pitch at certain parts.
Then I shook those thoughts away, praising and worshiping God freely on the stage.
It helped! That I was less self-conscious and more God-conscious, remembering the reason why I was there in the first place--
My decision to serve God in the worship ministry =)--
and all went well.

SP (senior pastor, not s'pore poly, mind you) was the speaker for today's sermon.
Wah... It felt as though the whole sermon was directed at me can?!
Even the cell discussion part...
Omg I was stunned.. The exact things I need to do, count my blessings and all...
Also the part on how not to let someone affect your grades.
Well now I know =) And I thank God for today, it's yet another happy day!
If I let Him take control, if I don't let my mind wander. Haha (=

I love you Jesus, deep down in my heart

I also love you BFC, deep down to my left ventricle!

national day

happy belated birthday, Singapore!
happy belated birthday Aaron!(my annoying brother turns 8)
happy 16th, Melody!

Sorry, no photos from Mel's birthday celebration because I look like I was in the wrong attire, and I don't look good, hahaha

This is the sec 4s' last national day celebration in PL...
For most of us, it's the 10th and final one.
(colours award and book prize winners had to view the parade in the classroom.. away from the sweltering heat but i rather sit with everyone else at the grandstand =[ )
This is how the parade looked like from where I was: the contingents and the dance
I even have videos of the flag raising, march past, ... ...
=( I will not come back to teach, teaching's not my thing.
No more PL national day celebrations....


I don't want to appear like a busybody-who-cant-mind-her-own-business, when the only thing I want to do is help. Simple as that, just help. But how??

Things to do, as stated in the prayer cards from the Day of His Power pack:

At least once a month, prayerwalk Singapore, right where you live, right where you work.
1) Acknowledge Christ's Sovereign Lordship.
2) Affirm God's Hand upon Government.
3) Welcome God's Awesome Visitation.
4) Unleash God's New Wave of Prayer.
5) Declare God's Favour on His Church.
6) Declare God's Salvation for the Heartlands.
7) Declare God's Restoration for Families.
8) Declare God's New Life for Neighbours.
9) Declare God's Fresh Start for the Poor.
10) Declare God's Revival in Schools.
11) Declare God's Revolution in the Marketplace.

I will do it! I know I am part of the Christian community, and together we are the Church in Singapore! If prayerwalks their own neighbourhood, all hearts will be united as one in prayer, how cool is that...
There's gonna be revival in this land, this little red dot! (=

I feel like crying every time I think about it. Why did it have to turn out this way? I will be forgotten in no time... wasted all my efforts.

today

Today, today, today...

2 periods of English, and nothing else.

We had oral practice today and my marks are still fluctuating at 26 and 27 la...
I dunno why I can't score for conversation and picture description. =(

After English we had break.
After break was 5, FIVE WHOLE PERIODS of nothing!
Mrs Tan ML didn't come so I got excited over the POA test results for nothing.
I spent 1 period doing her homework, and slept for the next 2 periods, 80 mins.
Next was Chinese lesson where we had to write an informal letter to our Chinese teacher, Mrs Tan HH. And I'm proud to say my Mandarin is still intact. hahaha
The last period was spent running around the school with Lai Theng to look for Mrs Ong -.-

After school ....... (no. of dots does not equal to the no. of letters) and I studied at KFC...
Ok la quite productive it was 3 hours worth of studying, otherwise we would have been sleeping at home instead, which is worse. lols.
please work hard for your combined humanities leh...if you ever see this.

Went to collect Melody's birthday cake with Lai Theng from DJ Bakery at 9pm.

Weee going to have mug@macs session 4 now with Horse. haha (time check: 10:15pm)

----

Ok and now I'm back... I spent the whole 1 hr plus mumbling my head off, now all the housing stuff are rojak in my head.
I just hope I don't dream of high rise/density flats, HDB, HUDC, self-contained new towns or anything like that tonight =/

back on the worship team

aieeeeeeee!
I see my name on the worship team roster!
I know why... Iris (sec3) is removed =/
I'm back on the worship team! But at this time...?
Not very convenient right? Is that why I'm not feeling excited?
(zi xiang mao dun, i said i miss backup in my previous post...)

aaaaah omg according to the roster I'm scheduled for this week! Team 2!
Sigh but I've lost most of my on-ness alreadyyyy and I need to get fired up.
How? Sing more during the week??

the heat is on... to study

As I come into Your presence
Past the gates of praise
Into Your sanctuary
Till we're standing face to face
I look upon Your countenance
I see the fullness of Your grace
And I can only bow down and say

"You are awesome in this place, mighty God
You are awesome in this place, Abba Father
You are worthy of all praise
To You, our lives we raise
You are awesome in this place, mighty God"


This song has been playing over and over again in my mind for quite some time... I wonder if it means anything..?

One thing for sure, I do miss singing as backup for the youth worship team...
It's been a few months now.
I dunno whether Faith Chris and Boon took me out for good or just let me step down temporarily to study. Hmm...

I have no piano lesson this Tuesday! It's some holiday for Yamaha cos' of national day.
And I'm happy there's no lesson because my teacher keeps lecturing me, says I'm still not up to standard. Ah well..

One thing I really hate is to get false hopes. You know, some people lift your spirits to such a high altitude (haha geog) and let go so suddenly, you plunge down like nobody's business.
The feeling is like shit.

I feel like watching The Simpsons Movie. Or Rush Hour 3.

No, cannot, must study.. Horse and I have started session 1 of our mug@macs plan. muahahas.