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I feel so lousy all over again. The atmosphere here is getting more and more depressing, I admit. Just wanna say something

Christel, Faith, and even Jon, I'm sorry I screwed up the whole thing. (Saying this though I know they'll never be here.) I guess I wasn't really prepared for it, the message was too last-minute. Yeah, this is not the first time I screwed up, please give me another chance if you guys are thinking of doing something about or to me. The more I think of it, the worse I feel. I know you'll say that it's okay and I just need more confidence, etc... But that's just how I feel about yesterday. I hope to do better in the future. Thanks for the many chances you have given me last time. My weakness, I confess, is not being sure when to start and that my 'confidence is running low'. I have been perfectly honest now, don't comment on this if any of you even see it. No, I take back my previous sentence. Shouldn't be runniny away from mistakes and a chance for others to correct me or give advice.

I feel like crying. Seeing the rest of them together happily makes me feel like shit.

******

Have to do the Macbeth ppt on Microsoft Word. The entire music project is weighing me down. Deadlines are Monday and Thursday respectively. Need to practice my piano scales, do music homework, finish up my mountain of schoolwork and study for Social Studies, Geography, Chemistry, Biology and Principles of Accounts. Tests. Not forgetting the PC lesson with 1A1 tomorrow which I have yet to prepare. Nisa isn't replying my messages or answering my calls, which leaves me to prepare for the lesson alone. All group works seem to be my work now. I might just collapse the next minute and everything would be fine. Oh, happy dreaming, man. Looks like all the negative stuff are pushing their way into me. Pray for me, please. Thanks guys.
time:1pm, and it's sunday not saturday